[IndestructibleGirl]

And did it hurt?

So, in session tonight my therapist suggested I come for three 2 hour sessions between now and Saturday. I think basically because I don't get feelings in the office, I have lots of thoughts, but I only really get feelings afterwards at random times, so she thinks it'd be a good idea to push a little more. I think it's to see if I can manage to 'let her in'. I'm not entirely sure what this means I'm certainly letting her in way more than virtually anyone else on the planet right now. I think this probably has to do with vulnerability * shudder *

I am extremely, extremely grateful to be given the opportunity. I think I'm also keen to do it and meet the challenge (because I think it will be exhausting) because it feels very pro-active. Being an inquisitive sort of person I'm also curious to see how the process evolves in that time.

Can't deny, though - I am afraid. Not blind panic or anything, but afraid nonetheless. I'm scared in case its a disaster and I can't thaw out more or whatever and then I'm scared in case I actually DO thaw and get smacked over the head with a tsunami of pain that will be witnessed by somebody else and therefore more real, and my abject misery will be seen. *****.

What is intensive therapy like? Long or short term? Is it difficult?

[tametc]

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

And did it hurt?

more or whatever and then I'm scared in case I actually DO thaw and get smacked over the head with a tsunami of pain that will be witnessed by somebody else and therefore more real, and my abject misery will be seen. *****.

What is intensive therapy like? Long or short term? Is it difficult?

I've done therapy in the past where I was going twice a week for a total of anywhere from 2 1/2 - 6 hours per week. It was helpful for me during those times, because I had so much going on in real life, plus was experiencing a lot of flashbacks and new memories related to past abuse. I actually did this type of work with three different therapists at various times. I trusted each of them, and they were also available if needed for brief phone calls between sessions. It did help me to get to the feelings, because it seemed that so much of the first hour was me getting comfortable, and talking about the current stressors, that I really needed the extra time to open up.

It was difficult, but it would have been more difficult at the time without it. I tried to be gentle with myself during those times especially, because therapy in itself can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Think of it as deep soul surgery, which requires intensive care support.

You might find that having a compassionate witness (therapist) to support you will make it less overwhelming than you expect. I don't remember the exact saying, but it's something about having 2 to share an experience can double our joy, and halve our pain.

Plus, it takes an awful lot of energy to hold back a tsunami; it might be a relief to let some of it out. I can relate to how you feel; I used to be afraid that if I ever started to let things out, it would overwhelm me and never stop. But it didn't work that way, and I can say now that it's been worth the journey.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well.

[Leah123]

I've been doing therapy like this for most of eleven months now. It's challenging to bear the emotional intensity sometimes, but so very helpful and productive. It facilitates emotional openness and trust and pinpoint emotional hotspots in my life and work on them. I agree about just taking extra good care of yourself and also, I think it helps to be mindful of my strengths during these periods as focusing so intensely on the things that hurt/need fixing can be agitating after a while.

we go for 3-4x a week for 2-3hrs at a time and though it is exhausting we get so much accomplished with virtually no time in between to think so we can say it has benefitted us greatly ♥

It is my favorite way to do therapy and find it very helpful.

I had intensive therapy for attachment issues. I had long standing SI, but I just need to get my kid out of high school before I could end it all. I didn't trust anyone and did not believe I had any value or worth. I hated myself because of messages way back when,and even now from family of origin. It was easy for me to make friends, but I would back out of friendships because I didn't feel I contributed to the relationships. I also had a few family secrets weighing me down that if told would change the face of our happy family presented to the world.

I found a family therapist, because my child and I were having issues that did not make for a happy home. Luckily, she realized that I was hobbled together only for my child, and there was not a firm foundation. I was shocked when she said she would be available 24/7, except when she was sleeping. At times I used post from this forum — much to the distress of some members — to prove that I was too much, because I shared some of the same thoughts, issues, etc. as other PC folks. She worked out of her home so my driving past was a non issue for her. It helped remind me she was still there even though I could call text or schedule an emergency appt. at anytime. My average appts were 2 1/2 hours, three to four times a week, and then a family session that was exactly an hour. My kid was not giving her one extra second of his time. I chose to tape my sessions. Some of my appts were 4 plus hours. The one thing she always tried to do was put me back together before I left, and with one or two exceptions it worked. In the beginning I would have to go home and sleep long hours like a newborn. There is research out there on the need for sleep. After I shared something from PC with her I scheduled my first cry session on a Saturday. After so many people distrusting there therapy I thought I finally had a person that I could trust.

Therapy was intense and painful. I still had to live everyday life. Many times I felt raw, but because she would hold my hand, hug me, kiss my forehead, etc. I rarely left feeling like my body was left opened up without anesthesia on a surgeons table. I could call whenever I wanted, she always got back to me. She has no cell phone. I became a prolific email writer, more than 1500. I probably had written no more than 30 before that. I prided myself on being a Luddite. I could have as many appts. I wanted per week. Two Decembers ago I saw her everyday for a month to prep for going home for the holidays. It worked. It worked this summer and this Christmas I had the tools to be me — a person that I now believe wholeheartedly has value and worth.

The intensity got me out of therapy in 18 month, not a lifetime like I thought. Three months on my own and I am doing well, even with some major family of origin issues going on. I am grateful for the unnamed stuff that I was suppose to get as an infant, and didn't my therapist freely gave, and the tools that helps me in my life's purpose. I'm still in progress.

I hope you will take your therapist's offer. It is the rare few that gets to experience this, and for some like myself I know it works. Different strokes for different folks. Best wishes to you, IndestructibleGirl.

Also, I want to say, at some point this summer my computer was compromised, and things were attributed to me that had no truth whatsoever.

ETA: One of the first post I took to her was about boundaries. She said there were no boundaries. I told her she was lying. Someone here wrote a lot emails to her therapist in one day and lost that right. I sent 33 emails one day, and she responded. She was not upset with me. She really hated me to be on the forum, because she felt I was using it to not get better. I'm still on vacation so I have a few more days till I checkout again.

[growlithing]

It is very helpful and very wonderful to experience but AWFUL to end. Granted, my time with LCM T was more intensive them that, but it's still the same idea.

I saw my old T (who I'm getting back with on Thurs!) twice a week for an hour and it was significantly better for me then only once a week.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I find it to have been extremely helpful. Everyone is different. For me, I feel it was the only way I would ever open up. It sped up the process of trust and comfort. Now I am to the point where, if I feel low, I could curl up in a ball and cry the entire time I'm there. She usually just talks the whole time, attempting to bring some comfort and hopefulness for the future.
I am really able to show my emotions without any discomfort or hesitation now. I never cry in front of anyone- I hate it.

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

And did it hurt?

So, in session tonight my therapist suggested I come for three 2 hour sessions between now and Saturday. I think basically because I don't get feelings in the office, I have lots of thoughts, but I only really get feelings afterwards at random times, so she thinks it'd be a good idea to push a little more. I think it's to see if I can manage to 'let her in'. I'm not entirely sure what this means I'm certainly letting her in way more than virtually anyone else on the planet right now. I think this probably has to do with vulnerability * shudder *

I am extremely, extremely grateful to be given the opportunity. I think I'm also keen to do it and meet the challenge (because I think it will be exhausting) because it feels very pro-active. Being an inquisitive sort of person I'm also curious to see how the process evolves in that time.

Can't deny, though - I am afraid. Not blind panic or anything, but afraid nonetheless. I'm scared in case its a disaster and I can't thaw out more or whatever and then I'm scared in case I actually DO thaw and get smacked over the head with a tsunami of pain that will be witnessed by somebody else and therefore more real, and my abject misery will be seen. *****.

What is intensive therapy like? Long or short term? Is it difficult?

[IndestructibleGirl]

Thank you all so much for your replies! I am so glad that people have found intense therapy to be so helpful.

Had my first two hour session this morning, and it went well I actually FELT AND EXPRESSED SOMETHING IN THE ROOM! (Anger, towards an ex) My T said she hasn't seen me that animated before, and that's when I realized what had happened and at first I was like OMG I lost control for a second. But then I was like, well, maybe, but it wasn't so bad So, for me that does feel like a significant step. Even though with friends I'd have no problem getting angry/ expressing it about that particular thing (my ex) with my T I think I've been extremely heavily guarded because we dig into graver, grimmer material than simply a twat of an ex boyfriend, so I've been constantly braced against letting the faintest whisper of rage or pain out. But now, maybe as I've relaxed enough to express it about this one issue, it could possibly be a step towards expressing it about other deeper wounds. I guess.

We've arranged now that we meet everyday until Saturday. It takes my breath away how generous and amazing my T is, I couldn't even find the words today to convey how much I appreciate her. 'Thank you' just doesn't feel like enough.

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

Thank you all so much for your replies! I am so glad that people have found intense therapy to be so helpful.

Had my first two hour session this morning, and it went well I actually FELT AND EXPRESSED SOMETHING IN THE ROOM! (Anger, towards an ex) My T said she hasn't seen me that animated before, and that's when I realized what had happened and at first I was like OMG I lost control for a second. But then I was like, well, maybe, but it wasn't so bad So, for me that does feel like a significant step. Even though with friends I'd have no problem getting angry/ expressing it about that particular thing (my ex) with my T I think I've been extremely heavily guarded because we dig into graver, grimmer material than simply a twat of an ex boyfriend, so I've been constantly braced against letting the faintest whisper of rage or pain out. But now, maybe as I've relaxed enough to express it about this one issue, it could possibly be a step towards expressing it about other deeper wounds. I guess.

We've arranged now that we meet everyday until Saturday. It takes my breath away how generous and amazing my T is, I couldn't even find the words today to convey how much I appreciate her. 'Thank you' just doesn't feel like enough.

I am so happy for you. Remember to be kind to yourself.

[Leah123]

I'm glad you went for it and found it productive! One more note to help you normalize it: the standard for psychoanalysis is frequent sessions, like three times a week, ongoing, for years, so while that's too expensive for most people, it's certainly not unheard of or considered harmful, it's just intensive work that I think can have intensive results, just like an exercise program.

Now that you're doing it, I'll mention it's really helpful to me to try and get a little extra rest because the sessions can be tiring, and also try to treat myself a bit, just small things like a cup of hot chocolate or watching a funny movie to help me balance out the hard work and have something to focus on along with the difficult topics of therapy. Also, like I mentioned above, I sometimes feel a bit like a yarn ball of problems getting untangled, so I do also have to remind myself of my strengths and remember it's a positive thing to be so aggressive about working through my issues instead of looking at it as just being problem-ridden and not able to cope, haha. That it's brave to look so intensely at my life and rework it.

[precious things]

My T and I just did a few weeks of daily intensive therapy ( including weekends and the holidays) . I've been with my t for nearly a year and the experience brought us even closer together...I was interacting with T on a daily basis more than my own family and it helped squash all the anxiety I have entering a session (I get worked up no matter how happy I may be to see T) and I think we got to see another side of each other that we don't normally see in the confines of an hour or two a week....and as an unexpected result I have been pouring out stories and feelings that I never would have thought to share....it definitely helped create a deep trust/ bond on both sides. The hard part for me has been switching back to our regular schedule but we still have had daily contact since then (ie quick text here or email there) - I thought it would be harder to decrease but I think I came away internalizing T's care so much, that I am able to hold him in that space without needing to be in the therapy room.

My t and i often do marathon sessions of 5-6 hours and we get a lot accomplished. When i we t to visit her last year we spent all day every day together for two weeks. That was awesome and so helpful.

[ready2makenice]

I feel like my intense sessions,were just that intense. But seeing my T twice a week instead of once was making a difference. I was getting a lot more done and coping a lot better. Even though sometimes I had to drag myself in,it was beneficial. I felt like I was getting a lot of help.

Will possibly be starting up twice a week again.

Originally Posted by invisible butterfly

we go for 3-4x a week for 2-3hrs at a time and though it is exhausting we get so much accomplished with virtually no time in between to think so we can say it has benefitted us greatly ♥

Wow, that's a lot, is it expensive even when you do therapy in bulk?

[elaygee]

I get explosive. 2x a week for a total of 3 hrs works. I added an extra 1 hr session once while in crisis amd it was awful. I like time to process and simmer, which requires time and space away from the person who is pissing me off.

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Wow, that's a lot, is it expensive even when you do therapy in bulk?

actually we are SO SO SO fortunate in that she works with us for free there are no words to describe our gratitude thats for sure! ♥