appointment with pdoc today

had an appointment with pdoc today.

was in tears before I even went into the office. Very depressed.Things going very badly. Nightmares, ect. Losing jobs left right and center because i keep crashing.

She noted that there is disconnection in when i express myself - I will be in tears but then she will say something and I am smiling a huge smile while crying. She noted my dissociation.

She is going to try to get me on disability for about a year so that we can really start getting into this stuff. Im scared. To death. Just want to sleep.

I dont want to become the useless person on disability - but she says that with disability there is funding for me to attempt the things i love - like my art and writing, and that they will help me to find a job where I can excel without overstressing myself.

Wow, I can understand your reluctance but can also see the potential for growth. And the chance to eventually find a job where one can excel without overstressing sounds very appealing to me. The road to get from today to that place will be long and hard, but you will have pdoc and us here at PC to help along the way. When I'm faced with change, I have to remember to breathe and to be gentle with myself.

((((((((((((((((Rainbowzz)))))))))))))))

Elizabeth

thank you one and many. It is a long hard road, but worth it in the end i think.

Don't be afraid... memories can't hurt you anymore...and with a caring T, you can put them in their place!

It sounds like you have a wonderful pdoc that is wanting to keep your best interest as a priority......not just for now, but for your future.

The pdoc is right....without having to worry about working right now, you will be able to put your mind into what is needed to help yourself.

Dealing with memories & nightmares is difficult. Sky is right.....memories can hurt you now, but they can take you back to the time you were hurt which causes the stress to make your life miserable. I have found that anxiety attacks & the pounding heart & chest pains that are associated can be miserable, but they won't kill us even though we may feel that way.

Sleep is a normal thing for our body to want. It's the bodys way of protecting & healing itself. Sleep is part of depression & is good......however sometimes nightmares can come into our sleep & haunt us there. The pdocs can provide meds to help us through the feelings we have & what we need for our bodies to start healing themselves along with being able to talk through our problems.

When you have a good pdoc that you can trust, there isn't anything better that feeling that there is someone that really wants to help us.

Take care & work with your pdoc for your best interest now & in your future,
Debbie