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#652
Apr 05, 2014, 07:39 PM
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t is leaving Again in a couple days
 her visit went by so fast and i am so sad. she is sad too, she doesnt want to leave. we have had so much fun together and super long sessions and did a lot of hard work. its going to be so hard when she goes
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 Anonymous43209, growlycat, Lamplighter, tametc
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#654
Apr 06, 2014, 01:38 PM
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Eating whipped cream. Feeling crappy. Yesterday was my birthday and other than people posting on my wall it was no different than any other day. No cake. No presents. Nothing. My roommate didn't even say happy birthday till that afternoon and we were together all day. It makes me just feel like I don't matter. Is it dumb? I mean, I'm only 22
I'm not too old for birthdays am I?
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| Anonymous43209, growlycat, Lamplighter, tametc
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#655
Apr 07, 2014, 08:37 PM
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Desperately sad
T is leaving again. We both cried
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| Anonymous43209, growlycat, Lamplighter, tametc
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#657
Apr 07, 2014, 10:58 PM
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pretty ripped open just finished an extremely rough session *sigh*
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| growlycat, Lamplighter
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#658
Apr 07, 2014, 11:17 PM
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Guilty. About everything. Lather, rinse, repeat.
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| Anonymous43209, growlycat, Lamplighter, someone321
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#659
Apr 08, 2014, 02:58 AM
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Rubbish. Everything seems to be turning crap and piling up on me. Awful situation with T with the inevitability of having to quit, getting more and more rejections for my writing, noise becoming a major issue again, and I'm feeling so alienated from people that everything they do and say just winds me up more and more.
All of it feels like major rejection, over and over and over again. Can't see being able to feel good again, ever. In fact, can't remember ever having felt good
__________________
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Josef K, for he was arrested one morning without having done anything wrong. (The Trial, Franz Kafka) Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind |
| growlycat, someone321, tametc
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#660
Apr 08, 2014, 03:01 AM
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Awful. Dreading everything. Can't shake this bad feeling. Vulnerable. Judged. Alone. Hideous. Needy.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
<3Ally
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| angelicgoldfish05, growlycat, Lamplighter, someone321, tametc, Wren_, Yearning0723
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 angelicgoldfish05
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#661
Apr 08, 2014, 08:42 AM
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Depressed......I don't know why it has gotten worse in recent times. I can't seem to escape it. It is especially bad when I am alone (early morn and late evening). I can't understand why this is so.
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| angelicgoldfish05, growlycat, Lamplighter, someone321, tametc
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#662
Apr 08, 2014, 08:15 PM
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Getting really panicky and anxious now that the shock is wearing off. Constantly fighting back tears and overcome with urges to engage in self damaging behavior.
__________________
"Beneath the dust and love and sweat that hangs on everybody / there's a dead man trying to get out..." |
| angelicgoldfish05, growlycat, tametc
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#663
Apr 08, 2014, 08:15 PM
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Feeling guilty about my behavior towards old T...I mean, obviously I should take the notes with a grain of salt since they were just her personal perceptions of me, but the number of times she noted, "RB criticized LE" or "RB made a critical comment towards LE" makes me feel very ashamed of myself.
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| angelicgoldfish05, growlycat, Lamplighter
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#666
Apr 08, 2014, 08:39 PM
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My allergies are giving me fits today. I may rub my eyes right out of their sockets. Spring has sprung I guess. Time to start up the allergy meds again I'd say.
I saw my pdoc today. Nothing out of the ordinary. He really is the best though. Nice guy. We were commiserating about our sons graduating--mine from high school, his from law school. Both completely wrapped up in their women  . No matter the age and stage of life, as parents we always worry about what's coming next.
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| angelicgoldfish05, growlycat, Lamplighter
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#668
Apr 09, 2014, 12:01 AM
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Feeling like a F***-up. Yay trauma-reenactment!
  .gif "Sad Girl")  
__________________
"When it's good, it's so good, when it's gone, it's gone." -Ben Harper DX: Bipolar Disorder, MDD-recurrent. Issues w/addiction, alcohol abuse, anxiety, PTSD, & self esteem. Bulimia & self-harm in remission |
| growlycat, Lamplighter, tametc
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#669
Apr 09, 2014, 05:40 AM
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Panicky...not sure why.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| AnnaBegins, growlycat, Lamplighter, tametc, Wren_
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#670
Apr 09, 2014, 05:47 AM
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a bit scared, a bit crazy. a bit hopeful, I have bipolar II
Today I emailed my boss and asked to have the rest of the term off on sick leave. I usually teach part time (one and a half days per week) but I have't been coping with this lately. I have been overeating heaps. and just read an article on binge eating and bipolar. I also stopped smoking again two and a half weeks ago but just bought a sneaky packet and have had three smokes today, my husband doesn't know that , Ive taken my meds and will be asleep soon but just checking in tonite |
| Anonymous43209, growlycat, Lamplighter, tametc, Wren_
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#671
Apr 09, 2014, 05:48 AM
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Remembering, that I need to reschedule. Moving. After April break will be the resched.
Third time maybe a charm, back 'home'. need to get my rosaries over here. Hence, one part, my long time nickname of affection. Loca. Girl, you so crazy. My being here, oft drives others....crazy  Loca, gringa loca... Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
| Anonymous43209, growlycat, Wren_
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| Lamplighter, monista
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#673
Apr 10, 2014, 02:42 AM
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a bit confused but at the same time calm...
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| Lamplighter
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#675
Apr 10, 2014, 04:24 AM
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Already taken anxiety meds and still can't get myself to go to bed.
I can't stop stressing about my session this Friday. I refuse to waste anymore time and know I have to start saying exactly what I mean and exactly what I need. What if she rejects me? What if I become too much for her? I can't get close to people and I hate it. I know it is what I need and i just don't know how to do it. I feel crappier than crappy. I wish I could make all of this disappear. I wish I knew exactly how the session is going to go on Friday. I have barely eaten anything this whole week and today could not even keep food down. My stomach is in knots and I have no appetite. When I do eat I'm full within 5 minutes. At the beginning of this week I was up for 36 hours straight at one point. My life feels out of control right now and I need the help so bad. |
| AnnaBegins, Anonymous43209, Lamplighter, someone321
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| Closed Thread |
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