couch 63 the fall line

This is where it would be so helpful if there was a way to replay feelings...(this is from another thread I read a while back)... like if there were a way for a person to remember how they feel on medication and how they feel off medication so that they could feel the differences...

i think once on it is easy to forget how bad you felt before and then go off of it..

Thanks, SD.

I like the perspective of trying to figure out where the fear is coming from....It's a fear of being inadequate, less than, a screw up....fear of feeling humiliated....by who? The owner of my agency, for one. Freezing on stage is another one. When I get self-conscious or struggle with an interpretation, I tend to have very physical reactions (that are obvious to others) - and I freeze.

I have a T session today, so I am going to explore this....even though it takes me away from my 'real work'.

Thanks, RTS. I will continue to weigh the pros/cons. Luckily, I see T today so it will surely be a topic.

MUE - from a perspective situation - is it an audience of mostly hearing impaired? If not, remember most people won't be watching you or understanding what you are doing. I am not trying to be dismissive of the role of interpreter, but most of the time I don't notice anything about an interpreter because it it not something I look for or need to pay attention to.

Thanks, granite. And you're right. I know I've missed opportunities as well because of fear. And you never know what could have been gained if you don't take risks sometimes. I need to be ok with being scared - but take that fear and DO something productive with it - by preparing. Thanks.

Good point. When I had to do a 'on stage' assignment at a local college (even though I told the agency I don't do 'platform interpreting', not ready for that), I was caught off guard, not knowing that was going to happen. It was helpful to focus on the fact that only a few people would be paying attention to me. Of course, it happened to be the instructors and head of the ASL program. That was intimidating to me, but I got through it.

Interpreting in front of the owner of the agency, my sister and my niece (who are in the field and are typically very critical of me) are the things that scare me the most in this line of work.

Thanks, everyone, for your amazing feedback. It's really helpful.

#1 to me is an acknowledgement of the other's feelings it is not an apology and is not meant to be an apology.

#2 is an acknowledgement of wrong doing and an apology.

While #1 is nice to hear in other words it reflects back what you are saying and lets you know the other person hears you. It does not in any way shape or form say the person would do anything different.

Without applying a scenario to it... is that how you would interpret these different phrases?

RTS - I would not interpret the phrases the way you do.

so do you see the 2 phrases as saying the same thing SD?

I do.
But then most of the time subtle differences in that area is not my strong suit.

Hmmm... to me one is saying it was my feeling and the other is saying it a fact...

I'm not a big believer that people can make other people feel a certain way.

Okay PButoon so are you saying a person can treat a person a certain way but can't make them feel a certain way?

I am not either. But to me the two statements could very well mean the same thing from the speaker without the speaker having analyzed each word to determine maximum effect.

Correct. A lot of it for me (as an adult) is my interpretation, what I choose to focus on, and my reason for choosing to interact with the person.

For me, though, if I tell my husband when he does X, I feel Y, and then he REPEATEDLY does X, I think I am justifying in thinking he is trying to make me feel Y. Especially if there is no good reason to X in the first place, other than trying to make me feel Y.

From the sound of it, I think that may be similar to the situation with Ready's husband as well.

I'd probably chalk my husband's doing X being due to some flaw within him (can't remember, his own issues getting in the way, not understanding why it is so important to me) & then try to decide if it was worth continuing to interact with him or not.

Generally I assume with most people that they do what they do because of something internal within them - not because they're considering how it would affect me. Even if someone says "I did X to piss you off...." that's still stemming from some kind of mental illness on their part, making them want to hurt people. It's still not directed at me.

I don't think it matters what the other person is trying to make an adult feel. The adult still can choose to feel it or not or choose to take action that will take them out of the interaction all together.

I just signed up for a continuing legal ed class. One of the sections is titled: OPERIAS ASINUS TUUS -- Which translate to "Cover your a s s." I think that's really, really funny for some reason.

This wasn't about my H trying to make me feel a certain way... or me interpretting it that way.

I don't believe people purposefully cause pain or injury in others (for the most part). Most people don't think "I'm going to do X because it will hurt Wiki". More likely they simply think "I want to do X so I will do it". You give people too much power when you let them have control over what you feel. That's my opinion though. I seriously couldn't handle it if I had to think how EVERYTHING I do would make H feel. That being said, I do make sure that in some things I always put H first.

Ha ha ha....so funny. I need one of those classes. Cept I need a big COVER because my TUUS is getting bigger by the day.


Back from cardiologist. He was cool. I didn't like what he had to say, but I will give him credit for wanting me off of prednisone. SO...we shall finagle a few meds and see if I can drop it. Would be very cool.

I

Seriously though, (and this is probably just a hot button issue for ME) if someone you loved was already suicidally depressed, and said to you, "when you do X, I feel like you don't care what I think at all, and I get that much more depressed and it's really hard for me to not kill myself," would you really keep doing X and just say that your loved one CHOSE to feel depressed and suicidal about it?

(((MKAC)))
Absolutely I would stop what I KNEW I was doing that hurt them. I would do anything I could to help. But if X is something I've been doing regularly for the past 30 yrs, it may take me some time to rid the behavior altogether. So, if I accidentally do X once in a while, it isn't because I want my loved one to sui.

ETA: and, I wouldn't be sorry that I did X, but I would be deeply sorry that loved one felt hurt by it.

AND ALSO....I am assuming X is a benign thing and not say, stabbing loved one with a machete repeatedly.

I don't think we're talking about the same thing. I don't really consider suicidal and depressed to be feelings. I tend to classify those as mental illnesses. Feelings are things like sad, happy, angry...

I feel like you don't care what I think at all <-- To me, that's the point at which interpretation is happening. Sometimes people just aren't capable of doing any better due to their own issues. That definitely happens a lot in my family.