[sweepy62]

I have this analogy with my t which I made up and told her about many months ago and it goes like this: we own a plane , this plane is the therapy room, she is the co pilot and I am the pilot. Every session is a 50 min flight. We fly to uncharted islands.

We fly at low altitudes, and the weather varies from partly cloudy to mostly cloudy to stormy and we experience turbulence . Turbulence meaning feelings and emotions , on my part , and air pockets which equals dissociation .

I been disclosing shameful CSa stuff to her, but I haven't gotten to alot of stuff yet that is more shameful. I want to ask her if she wants to continue flying with me , being that this pilot may space out and she may have to take the wheel or land this plane at times. Is this lame?

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[Leah123]

I believe it's an excellent analogy! I love metaphors in my therapy, I find they make it so much easier to clearly communicate sometimes.

I just had an episode where I wish my copilot had taken over for a brief spell as I hit some massive turbulence, thunder-storm level, and I could have used an analogy like this!

[sweepy62]

Thanks Leah I just want to give her a choice if she wants to continue with me because I have alot more embarrassing stuff to disclose and it will be turbulent event air masks coming down lol

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[Leah123]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Thanks Leah I just want to give her a choice if she wants to continue with me because I have alot more embarrassing stuff to disclose and it will be turbulent event air masks coming down lol

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LOL. I *never* thought I would laugh about last week- I spent four days in the worst anxiety, triggered state I've been in in 20 years, but yet thinking of myself hyperventilating, then reading your post, I had to laugh at the thought I could have *seriously* used those air masks!

Anyhow, I wanted to add- the stuff that is hard for us to breathe through isn't nearly so traumatic or difficult for therapists to listen to. If yours has been practicing for any length of time, she'll be used to your kind of disclosure. Sure the details will be somewhat different, but she has heard scary, embarrassing, painful, cruel, awful things before. Even a new therapist has lots of training around all these things. Sad but true, CSA is very very common and hearing about and working through other embarrassing things like sexual fetishes, sexual addictions, other addictions, disorders, relationship explosions, extreme habits, etc. are all an expected part of a therapeutic career. Hang in there! Don't parachute out yet! I'd be shocked if she wanted to.

[sweepy62]

Thanks you have made me laugh so much

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[lrt1978]

I agree that's a fab metaphor, when I am struggling I go into metaphors like this in my experience my T as always understood me and what I wanted to say and it's always had a positive outcome.

I would defo put this to your T xx

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we really like it a lot! ♥

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I like the analogy also and I agree with what Leah said. Our T's aren't nearly as ready to quit us as we think they are. And they really have heard it all.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I like the analogy also and I agree with what Leah said. Our T's aren't nearly as ready to quit us as we think they are. And they really have heard it all.

Thanks for the reassurance I am going to throw this at her today, as lately I have been on the tight rope of indecisions on whether to quit or not, so I will let you guys know what she says, this whole disclosing thing is making my organs feel all chopped up inside.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I do know the feeling. I had some things that I knew I needed to disclose but doing it was just awful. Finally I was able to write it down (that was hard in itself) and read it to my T (with my back turned to her as I couldn't bear the thought of looking her in the eye). When it was done and I got home I slept for 16 hours. But it's out there now and such a relief to have it done. Some times the anticipation of doing a thing can be worse than actually doing it. I know it's difficult, but I have a feeling that if you can get it out there you'll feel a whole lot better. Good luck to you and know that we are with you in spirit.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I do know the feeling. I had some things that I knew I needed to disclose but doing it was just awful. Finally I was able to write it down (that was hard in itself) and read it to my T (with my back turned to her as I couldn't bear the thought of looking her in the eye). When it was done and I got home I slept for 16 hours. But it's out there now and such a relief to have it done. Some times the anticipation of doing a thing can be worse than actually doing it. I know it's difficult, but I have a feeling that if you can get it out there you'll feel a whole lot better. Good luck to you and know that we are with you in spirit.

georgia, I have stuff written down in my notebook in the (past) section, I just cant get myself to read the more intimate stuff, I have read some stuff, alternating words here and there, because I have problems saying some words related to csa, but there are way more intimate stuff in my notebook, but your idea sounds good, maybe I can turn my chair around, I will think about that, but I m not ready to disclose that part yet. I think I might just jump out of my virtual plane before then lol

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Sweet, can you make a copy of what you have written and give it to your T to read when you are not there? Would that be too scary? Then you wouldn't ever have to say any of it, but your T would still know.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

Sweet, can you make a copy of what you have written and give it to your T to read when you are not there? Would that be too scary? Then you wouldn't ever have to say any of it, but your T would still know.

that would be great with one major PROBLEM my t does not believe in reading anything, she wants me to verbalize everything at my own pace, she wants me to connect with my emotions and feelings and talk, with t1 her colleague i wasted my time because i was with her a year, but the last 4 months of disclosing csa was done in writing, never spoken, t1 read it asked questions and i nodded yes or no, so t2 believes it was never processed.

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

verbalize everything at my own pace

I find this is so critical: disclosing will always be uncomfortable in my opinion, though it can also be a great relief, and gets better over time, but I think the key is to stop well before you get to the abandon ship feeling. You can do it when it feels difficult rather than when it feels like you can't survive it! It won't be easy, but it doesn't have to feel impossible if you pace yourself.

Hope it goes well!