[Nerak67]

I am so anxious about my appt in 5 hours that I can't work and my stomach hurts. I am anxious because after last week's appt I had a crazy email meltdown of neediness which he never responded to. I'm nervous about what his reaction is going to be.

He usually always tells me how he loves working with me and looks forward to seeing me but now I think he isn't going to give me those reassurances anymore. They really felt good.

I'm just afraid he sees me differently and not in a flattering way.

Oh boy.

[purplemystery]

When something like that happens, it's always easy to let your mind get out of control with worry that this time, things will be different. This time, your T will finally see you for what you "really are." But I think it's helpful to think back to all the times you worried about the same thing and your T didn't react negatively. Ts understand that we have highs and lows. It's okay to have a meltdown now and again. Good luck with your session, and I hope it goes well. Please let us know what happens.

[Nerak67]

Originally Posted by purplemystery

When something like that happens, it's always easy to let your mind get out of control with worry that this time, things will be different. This time, your T will finally see you for what you "really are." But I think it's helpful to think back to all the times you worried about the same thing and your T didn't react negatively. Ts understand that we have highs and lows. It's okay to have a meltdown now and again. Good luck with your session, and I hope it goes well. Please let us know what happens.

Thanks. I know I catastrophize. This is a relatively new t and this was my first meltodown or display of neediness. We don't even really talk about feelings because it is hard core cbt so I am afraid he won't handle it as well as other therapists. We'll see.

Thanks for the encouragement!

[purplemystery]

That does complicate the issue a bit, and I do see how that is especially nerve-wracking since it is a new and CBT-T. It's tough when the T doesn't know you as well, so they may not have a clear sense of who you are yet. But I still think the same thing applies. I'm sure your T has experienced a similar thing many times from others.

[Rzay4]

How did it go?

Fingers crossed that it went well.

[Nerak67]

He made no reference to any of it which was a relief. I'm not sure what feelings he thinks I have for him but if he's aware of any transference he doesn't want to address it which is fine with me. I want to stick to the cbt with this t.

But I am going to have to behave myself and not act on my needy feelings.

Thanks for asking.

[ultramar]

Even though he didn't bring it up, I really think it would be a good idea for you to. The e-mail issue has become a part of the therapy whether either of you wants it to or not, and I don't think the issues of feeling too 'needy' or trying to get your needs met through these types of e-mails is going to go away. It's not about 'misbehaving' and possible 'punishment' it's about learning how to get your needs met in ways that will be effective and beneficial to you. I think this would be a good thing to bring up and work on rather than ignoring the elephant in the room.

On the other hand, maybe it will be worked on less directly, in different ways, and there's no need to bring it up. But if e-mail continues to be a problem, I hope you do.