[Daeva]

Therapist wise, which do you prefer, the same sex as you or the opposite? Which do you work best with?

Mine is the same sex, (Both female) and we have really bonded, i feel like with my own issues in the past a male therapist would be bad for me and I certainly wouldn't be able to open up to him!

[stopdog]

I choose to see women therapists who are straight and older than I am. (I am lesbian and this keeps down the chance of accidentally running into each other in real life).

[LadyShadow]

Thanks for this question!

I don't know but when I first started with this therapist, I was really quiet and fragile because he was a man and I am a woman.

But as the years went on, its been 7 long hard years full of ups and downs, he has gotten to know me, and a lot of things I have questions with (the male mind) he was able to explain to me so I could see things clearly.

I don't think I would have been able to get as much knowledge from a female therapist.

[Wren_]

I've had a female T before; and found I work better with male T's so stick with them now

[yoyoism]

I had a male psychiatrist and things were fine with him. The meds were working, anxiety and depression was low - we didn't talk too deeply about things, but I got better.

Female therapist now, no need for meds as I am no longer depressed. Just talking, sharing much more than with previous male T.

I think different situations call for different Ts.

[growlycat]

I fight with female t's so male t's for me. (i'm female, prefer older males. you're thinking daddy issues, you might be right)

[anilam]

I'm young(ish) female and prefer older males (20yr difference- no sex transference-I hope). Nobody would have guessed- given my history and issues - but it works just fine. The way I see it I got hurt by male I need to see not all males are that way- I do over generalize quite a bit . Plus I'd hate the coddling I imagine I'd get from a female T- tried one and she was terrible- kept using the bird with broken wings metaphor -now where's the barfing smilie when you need one

[RTerroni]

I am male and I like having female Therapists the most, preferably ones who are fairly close to me in age (within 10 years or so).

[Nerak67]

I am female. My first t was female and my mother's age and my current t is male and my age. I quite quickly attached to both of them which makes me think maybe I am just so needy I will attach to anyone who pays attention to me? I like both dynamics. If I were looking for a new t don't even know which I would prefer.

[HealingTimes]

I am a female and have always been female Ts.
I did see a couple of male psychiatrists though, and much prefer females.

I am female and prefer a male T. I've tried going to female T's before and they just drove me nuts with their pitying and self-disclosing. Just couldn't stand it. My male T's have been straight-forward, have never treated me like I'm broken or like I should be felt sorry for, and they have had much clearer boundaries.

[A Red Panda]

Female. My T is male and he's around my age.

I usually find males easier to talk to. It doesn't feel as pressured to me, and I can usually just share what I want without undergoing an inquisition. Plus... I feel like emotion and sympathy is more genuine.

I know that it's silly, it's just how my own patterns in life have gone. So I'm fine with having that in a therapy setting. I just don't do well with overly affectionate people.

[ThisWayOut]

I have always wanted a female t, I never felt comfortable in the presence of men (thanks dad and the asshat men in my life). I've found that even among female t's, I have gotten ones I click with and ones I don't. My t before this one was a male, and it worked ok to get past some of my issues of fear with men in power, but I did not successfully address the things I really needed to in the past year. I find it harder to be more open with a male t. I would now be less adverse to working with a male t, but would not go searching for one.
Lesbian female t's are a bit tough if we happen to run in similar circles, but it's also helpful with some issues (the question of sexuality because of male issues never comes up). So far my t's have always been respectful if we bump into each other in public (or our social circles) - one of us leaves the group for the night.

[unlockingsanity]

I've seen both male and female therapists, but I prefer men, which is the opposite sex of me. My Pdoc is female though and she is super.

[stopdog]

I do better with women than men in general about anything important. I have some male friends and colleagues but interaction with them is either playing sports or more surface in some ways even though I am often their confidant and they tell me their problems or worries. There are certain types of both genders that I do not get along well with.
I interviewed a couple of men this go around and found one to be a total condescending jerk and the other was the most overly emotional sensitive new age guy I think I ever met. And he was the most emotional/squishy therapist I ever interviewed. Neither was for me.
The women I see as therapists (and have seen) are not emotional, warm, maternal or fuzzy.

I am female, and the only two Ts I have ever 'clicked' with have been male. I tried two female Ts, one was sort of okay, but too inconsistent for me to trust; the other was a disaster for me (actually ended up yelling at me and was quite harsh). I tried a female Pdoc which was also a disaster. The male pdoc I saw later didn't believe me at first when I said she didn't like me, but then got her records and apologized for doubting me. LOL. His comment was, "wow, she REALLY didn't like you." I tried one male T who I disliked, but then started with my current T (male) who is a good match for me.

My life experience (in 'real' life and in therapy) has been that men are more reliable and more trustworthy, less prone to big attitude swings, less emotional and less apt to suddenly turn on me with no warning. In the last few years, I have met and made friends with women who are reliable and who I trust, but that is a relatively recent phenomenon for me.

[healed84]

I am a female and have only had a Male T.. I sometimes wonder if having a female T would make it more a friendly, girl talk relationship. That might work for some, but I appreciate with T, that we have our commonalities, can have some chit-chat, but in the long run he is my T and not my buddy..

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by healed84

I am a female and have only had a Male T.. I sometimes wonder if having a female T would make it more a friendly, girl talk relationship. That might work for some, but I appreciate with T, that we have our commonalities, can have some chit-chat, but in the long run he is my T and not my buddy..

Well the reason I think that I prefer Female Therapists is because I believe that they understand me more (I'm Male BTW).

[Mike_J]

There are some things that I just couldn't be 100% open with talking to another man. So for me I need to see a female therapist.

[tinyrabbit]

I am female and wanted a male T. I had a bad experience with a female before, and also I like the 'otherness' of my T - he can't imagine how something would feel as his body is different to mine. Plus I have an ED and I think I would have issues with comparing myself to a female T.

I have to say it has been immensely helpful and healing to have this kind, safe male figure given I've had so many issues with men.

Originally Posted by Mike_J

There are some things that I just couldn't be 100% open with talking to another man. So for me I need to see a female therapist.

Yep, same here. There are things that are always going to be out of bounds when I talk to another woman - anything to do with sex, or my body, or relationships. I could never discuss those kinds of things with a woman, not in real life. And staying away from those areas at all costs is not necessarily good for the process of therapy.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

Yep, same here. There are things that are always going to be out of bounds when I talk to another woman - anything to do with sex, or my body, or relationships. I could never discuss those kinds of things with a woman, not in real life. And staying away from those areas at all costs is not necessarily good for the process of therapy.

Same here which is why I prefer a Female Therapist over a Male one.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Daeva

Therapist wise, which do you prefer, the same sex as you or the opposite? Which do you work best with?

Mine is the same sex, (Both female) and we have really bonded, i feel like with my own issues in the past a male therapist would be bad for me and I certainly wouldn't be able to open up to him!

I haven't had a woman therapist, since I was a pre-teen. Not even sure, if by choice or availability. I go by, who's available under my insurance plans. I've had men therapists, most of my life.

[laughattack]

I am a guy (male).

My current T is a female, very attractive, and one who I knew if I opened up to I would probably fall for. I did (partially because I'm extremely lonely in life). She has a vibrant personality and our rapport has been, overall, terrific. There are things I can talk about with her that I was never really able to talk about with any of the handful of male therapists I've seen at different periods of my life. Opening up and entrusting myself to this female T was, and in some ways still is, challenging for me. But she's been very good for me, and I know she's helped me with different topics that I had never discussed in depth with male therapists.

That said, I am not sure how long I can stay with her, and I am interested now in going back to a male T. The transference or just plain feelings for female T was and remains so strong, I want a break from that. In fact, I already have a new, male T who is my vocational T. So I currently have one of each gender. There is still lightning in the room when I am in session with female T, and yes we've talked about it. With male T, it is easier or more comfortable because that romantic /sexual attraction is not an issue. But with female T, transference issues involving other females in my life crop up, so I value that. But I like them both, as therapists.

I've never felt comfortable with female T's. My present T is male and I work far better with him than with the females I have had. btw I am female. But it could have beenn that the females Ts in the past have been significantly older than me and my present T around my age.