CHECK IN THREAD - How are you feeling?

blur · Oct 11, 2013, 06:03 PM

feeling much better today as my plumbing disaster was fixed for a nominal charge. yea!

Wren_ · Oct 11, 2013, 06:18 PM

contemplative and possibly over thinking things including regarding therapy

FirePhoenix · Oct 11, 2013, 08:28 PM

Feeling pretty awful myself. Trying to keep myself online and distracted, so tonight doesn't end up like the last couple of nights... But I don't think I'm going to be so lucky. The past couple of nights, I've been trying to keep a journal (my T keeps mentioning it and asking if I had one, so I figured I'd try), but the first night it turned into me crying and writing a suicide note, and last night I ended up staring at my preferred method of suicide instead of writing. So I'm frustrated that writing is supposed to help release your emotions and make you feel a bit better, but it just brings them out and intensifies them. I'm also annoyed at my T for kind of treating me like a child, and having assumptions about me from my counseling my parents...

Yet again, not a good night.

photostotake · Oct 11, 2013, 08:51 PM

FirePhoenix- I'm sorry you're having such a difficult night. Please try and take care of yourself.

FirePhoenix · Oct 11, 2013, 08:55 PM

Thanks - I'm trying to. I'm just frustrated my T isn't giving me any sort of coping skills or goals for between sessions. I have to get back to my life soon (I'm on a short-term medical leave from work), but I'm not any better. It's just frustrating, and I don't know how to handle that frustration.

photostotake · Oct 11, 2013, 08:59 PM

Exhausted. From pretending to be ok, when I'm really not. Feelings of failure are always there. Feels like I'm always fighting against my eating disorder, yet everyone tells me how well I'm doing. Feel like I'm just holding on waiting to see t again on Monday.

Nighttime is always the worst.

growlycat · Oct 11, 2013, 11:23 PM

Disappointed in myself. Missed exercise routine today. I'm backsliding.

CBT T doesn't get back for 10 days and I need his encouragement.

Aloneandafraid · 12:52 AM

Exhausted - emotionally and physically. Sleep deprivation! Only managed 4 hours for the last 4 nights. I am so tired and have the worst headache ever. Why can't I sleep? I have so much going on in my head, emotionally abusive time so I guess that's probably why. Wish I could see T over the weekend!

healingme4me · Oct 12, 2013, 01:56 AM

Can't wait for my upcoming therapy appointment. I'll need to print up, everything.

I don't, even deep down, believe a word these people say about me. Doesn't mean, I don't need to seek therapeutic relief, for the stress it causes me. Are they pushing to make my illness, triggered, the MS is triggered by stress, are they doing this purposely, I now wonder.

After all, she stated she is smarter than me. I'd politely disagree.

Oct 13, 2013, 01:29 AM

I feel horrible.

That's all.

Oct 13, 2013, 01:41 AM

I'm pissed off with some stupid students right now, but it will pass.

rainbow8 · Oct 13, 2013, 01:58 AM

I thought I'd go to sleep early, actually got into bed, but couldn't fall asleep for over 2 hours. It's now almost 2 a.m. and I'm VERY tired. I checked to see if T opened the ecard I sent her but she didn't, so I read PC for awhile.

I need to get my allergy shot tomorrow, and maybe my flu shot too. I wish I could fall asleep.

Blue_Bird · Oct 13, 2013, 02:55 AM

Pretty good, I met my new T and things went well. She recommended a book that I ordered today, it's supposed to be very helpful. Having a nice day. Meds are finally working.

3velniai · Oct 13, 2013, 04:13 AM

Trying to be a good girl and not disturb T on her F**** VACATION. Hate vacations. Hers. Mine are a good thing, of course

SkinnySoul · Oct 13, 2013, 07:24 AM

Like crap.
Maybe I'm not meant to get better. Maybe my destiny is to die like this. Miserably, painfully, alone. *****.

ar2004 · Oct 13, 2013, 07:50 AM

Feeling scared about my next T appointment which is in two days. I was tested for ED and BDD last time so my T will probably have results. Plus she wanted me to track everything I have been eating and I am scared to show her how little that has been.

Lamplighter · Oct 13, 2013, 08:05 AM

Just got back from a couple of days away and like always when I've been away I DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE! I mean at home. It just feels so claustrophobic and like a prison, and everything seems so dark and gloomy and depressing and I feel trapped. Really trapped

junkDNA · Oct 13, 2013, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ar2004

Feeling scared about my next T appointment which is in two days. I was tested for ED and BDD last time so my T will probably have results. Plus she wanted me to track everything I have been eating and I am scared to show her how little that has been.

i had an eating disorder. im pretty much recovered now but it was very difficult to break through the obsessive patterns and need to hide it. i think the thing that makes eating disorders so bad is that it starts out as a secret disease and it becomes very personal to you. i think the fact that you struggle with it alone most of the time gives it way more power. so for me getting support was the best thing. and agreeing to myself and others that i wouldnt keep the secret anymore and take accountability for my actions. hiding the symptoms and thoughts only feeds the beast even more. letting go and saying these things out loud really helped me on my path to recovery. i think if you are seeking treatment you at least partially want to get better and its hard to sacrifice these things but inorder to recover you have to do some uncomfortable things

Oct 13, 2013, 03:22 PM

hurting
hurting
hurting
hurting
hurting

tealBumblebee · 02:41 PM

T session check in:

Pretty good session. We were able to talk about surface deep things that i'd hesitated to tell her before - and I realize, my thoughts seem so much less dangerous or stressful or depressing when I can explore them with her.

blur · Oct 14, 2013, 05:05 PM

a bit overwhelmed. i think that is a feeling. life is suddenly busy and i am feeling stressed trying to get everything done. yesterday i avoided dealing with everything as i sort of crashed and today i need to get back on the wagon. i'll be glad when i'm over this hump.

Blue_Bird · Oct 14, 2013, 10:46 PM

Pretty good today, I'll be getting some workbooks to go along with my therapy so that should be helpful and interesting

dulcebear · Oct 14, 2013, 11:10 PM

My T has prostate cancer and had it removed today. I got a text from his co-worker that the surgery went well. I texted back asking if it had spread and I didn't get an answer. I texted again, still no answer. I'm afraid it spread and that is not good news. I never want to get close to anybody ever again. I'm done with therapy.

Lamplighter · Oct 15, 2013, 11:07 AM

Last session was a waste of time and money, today's went well. So why do I feel like **** still? I need a brain transplant

LoneWolfie · Oct 15, 2013, 05:16 PM

Excited and happy I guess. Got notification from the ministry of transportation that the forms sent my psychiatrist for me to get my license back has been approved. Will be getting my license in a few days, it has been 16 months since the last time I drove.

I feel overwhelmed I have been waiting so long and don't know how to feel.

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CHECK IN THREAD - How are you feeling?

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