Couch 56...Getting Back to our roots

Its so hard to find preschool programs geared toward boys.... the typical sit down and color program doesn't work well for boys... IME

I fell asleep on the couch and just woke up. I dreamt that T wrote to me and said that since I'm not fully human he can't do therapy with me any longer.

(((APT))) you are human. By the way, I thought of you today. I stopped by Parnassus Book Store, which is this really ancient bookstore in an old sea captain's village. It has outdoor bookshelves, inside it is so cluttered and awful that I can barely look around...but you'd love it.

no, because it isn't !!!

Feeling any better Wiki?

(((wikid))) you totally get me Yes, I would love that.
I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

The outdoor shelves you can buy books anytime...slide the money under the door! lol. They've not had anything stolen (like they could tell!)

More photos here: Parnassus Book Service for rare and collectable books

What a cool place, Wiki! A body could spend days in there, discovering treasures.

Lola, you around? How did your first day of work go?

I'm so sorry everyone is having a hard time. I remember feeling like going away and living in the bush, I almost did when i was 9 but the stupid horse gave me away. Whinnying to the ferals.

I'm stressed I have 3 days til uni starts and our subject outlines aren't on the web and I don't know if I have the right stuff for my illustration course.

Fed the H and got rid of the kid. She went under water for the first time in the lake today. She said "I want to see the bottom" so I said, "okay, hold your nose, close your mouth and take a peek". She did! Several times actually. She was so excited. She is really starting to swim too. I wish she would stay 3 forever. That really brightened my day. Knowing that I am the one she decided to "trust" to help her go under. I am honored.

My day wasn't awful either. I did a lot at the wildlife clinic. I taught some baby gulls to dive for fish. I played with a squirrel who is a bit too friendly. (bad wiki) I watched the techs use bubbles as enrichment in the raccoon enclosures. They were really nice to me, and the externs and techs treat me like I am one of them, including me in fun stuff.

I had to drive a weird way home because the county fair is going on and all the main pathways are bumper to bumper...so I had to drive by the Native American burial ground, and there was a ceremony going on. My head started doing it's thing and the next thing I knew I was lost. I had to pull over and get the gps running to find my way home. The kid was in the backseat saying "auntie, why are you crying". I really need to talk to someone about what goes thru my head when I see this stuff. I know that tonight will be sleep-little nightmare-big.

Had terrible dreams about T abandoning me last night, the bed is a mess.

(((BPA)))

we cross posted.
Sorry you are going thru so much.

I love you pic Wiki just about in all pics of my brother and I we are both looking scared or crying. As we get older the pics get better.

It doesn't seem so much compared to others.

Thanks bpa. Yea, I actually don't have any bruises that I can see either. It was taken when we went to AZ for two weeks to visit my aunt. Much needed breather from the hell hole. We went there once.

gads...NEVER compare. NEVER. it's all relative.

lol You sound like my T. I am starting a new therapy soon where apparently memories and emotions are processed in a more relaxed (i can't think of a better word at the moment) but I am sure there are memories I do not want to remember at all. I'm sure there is something there that SHOULDN'T be remembered.

Evening couch.

Well...my dad did not behave himself this morning. I thought he was going to, but on the ride back to his shop after measuring he made rude comments that I was fat and that no school would hire me because my weight shows that I don't take care of myself. What an a s s. I'm not fat. I only weigh 150 lbs. Sure I am short (5 foot even), but still 150 is not that much. It's not like I am obese. And even if I was...I doubt prospective employers would look at that as negative. My father is such an a s shole.

C went well today though. His camp leader walked him out to my car under her umbrella because it was pouring down rain and she didn't want him to get wet walking to my car or me to get wet opening the door for him. I hate driving in the rain, but luckily it cleared up as I approached his dad's house (where he goes on Wed).

Wiki, racoons paying with bubbles sounds cute.

Lola, how did your first day go?

As far as wanting to live alone as a child. I dreamed about that all the time and my parents weren't abusive to me...only to each other. I can also remember writing letters to teachers in elementary school saying that my parents didn't love me and asking if I could live with them. I'm surprised no teacher I wrote to looked into it...they would always just tell me that they knew my parents did love me and that I should be happy with the parents I had. I actually ran away a few times, but I was stupid and only went to the hedges along the back of the back yard fence and was always found.

Anyway change of topic. How are you feeling these days? I thought of you when i made a sweet potato cous-cous saladthe other day.

The hugs button has disappeared again. So hugs to you squirrel.

mmmm...sweet potatoes!

((squirrel)) your dad is an a ss. It's a doctor/nurse's job to tell us if we need to loose weight, not a parents. I would NEVER comment on my kid's appearance or weight. My job is to love them, nurture them, console them and teach them how to survive out there in the painful world.

wtf. the hugs buttons are back. This forum really does my brain in sometimes.

Hey couch peeps.....

My assignment finished wayyyy early. It was supposed to be until 8:45 PM and instead finished at 7 PM. Chatted with the other interpreter for about 20 minutes afterwards and then headed home. The migraine situation was improving too.

As soon as I got in my car, I started getting that super sinking feeling. *sigh*

The friend that I visited with briefly the other day contacted me earlier today asking if I was able to stop over for coffee. I told her I was suffering with a migraine and had to do an assignment but that I would touch base afterwards. Part of me says that I should stop over there to visit with her, as it may help me not sink further. Another part of me says I need to get moving with cleaning this house cuz I have family coming over on Friday. And yet another part of me says EFF this world, EFF this life, I am going to go to sleep and hope I don't wake up.

Decisions, decisions...