Why does your T hug you?

You said it was wrong and shouldn't be allowed. That was what I was going off of. You said, "I honestly think hugging a t is wrong and shouldn't be allowed!" So, that was the part of your post I was talking about.

Yes but in my opinion. Look, this is such a touchy subject for me and maybe you should get over yourself and try and understand some of us don't share the same views. If you don't like what I said, ignore me. I sure as hell haven't slammed you for anything you've said so leave me be and accept I feel differently and it's just my opinion after being abused by my ex t who nearly ruined my life. Back off from me.

In a professional environment there are certain things that could easily be out of line and for some hugging is far too personal for a professional relationship. I for one agree that there is a limit to the amount of intimate touch that should happen in a doctor/patient or Therapist/client relationship.

I believe that hugging is great for Therapy when needed, it can be a powerful healing tool.

Yes but it's just my opinion after what I went through and wouldn't want it for anyone else! There are so many unethical t's out there and while I am sure there are many that are ethical, I personally don't see it as a setting for something as intimate as a hug. In my mind, totally in my opinion, it isn't right. But if you are comfortable with it, good for you, I am happy for all those that benefit. I am not going to comment anymore. So please move on, as will I.

I live alone and my partner lives 2.5 hours away, my kids are grown and gone, I live in a new city and have no close friends and people don't hug in a business setting. With all that said, I wish my T would hug me as I think people need physical touch. I can go weeks without as much as another person's skin brushing mine so I would like a hug, sometimes so bad I'd hug a stranger. We all have different situations, needs, desires etc. I asked for a hug once and it was awkward, so I never asked again... but I do miss just getting a hug.

there are exceptions to any rules but in general i don't think it's something that should be part of therapy. Again there are cases when it's acceptable but it should be at best on a case by case basis.

No.
She used smile and say, "I know you think I'm being cruel."
She did that all the time when I was hurting.
I'm sure someone has an excuse for her behavior.
She enjoyed her petty torments.
If there is an explanation for it, then I didn't consent to an uninformed process.
You can tell when someone loves mind games.

To be fair I rarely ask a Therapist for a hug, I have yet to ask my current Therapist for one.

So I am going to put aside your exT for my reply, because from some of your other posts there seem to be other things that show she wasn't a very good T.

Asking someone for a hug is NOT kissing their butt. It's expressing your need. People cannot read your mind.

Ts are supposed to offer support, but there is nothing anywhere saying that they should offer a hug, and I would think that a lot of them wouldn't offer hugs because it's so often crossing a boundary. Touching is probably one of the easiest ways to cross boundaries. They MIGHT offer one if they got a sense that the other person was a huggy sort of person - like... no one would offer to hug me really, because my body language displays that I am NOT a huggy person (I've usually got my legs up in front of me and/or have my arms crossed. When I'm standing I've either got my hands playing with my pockets/purse, or crossed or other such things that make me inaccessibly to hugs).

I feel sad for you though, that you seem to expect people to read your mind and automatically know what you need or want? No one can do that, and you'll always be disappointed and think that your thoughts are correct....

I do this and people try to assault me with hugs all the time. I don't think it is a given that all or even most huggy guys pay attention to the body language of the unhuggy guys. Even the first therapist I saw would hug me although my arms were crossed etc.

No, not all, but a lot!

When my T and I discussed hugging, he told me that he will never offer a hug, even though he knows that I would likely be open to one. There are a variety of reasons for that. One is that I need to learn that it's okay to ask for what I want from other people and not expect them to read my mind and know what I want. Another is that he would never want me to feel any pressure to hug him and an offer might feel like pressure. A third is that offering might be more about his needs than mine.

She hugged me (sometimes) because I asked her to.

My T has never touched me. I have never told her its okay, because I am afraid of her not wanting to hug me or something.

No hugs going on in my session! I'm not complaining about it at all...quite frankly for me personally I don't know how I would feel about a hug from T. I like to imagine that I would be okay with it and allow myself to feel some warmth but because of my history and because of the heavy duty transference that is going on right now I'm not so sure I could deal...having said that I am hoping that down the road maybe I will be open to hugs from my T. ( IF she even gives hugs).

I dont think a hug would help me..in fact it could well make a mess of a still trust building relationship with my T. When he told me that he would have to sit right next to me if we start EMDR therapy...I kind of freaked out. This was a surprise to me....so lots to talk about there.

I am glad for those that give and receive hugs in therapy...I could imagine it beign very beneficial.

I think hugs would make me stressy and unhappy. Letting the therapist into my head is quite enough - it's like I've used up all available intimacy and a hug would overstretch me.

Weird, cause I'm very comfortable with hugging friends. Absolutely fine with those acquaintances who zoom in for hugs as well. And I'm very tactile with all my lovers - if they aren't enthusiastic about cuddles then they don't become a lover, period. Living the life of a nun this last month, I definitely crave those cuddles, but don't really care whether I touch anyone else or not.

Lol...
Don't feel sad for me.
I dont expect people to read my mind.
But, after 3 years of therapy as intimate as it gets after that long with a t, she should be well aquainted with my history and needs. Ya think?

My T MAKES me ask for what I need... some kinda of Jedi trick I presume.

I'm similar to you, although for me it's family members who I don't like to hug and not my Therapist.

my last t asked to hug me. i think because it was our last session. i just stood there frozen and non-receptive while she hugged.

I wanted my last Therapist to hug me after our last session but she declined it

This thread keeps popping to the top, and it's been making me think about my T and hugs. My T has never offered a hug, I've never asked. When I first started seeing my T, I made it very clear that I didn't want to be touched. I still have issues with touch. BUT, sometimes, I wish my T would offer a hug or even just spontaneously hug me. I know that's not going to happen, because she knows how uncomfortable hugs usually make me and she can't read my mind to know that it would be okay in particular instances. Then, I think more about it and decide it would totally make me uncomfortable if T did hug me.

I'm so conflicted about the whole hug topic. I wish I had the courage to discuss this with my T!

A gentle reminder: Please remember to be supportive to one another. Thank you very much.