[ShrinkPatient]

When I found out yesterday that My T is going on vacation for the last 2 weeks of October, I think I regressed by at least 30 years. I'm being a baby about the whole thing. I want her to go. She needs the break I'm sure. I truly want her to relax. I just wish I wouldn't be missing 4 sessions. I'm already anxious about it. She said she wants me to email and that she would have time to talk with me on the phone. Part of me is absolutely relieved that I'll still be in contact with her and part of me just wants her to go away and take a complete break from me. I hope I can bring myself to turn down the phone checks. I think she's a little worried because once when she went away I ended up EDed in the psych ward. It just can not happen this time.

It makes me feel worse when I know so many of you don't get to see your Ts as often as I do and 2 weeks would be a piece of cake for most of you. I still have 3 sessions before she goes but I almost want to skip the last one because I have no idea what shape I'll be in. I rarely cry in front of her. I may even end up acting like an insolent little brat. What a horrid way to part that would be. OMG!!! I still have almost 2 weeks of "leaving anxiety" before I have to face the 2 weeks of "left/gone anxiety".

Sorry to ramble!!!!! I'm such a basket case!!!!

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[likelife]

Could you ask your T for some kind of "transitional object" to help you maintain the connection while she's gone?

I understand the anxiety. I used to experience it too.

[ShrinkPatient]

Originally Posted by likelife

Could you ask your T for some kind of "transitional object" to help you maintain the connection while she's gone?

I understand the anxiety. I used to experience it too.

Lol... I have a teddy bear she gave me over a year ago that I treasure. Yes, I'm 38 and sleep with a teddy bear.... Maybe I'm actually 4.
If she weren't so darn supportive I wouldn't miss her so much. Just being in her presence alleviates (and to a lesser degree causes) so much of my anxiety. However, I've been skipping the hugs at the end of my sessions. I don't think I'll let myself do that for my next 3 sessions. Allowing myself to be hugged will help some. I hope!!!!

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[ShrinkPatient]

Originally Posted by likelife

Could you ask your T for some kind of "transitional object" to help you maintain the connection while she's gone?

I understand the anxiety. I used to experience it too.

I was thinking about asking my PDoc for a referral for massage therapy so my insurance would cover it and trying to get set apts up for the time I'd normally be in session. I thought it might relieve some of the anxiety and also help me not to ruminate that I'd normally be sitting with her in session at that time. Is that going too far? Would that be completely ridiculous and out of line. I'd sound like an idiot wouldn't I?

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[likelife]

Originally Posted by ShrinkPatient

I was thinking about asking my PDoc for a referral for massage therapy so my insurance would cover it and trying to get set apts up for the time I'd normally be in session. I thought it might relieve some of the anxiety and also help me not to ruminate that I'd normally be sitting with her in session at that time. Is that going too far? Would that be completely ridiculous and out of line. I'd sound like an idiot wouldn't I?

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Has your pdoc written referrals for you in the past? I don't think it's ridiculous at all. I'm just wondering if he/she would balk at the idea.

It seems pretty common from what I read on PC for people to engage in some kind of self-care activity while their T is away. I think it's great that you're thinking ahead about how to take care of yourself.

[purplejell]

I can totally relate... I saw my T today and she's going away and it brought back a lot of childhood stuff for me. I do try to plan something else for the time I usually see her... I think some kind of self-care is good. It's a weird kind of paradox... I felt like not being attached to her and pulling away. But letting myself have the feelings and talk through it with her actually makes me feel better about her going. Not completely better, but at least I told her what is coming up for me. My T is only going for a week... sometimes how it affects you is more about where you're at in the process, than the actual length of time they are going for.

[ShrinkPatient]

Originally Posted by likelife

Has your pdoc written referrals for you in the past? I don't think it's ridiculous at all. I'm just wondering if he/she would balk at the idea.

I've never asked her for anything before. However, I was recently released from in-patient after a suicide attempt and she's really been trying to address my anxiety. Since my anxiety will increase because my T will be away, I think she'd probably be willing to do it. I'm just worried that after I leave, she'll pause for a moment and think how pitiful I am.

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[likelife]

Originally Posted by ShrinkPatient

I've never asked her for anything before. However, I was recently released from in-patient after a suicide attempt and she's really been trying to address my anxiety. Since my anxiety will increase because my T will be away, I think she'd probably be willing to do it. I'm just worried that after I leave, she'll pause for a moment and think how pitiful I am.

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On the contrary, I imagine she would feel reassured that you are making sure to take extra good care of yourself. It shows a lot of resourcefulness on your part.

[ShrinkPatient]

Originally Posted by purplejell

I can totally relate... I saw my T today and she's going away and it brought back a lot of childhood stuff for me. I do try to plan something else for the time I usually see her... I think some kind of self-care is good. It's a weird kind of paradox... I felt like not being attached to her and pulling away. But letting myself have the feelings and talk through it with her actually makes me feel better about her going. Not completely better, but at least I told her what is coming up for me. My T is only going for a week... sometimes how it affects you is more about where you're at in the process, than the actual length of time they are going for.

I did admit that her leaving does make me anxious, but I doubt I'd be able to go much deeper then that as I try to avoid emotional issues. Lol I don't know how much she's really aware when it comes to my emotional reactions because I usually minimize everything. I'm guessing she knows this to some degree.
I agree it's way more about where you are in the process. I've never felt this anxious before even when she had left for longer due to family issues. Also, I'm already anxious when in the past, the anxiety wouldn't come so early.

I hope you find some way to comfort yourself aw well. I thought I was the only one that felt like I needed to "fill the void" with something that I might feel comforted by.
Thank you for your post!!!

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