Couch 54, Where Are You?

restraints were not all suportive and escort you to your room. they were violent and people got hurt.patients got hurt. you cant see how things were in these peoples heads. how staff were not always helpfull. they got angry ,hurt along with patients. anyway

Just fyi, "making it big" clothes catalog is carrying my favorite type of bathing suit. It's not inexpensive, but they last and they cover everything from here to Timbuktu. They are like triathlon suits - one piece zippered tank top and legs almost to my chubby little knees.

Interesting topic on the couch today.. I am sitting at t's office. Been dreading t today, shame from last session has driven dread. Hoping the appointment goes well.

I'll be thinking of you Healed!!! Hope it goes well...

Why not?

Much more mellow now, sorry for the 8 million posts. Feeling good about the weekend, the holiday, and my 10 year wedding anniversary next week. Maybe my meds or therapy or something is finally kicking in.

The difference is in respecting boundaries.

I notice that several people have made comments like this.
I'd just like to point out that gaps in the conversation are normal and natural. Few of us have time to be on the couch all day. People come and go. Nothing personal.

What about Walmart?

I can see that it did affect you and I respect that. It was a strange thing for her to do. It's about boundariws, isn't it?

Yeah, and the fact that people were putting forth the statement that the other woman's behavior was normal and the implication that I am the one who was reacting strangely was super SUPER upsetting. I know my reaction was more extreme than a "normal" person's response, but I maintain that the other woman's behavior was totally out of line and abnormal and over the line of appropriate behavior even in a locker room.

I can't see bumping into someone else in a locker room situation being within any range of normal. Even the people who walk around naked with no towel don't bump into people. Generally everyone I see tends to step pretty far back when using lockers in close proximity.

Guys - all I was trying to point out is that other people are often just not aware of one. I was not making any judgment about any reaction anyone actually had. I was being more general. I have stated my belief and that is all. Everyone else is entitled to their view of it as well. Everyone can have their reaction. I just don't see that anyone was acting in bad faith. I would see getting bumped into as an accident. I do better when I remember others are not usually doing stuff to me specifically and that many things are accidental, even if they set me off. If that is not your experience, then okay.

I definitely agree, and I live in a culture where public nudity is probably more appropriate than it is in (at least parts of) the U.S. You make sure you don't touch other people in that context, it's simple, basic courtesy.

I have accidentally bumped into someone in a locker room. I was moving away and i fell over. I was topless. It was an accident. I was not trying to rub on anyone. I don't like touching others as a basic way of life. The person i hit, even though I apologized, was affronted and yelled at me. Frankly I thought she over-reacted to an accident and her reaction was a lot worse for her than it was for me. I have over-reacted to accidents. When I over react, it is usually only making my life bad. Plus I do find that many people are mortified enough without me adding to it by reacting like they are horrible and thoughtless etc. I find it is better for me to keep the idea of accident in mind than, for me, going off on the failings of the other person.

My apologies, MKAC. I truly didn't intend to imply that the woman's behavior was altogether normal or that your reaction wasn't normal. I was just talking about my own experience and expectations.

And when I use a locker room, I stay as far away from others as possible.

My incident was CLEARLY not an accident. It was her either being completely oblivious in a way that totally infringed on another person's boundaries, or totally narcissistic or self centered or something. Not the same as just falling. Even then, why take off your clothes move within 6 inches of another human being the way this woman did me? I did consider bursting out with some version of "what the **** is WRONG with you?" but did not.

You may have been trying to make a generalized point, but the manner in which you are making that point seems to be criticizing my reaction or saying why it was wrong. I get that my reaction was more than normal, but I do not agree that reacting badly to that situation was abnormal.

One, I didnt see that anybody said or thought your reaction was out of line regarding nakedness or touching. The only thing I would say is, well she did get there first, so maybe you could wait your turn? This is something I always have an issue with. I dont like to wait and it seems like people are just lollygagging. The other thing is, I can be a little lightheaded as soon as I get out of the pool.

Mkac- i was not criticizing you. I did not see your situation as clearly not an accident, but that does not mean I was criticizing you.

Stop, when you made the statements along the line of how one should assume accidental touching, and how if you have a problem seeing naked people you should stay out of the locker, etc, that feels like criticism. Also, it's just hugely triggering because my mother will "accidentally" touch inappropriately all the time. When my dad was in the hospital my mom would accidentally touch breasts while looking at the nurses' necklaces, or name tags, or would pretend to pick lint off their breasts or rears. She still tries to do it to me all the time and is all shocked and horrified when I don't want to be touched. It is always ALWAYS me who is reacting inappropriately.

And I thought I was really clear that this was not an accidental thing.

Hankster, it's true she was there first, but (1) it was a large area and she didn't need to be standing right exactly in front of my locker. She could have scooted over in front of her own locker. This was at least a 10 X 10 area with only one other person in it, and that person was behind me. (2) I asked nicely if I could get in there. (3) She said yes and moved back from the locker. (4) She moved back into my space while disrobing. Nothing about that is accidental or about me just not waiting my turn. It was about her being in my space.

I'm really having trouble. I no longer have any idea if whether what I'm perceiving or thinking is right or normal or whatever. I need to stop coming back to this. **** it. Whatever.

Evening couch...looks like I missed the naked talk. It's pretty much been exhausted, so I won't join in.

I got 2 extra hours with the senior place today. Then on the way home I got a text from C's mom asking if I was available tomorrow to stay with C. It'll be odd being there on a weekend, but I'll take the extra hours. She said she would leave money so we could go out and get a treat (i.e. - ChickFila or Redberry (frozen yogurt)).

I may also have to cancel with my dad on Tuesday...the senior place said today they may need me Tuesday. I would rather work there than with my dad. A lot less stress. But if not...working with my dad is worth the money. Sure I'd have to work more hours at the senior place than I would with my dad for the same amount of money...but the senior place is easy work...I can read a book while there.

Your life is a real-life Seinfeld episode! "I bet they're spectacular! "

T went well! We talked about the traumas, but it felt more laid back of a session though. I needed it. No T next week since he is going on vacation. It will be a week an a half and when I see him next, I think we will have everything ironed out as far as going to the place of the trauma.

I'm sorry MKAC if I in any way contributed to your feeling attacked. The discussion just made me think about my reaction to locker rooms and nudity.
I also get having a mom that doesn't respect boundaries. Until very recently, whenever I would go visit her and my step father, she would insist that we (she and I) sleep together...because she missed me so much...and she wasn't always sleeping fully clothed...yuck...and she always finds a reason to end up in the bathroom changing in front of me...WTF?!? So I do get that some people are really intentionally crossing boundaries. But I do think that for most people it is unintentional.