Beginner Psychotherapist; afraid of crying

I really appreciate everyone's genuine feedback :-)
Of late I have settled myself down for a lot of self reflection. Throughout my life I have always been very focused, very scientific and have always pushed myself. For the first time I have stopped and now have started to really address all that I might I ignored in the past.
I have started to look for a therapist, and I do know couple of very good ones. However am approaching this a little slowly, feeling so hesitant every time I think about saying that I am worried about this or that thinking that may be an being thankless. yet I need to take this plunge :-)

I feel confused though, I mean this is what I think that if I can't handle someone crying it must be that I lack empathy. Yet I volunteer at this shelter house for girls and I absolutely love them, I always feel great working with them.
I never felt this way before like this tensed to have someone cry in my company, I used to do okay. But off late I really have sort of started to distance myself emotionally. Functioning more on intellectual level rather than emotional. I wasn't this way before, and hence the choice of career because it used to come naturally to me. But I guess the more I delve in it the more I realize that without learning how to share myself I can't share what someone else has to offer.

That's a great reflection stuffed. It seems like you DO have empathy, but you don't know how to empathize.

Sometimes when someone else is crying it can make the bystander feel like they're failing that person, is that how you feel sometimes? If so, it's totally logical to feel scared about failing potential clients and then maybe closing yourself off. Are you a perfectionist?

I think going to therapy will be great for you - you'll learn a lot!

There's nothing wrong with focusing on the side of clinical work that doesn't involve working with patients directly btw.

I challenge this It must be claim. Tension regarding crying could come from your childhood, for example, rather than from a lack of empathy. I have had that experience myself: the mention of crying made me feel anxious because I myself cried a lot as a child and received a lot of grief for it.

Yes, the plunge looks very promising for you. Difficult, but promising.

When you start going to therapy, be sure to let the T know your reasons for being reluctant.

Stuffed, you sound like a lovely person and i think you have the makings of an excellent therapist. I think a lot of therapists find it hard when people cry because the natural reaction is to want to hug them or soothe them in someway and a lot of theory says a therapist should sit there and allow the client to go thru the process WITH the therapist and feel "held" in the room, given space to cry and physical soothing can interrupt the process. That's not an easy thing to do; to sit there while another human is in pain.

It sounds like you have quite a bit of your own work to do in therapy which i think you'll find so worthwhile. You will learn so much from that and it will be invaluable to your career and to you as a person- it's a win win situation.

On another note, i would NEVER go to a therapist if i knew they hadn't been thru their own therapy. Simply because if they've never been the client how can they truly know how it is to sit there and be vulnerable. If they haven't faced/acknowledged their own demons, then how do i know that they won't bring their stuff into my therapy? How can they know the therapeutic relationship and process if they haven't experienced both sides of the coin?

That resonated so well with me, it literally hit me!!! This is so true!!!! It's like a puzzle piece just clicked. Because that is the first thing that flashes through my mind how do I comfort this person. I guess further on training will teach that but I just feel awkward sitting their, like am invading their privacy, now I know that am not, I also know my silent acceptance is what this person needs, I just can't seem to let my body know that it's OK at times not to do anything and let the person be.
But thank you so much for that, I guess it brought things to surface :-)

I so agree with this and this was the exact reason I sought counselling during my undergrad, it was not a requirement but I knew for me to be fair in my profession I have to understand how it feels to be sitting on the opposite end. I unfortunately had the most scarring experience although it did teach me in the long run what things not to do in a session so may be even that was not so unfortunate :-)