Some of MY therapy program MAY TRIGGER SOME PEOPLE READ AT OWN RISK

TRIGGER and DISCLAIMER WARNINGS:

The following posts have to do with - MY - therapy work with Dissociative Identity Disorder and will also contain copies of - MY - blog entries that explain MY therapy program.

Since it is impossible for - ME - to know each persons trigers on the world wide web what is contained in MY therapy program may trigger some.

And because it is impossible for - ME - to know each persons triggers of every person on the world wide web I leave it up to the readers of my posts to take care of themselves.

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what is contained in this post is -

MY experiences with having dissociative idenitity dissorder

MY therapy program for having Dissociative Identity Disorder

and may contain MY research for MY having dissociative Identity Disorder

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IF ANYONE HAS A DIFFERNET EXPERIENCE WITH HAVING DID AND THERAPY FOR THIER DID THAT IS OK. I AM POSTING ONLY FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF

MY DID
MY therapy program
and MY research for My having DID.

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Since I am not forcing anyone to read my posts should anyone become triggered after CHOOSING to read this post beyond these trigger warnings and disclaimer and I statements, the person reading is accepting repsonsibility for their own triggered reactions and so forth


"I read your post about the sand tray, and I have to tell you, it showed me a side of you that I think would be great to know more of it."

The above is copied from the kudos board and is a post made by Bipol to me.

Using the sand tray is a part of MY theray program.

I was diagnosed as having Multiple Personality Disorder (which is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) back in the 1980's by way of taking a comprehensive Psychological Evaluation with suplimental tests specifically for locating Multiple Personality Disorder.

Here is a blog entry of mine that explains what a Comprehensive psychological evaluation is -

How is DID Diagnosed?
This blog entry is now a part of the psychotherapy message boards in the community area of psych central therefore is now protected by the new guidelines that state the entry cannot be taken to other peoples blogs and websites for disscussion and or copied without my written permission to do so.

How is DID Diagnosed? Can you see the memory of doing the dishes this morning on brain scans, X-rays and so on? I was told by many professionals in the field of DID the answer was No and that -

If someone says they had those types of testing it is because they went to thier normal family physician complaining of loss of memory and a headache and the tests were done to check for tumors, anneurysisms, epilepsy and other non mental health related problems.

A person being diagnosed for Dissociative Identity Disorder is seen by a psychiatrist and or psychologist. (which is my experience with being diagnosed as having Dissociative Identity Disorder)

If the psychiatrist or psychologist suspects Dissociative Identity Disorder (or any mental health disorder for that matter) the psychiatrist/psychologist sets up a Comprehensive Psychological Evaluation.

These tests are done over a space of 8-10 hours and or more. Some professionals do them all on the same day and others (especially if DID is suspceted) these tests are spaced out over a period of daily for two weeks or more.

The tests include:

A face to face interview an hour or more in length, during which personal history is taken. The tester also takes observational information - hygene, mood and other important to the testing professional type information.

IQ - Mathamatics - adding, subtracting, spacial awareness, geometry, algerbra, history, writing and reading comprehension, long term and short term memory recall, specific tests geared for locating learning disorders.

MMPI, DES, DDIS, TAT, Rorshache (ink blots) Scud scales and validity scales tests and other written tests that they feel relevant to what they are looking for.

Once the testing is complete, those parts of the tests that are computerized are sent out to be evaluated.

Once those results come back the psychiatrist or psychologist writes up the written report.

This report includes the history taken and the psychiatrist/psychologist views on that history and observations.

The test scores and the psychiatrist/psychologist views and observations on that,

and then the persons AXIS (diagnosises) I,II,III,IV. and V (otherwise known as GAF)

The last part on the report is the psychiatrists/psychologists recommendations and treatment plans.

Sometimes these tests are repeated yearly to chart the clients progress.

Though it is easy for someone who is DID to hide the disorder by not answering truthfully during the testing, it is impossible for a non-DID to come up as DID by not answering truthfully. The way the questions are worded and repeated and done over a space of time it is impossible for the non DID pretending to be DID to be consistant on the validity scales and so on.

And of course there are certain actions that are not a part of the disorder but have been overdramatized by the media are dead give - aways of if the person is really DID or a DID “want to be.” There are also certain aspects of this disorder that is not released to the general public which also helps in the weeding out the “want to be’s”Original Blog entry date on the original blog server with psych central was October 21, 2005

Original Blog entry date on the original blog server with psych central was October 21, 2005

Since this blog entry is now posted on the community message boards it cannot be taken to other peoples blogs to be discussed and so forth with out my written permission to do so.

Once I was diagnosed as being Multiple personality disordered I went into denial for years and years.

I was forced out of the denial phase when my child was placed in foster care due to my becoming suicidal. At that point I didn't have much time to mess around with being in denial. I had one year to take care of my problems up to DHS standards so that I could have my child back.

At that point I knew nothing about what Dissociative Identity Disorder was and how to treat it. I was in therapy for Suicide, depression, flashbacks and nightmares.

Here is a blog entry of mine that explains what went on during this time in my life and how I ended up back in therapy..

The Label MPD/DID Pops Up Again
this blog entry is now a reply on the community message boards here at psych central. Therefore is now covered by psych centrals guideline that states posts on the community boards cannot be dicussed copied, printed or taken to other sites without permission of the poster.


Staying out of therapy for years and ignoring I needed help for my Multiple Personality Disorder and depression came to a head in 2001. There were alot of factors involved and situations that I was just stuffing and ignoring. The end result was I picked up my son, locked him out of the house and I was going to jump out a second floor picture window - through the glass. Somehow I ended up on the phone. at the same time my son followed my teaching him that if I or anyone else ever tried to hurt him. he was to get out of the house and find someone he trusted - neighbor, friend, or the managers of the complex. By the time my friend on the phone talked me into unlocking the door and going outside my son was by the manager and the manager had a phone in her hand so I yelled down that I needed help. She waved the phone and yelled she was trying her best to get us help. The police came. and the end result was DHS was called. I signed my son into fostercare temporarily (a year later he came home but thats another blog post in itself).

The intake DHS caseworker and I made up a goal sheet. I had to call my primary physician and get back on meds for depression. I called my doctor the next morning at 7 am and at 8am his nurse called and told me to catch the next bus to the office.

My doctor is great like this. All I have to do is call and he gets my son and I right in. Partly because my son has Asthma and is known for stopping breathing and I rarely get sick and when I do its usually bronchytis so he just calls in a prescription. (boy both him and I were shocked when I had cancer. I can’t just get a normal bacterial infection the first time around - its a bacterial infection that caused me to have cancer)

I also had to get back into therapy. The intake DHS worker had a list of DHS approved agencies and so the next day I went down to the office and met with the mental health consultant who gave me the name of a therapy agency.

I went home and called them. All I had to say was I got their agency name from child protective services and I was told to come down the next day for intake. Here I had been on every therapy list for the past few years trying to get my son in because his best friend had chased him with a knife trying to kill him and I had been told “our list is 6 months to three years long” at each therapy agency.

I remember I kept asking this receptionist now telling me to come right down “are you sure theres an opening tomorrow?” She laughed and told me what time to be there.

The next day I met with one of the therapists who took history and so on. A week later I was playing phone tag with the woman who was assigned as my therapist -”SKR”. She called me I was visiting my son. I called her and she was with a client. She called me and I was in court.

Court was a blur. My doctor had started me on Paxil and everything tilted and I just wanted to go to sleep. But I do remember My lawyer telling me we were saying not guilty. I argued with him because I WAS suicidal and the day before my son was put into foster care I had cut myself in front of my son. I didn’t want to go to jail for purgery.

My lawyer laughed and told me it was just the way it was done. Saying not guilty gives the lawyers time to talk and decide what is best for their clients. Neither one thought my being arrested because I was a danger to myself (which is the state and nation wide law on such things) was the right thing to do for me and my son.

Given that I had gotten right into my doctor and had already signed up for therapy that showed the lawyers, and DHS that I was open to doing what ever was needed to be done for both my son and I. So I plead not guilty. and when the judge pointed out that I was actively self injuring and suicidal then asked if arrest or commitment orders were pending both lawyers and DHS said no they were confident I would cooperate with services.

“SKR” and I hit it off from the first second of meeting. I had been seeing her for about 6 months when right before it was time for her to leave my appartment she asked if I hear voices or do things I don’t remember. I thought “oh %#@&#! she’s asking the MPD questions.” I did a quick dodge by reaching for my courage to heal books (wrote by Laura Davis) and said something about them being great books and I was doing some of the questions in it and asked if she wanted to see my notebook on them.

For a week I tried every possible scenerio in my head trying to find a way to drop her since she was getting too close but since I couldn’t legally without problems from DHS, on top of that I really liked her and the next person may not be someone I would like so then I tried to think about not answering her. But then decided - Nope she’s not the type to be avoided very long she would ask her questions again and again until she had her answers. So then I figure ok I’ll answer but in a way she won’t catch on.

When she came for the next appointment I got the conversation on to diagnosis and then rattled off every diagnosis I’ve had putting MPD smack in the middle and I said them so fast I thought she would focus on the first one or the last of the long list. Not “SKR”.

She says “so you have been diagnosed as DID”. I asked her what that was and she told me MPD. I told her “yea but Im not it.”

She looked at me with a smile and said “ok prove it to me”

So I set out for the local library the next day deturmined to prove to her I didn’t have DID. In the meantime “SKR” started doing research on how to help me.

Original Blog entry date - November 15, 2005

Since t his blog entry is now a part of the community message boards posts it is covered by the psych central guideline that states posts cannot be taken discussed copied printed and so forth outside the community message boards with out permission from the poster.

To be continued....

Er...

So if someone takes some of your post...
Pops it into Google as a search term...
Finds your blog...

Then they can indeed make 'fair use' of your blog.

What is this about, myself?

Is it that you were asked not to duplicate what you were saying / responding to here on your blog?

So now you...

Have some compulsion to do it the other way around?

Very interesting reading Myself!

I dont come here to PC very much, so I dont really understand why the need for all these disclaimers ... (I'm sure you've got your reasons though) .... but I am looking forward to reading your future posts!

just following the guidelines of not replying to posts from the community area in my blog. people want my replys to posts in the community area to stay in the community area so that is what I am doing.

Thanks Majella.

as for google and so forth no they wont.

my blog is now accessable to only those that have my passwords for each of my blog entries now.

Which means that anyone that googles and so forth and comes to my blog will see a notice NOT a blog entry asking the reader to enter their password. No password no access to that blog entry.

For more information read my thread called MY Blog Links and advance notice which is in the relationships message board. I had posted it in general but has been since moved to relationships due to content of my last reply.

Post deleted by kimmydawn

Post deleted by kimmydawn

Excuse me for copying part of your posting, MYSELF, but it helps to clarify what I'm directly referring to, ok?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
A person being diagnosed for Dissociative Identity Disorder is seen by a psychiatrist and or psychologist. (which is my experience with being diagnosed as having Dissociative Identity Disorder)

If the psychiatrist or psychologist suspects Dissociative Identity Disorder (or any mental health disorder for that matter) the psychiatrist/psychologist sets up a Comprehensive Psychological Evaluation.

These tests are done over a space of 8-10 hours and or more. Some professionals do them all on the same day and others (especially if DID is suspceted) these tests are spaced out over a period of daily for two weeks or more.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I certainly believe that this is the way YOU were diagnosed. However, it is not necessarily the pattern for diagnosing for DID, as you strongly suggest. If you could please begin to state such items as personal rather than global, I wouldn't have as much trouble with your statements. Someone who is unassuming would believe that your posts set in concrete how things are done. Unfortunately, this is not always true.

As you know the ISSD developed general guidelines for the diagnosis and treatment of DID. It states that an MSE which focuses on dissociation is the foundation for diagnosis. It also suggests using the DES, the DDIS and the structured clincial interview for DSM-IV disorders.

The foundational components related to this diagnostic procedure include a thorough history, direct observaton, differential diagnosis to rule out specific disorders, and a tool (such as the DES) to screen for dissociation.

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what is contained in this post is -

MY experiences with having dissociative idenitity dissorder

MY therapy program for having Dissociative Identity Disorder

and may contain MY research for MY having dissociative Identity Disorder

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***
***
IF ANYONE HAS A DIFFERNET EXPERIENCE WITH HAVING DID AND THERAPY FOR THIER DID THAT IS OK. I AM POSTING ONLY FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF

MY DID
MY therapy program
and MY research for My having DID.

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"How is DID Diagnosed? Can you see the memory of doing the dishes this morning on brain scans, X-rays and so on? I was told by many professionals in the field of DID the answer was No and that"

Meaning everything in that blog entry is MY personal experiences and MY personal research of what I was told.

Glad to hear your experiences and beliefs are different for as previously stated that is ok.

As for my adding my blog entries You have already read and replied to those threads of mine discussing my adding my blog entries on the coomunity boards so I feel there is no need to my addressing your questions on that issue yet again and or in more detail.

Post deleted by kimmydawn

Again not my assumption - if you read my first post you will see the words -

"I have been told by many professionals in the field of DID that -"

If you have a problem with this thread you are free to not read it and my post about MY experiences with having DID and MY therapy for having DID and MY research (which includes contacting professionals in the field of DID and thewir views are with in my posts about my experiences) then please use your ignore Icon and again

Since your experience, knowledge and so forth is different fromm mine that is completely ok with me.

THIS THREAD IS ABOUT ME AND MY EXPERIENCES AND MY THERAPY PROGRAM AND MY RESEARCH.

I am ansering Bipols post about wanting to know more about t he side of me that is about sand trays and so forth.

Marjella -

now you see first hand why all the trigger and disclaimer warnings -

people see and pass right on by the fact that I am talking about my experiences, what I have been told, and how I have been treated for my having Dissociative Identity Disorder and so forth and end up debating right and wrong of MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, THERAPY PROGRAM AND SO FORTH

SKY - take your debate elsewhere. This thread is about ME and MY experiences and so forth.

There is NO RIGHT AND WRONG of MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES bbe that what I have first hand experienced or be that what the professionals that I have been in contact with have told me and so foth

This thread is about ME and MY therapy Program and My research aand how they pertain to ME.

Sure thing MYSELF, I just wanted to try and suggest to you that you make statements about disorders and treatments as though they are textbook, when actually they are really just your own experiences. I guess those of us who know you do realize this is just the way you speak, as though it is gospel, but new members - and we do have hundreds of them - might not realize that fact, and take what you say as THE truth for them also.

TC!

ummm I think "myself" pretty much makes it clear in her disclaimers that what she is posting is her experiences. I do not know how much clearer she can be...so as not to confuse members or new members....

I don't understand why folks can not see that she is saying this is my experience. This is how things happen with me. This is my research... etc.... I am not the smartest person in the world and I see the words clearly, as this is my experience... also she says if my posts upset you, you have the choice NOT to read.. hmm

When I read in the depression forum and some folks may have different feelings or experiences than me, I do not get all bent out and upset. I can say even tho my experiences are different, it does not mean their experiences are not valid... or that my experiences are not valid...hmmmmm

We are all individuals.. Why can't we all be "individual" nuts..

TO NO ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR JUST A GENERAL REMINDER -

THE FIRST POST OF THIS THREAD HAS TRIGGER AND DISCLAIMER WARINGINGS AND IS VERY CLEAR WHAT THIS THREAD IS FOR AND ABOUT.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THEM AND READERS WILL FULLY UNDERSTAND

WHAT IS CONTAINED WITH IN THIS THREAD
AND THE PURPOSE OF THIS THREAD

AND NOT BE UNNECESSARILY TRIGGERED OR ACTIVATED INTO DEBATES OF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG IN THIS THREAD.

I think it is hard because there is some vaccilation...

> If the psychiatrist or psychologist suspects Dissociative Identity Disorder (or any mental health disorder for that matter) the psychiatrist/psychologist sets up a Comprehensive Psychological Evaluation.

That sounds like a universal, factual claim to me. It doesn't say 'in my experience when my clinician's have suspected DID they set up a comprehensive psychological evaluation' or 'sometimes when clinician's suspect mental disorder they set up a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation'.

It is one thing to tag a disclaimer: Talking about my experiences and another thing to go forth and ACTUALLY talk about your experiences.

But: It is HARD. I understand that.

>A person being diagnosed for Dissociative Identity Disorder is seen by a psychiatrist and or psychologist. (which is my experience with being diagnosed as having Dissociative Identity Disorder)

That is pretty good. Better still would be: My experience with being diagnosed with DID was that I saw a psychiatrist and a psychologist.

Thanks ((((((((radioflyer)))))))))

Yes, I think so too alexandra_k.

Myself, we are trying to help you make your posting so you don't need all the disclaimers and whatnot...so that others will feel comfortable reading your posts. That is what you would like isn't it? More ppl to read and understand you and your posting? ((hugs))

You do recall how difficult it makes some feel to have anyone on ignore. I don't think that's the best solution in all cases. It's a last ditch effort to get along imo. I know I really don't like having to have anyone on ignore. I really do want to read what everyone is posting. But it needs to be formulated for the theater it lies in, don't you think?

I know you to be quite intelligent, and I know what I ask isn't too difficult for you, is it? I -and I'm sure others also - are just trying to help you fit in here better. We all can learn from each other, and I think you have much to share, but it needs to be in a way we can accept it, I think.

It is my experiences because I was the one on the phone with the professionals that stated what is in this blog entry that everyone seems to want to tear apart. I was the one writing th e letters and emails to these professionals and so on.

When others in the community state -

I have been told by ..

No one ever questions whether or not what they posted about this experience is true or not universal or not.

I have made it very clear that EVERYTHING that is in this thread is MY answer to Bipols wanting to know more infor mation.

You have different views fine take it elsewhere. this thread is about

MY EXPERIENCES AND MY THERAPY PROGRAM MY RESEARCH AND SO FORTH.

ALL OTHER THINGS WILL NOT BE ADDRESSED IN THIS THREAD.

I statements... Making statements about your experiences... Can indeed be jolly hard. Really very hard. Please don't take this the wrong way... But I've found that the general understanding of 'I' statements on these boards to be fairly... Minimalist...

Myself is really trying really very hard with them. I've noticed that. I wondered why she kept capitalising MY and then she explained it was to emphasise that she was attempting to speak about her experiences and how things are for her.

I could do with getting a lot better with I statements as well. I think it is a really terrific skill to learn and while I try and stick to I statements (as Myself does) it really can be jolly hard...

Maybe...

That is something that we could work on?

I wonder if Dr Clay would help us?

I really do think that everyone is doing the best they can...
But maybe it would help to start a thread on I statements on the self-help forum?

I do not understand what is wrong with the "I" statements... I used "you" once in a post and got my head bit off . I thought we were supost to use "I" statements to make it clear so as to not cause confusion that when using "I" means just that... I... myself...... me....... and not referring to anyone else...

BACK ON TRACK OF WHAT THIS THREAD IS FOR -

MY ANSWER TO BIPOL'S WANTING TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES WITH SUCH THINGS AS SAND TRAYS- WHICH FALLS INTO MY THERAPY PROGRAM AND MY RESEARCH INFORMATION.

I LEFT OFF BIPOL AND MAJELLA WHO HAS EXPRESSED INTEREST IN MY EXPREINCES WITH MY THERAPIST SKR DISCOVERING THAT I HAVE DID.

when we disclosed to my lawyer that I had DID he told us not to discluse my actual disorder to DHS. we were told to just work on it and get it done.

Well I had been hitting the library trying to prove to SKR that I don't have DID and SKR was busy doing her own research on how to help me.

Here is a blog entry of mine that tells what was going on at this stage of my therapy program -

Dr. Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall
Tonight I am going to write about a book that SKR found when she first found out I had been tested and diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) . The day she found out I had steared the conversation to all the different diagnosises I have had over the past twenty years. Then I told her open the DSM IV to any page and I have probably been diagnosed with it at one point or another and started listing some and put MPD right in the middle thinking I’ll tell SKR but in a way that she won’t catch on so she could never say I never told her. SKR was too smart for this tactic and siad - “so you HAVE been diagnosed DID” then to answer my question she told me that DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder is what MPD is now called. They are one and the same. I told her it didn’t matter I wasn’t it and for months afterwards I researched at the local library trying to prove I was not DID.

That of course backfired on me the more I researched the more it pointed to the fact that I had this foot long disorder. So one day sitting in SKR’s office I told her - “Okay I give up I have this so how do we get rid of it before the caseworker tries taking away my parental rights and locks me up in some mental ward?”

Her answer was a workbook she had located called “Amongst Ourselves” by Dr. Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall.

By the way this book “Amongst Ourselves” and the authors are not responsible nor do they run the on line support group called Amongst Ourselves. They - The book and the group carrying the same name are in no way related or a part of each other.

This is one question I get asked often so I thought I better include it here. This blog entry is about the book Amongst Ourselves NOT the support group that happens to be carrying the same name.

Someone SKR knew that works with dissociatives loaned it to her for a couple weeks more from the day SKR gave it to me. I have no idea how long SKR had it in her hands waiting for me to start letting go of the denial phase.

For some of my readers what follows is a repeat of my answers to emails and pms from people who ask about this book and the authors. But please hang in there a moment and keep reading - New info is on its way.

That night I opened this book - “Amongst Ourselves” - and was absolutely amazed. Here was this book wrote by a professional and her partner who had Dissociative Identity Disorder.

The language of the book is wrote in laymens terms wherever possible and when professional language is used there is also detailed explainations in laymens terms what the authors are talking about.

And top that off in this book I was not only being “talked” to by a professional but Karen a survivor with DID was adding her personal touches to the book by including her own experiences with having DID and the healing process.

My first thoughts at looking at the activities included in the book was “WOW!! and I DON’T have to go back to the hospital to take care of this, these activities are all things that can be done on my own AT HOME.

For the next two weeks I didnt learn how to get rid of my symptoms and alters with professional “preaching” and pushing of medications like professionals tend to want to do with putting me on this medication, and upping the dosage and switching the medications when they didn’t work on me.

What I did learn from this book is that I was not crazy and I was actually very special because I was DID. My DID saved me from becoming crazy and possibly saved my life because my abuse situations were separated and stored in my unconscious level of thinking where I would not know about it until I was physically and mentally ready to remember it. DID was actually a very creative thing that my brain did by creating alters of my memories of abuse.

Then I learned how creative and special I was for having DID - Dr. Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall had designed activities for the book where my sense of hands on creativity could be used by making construction paper chains with different colored links to represent my life history, making charts to keep track of my alters (which I call memory pieces), comparing photos of then and now so that I can visually see my life objectively so that I had a visual way of distinguishing the past from the present. answering questions about myself and my symptoms so that I would have a better understanding of what my problems were associated with having DID, and activities geared towards helping me to take care of those problems, and also activities for recognizing the positiveness of my having DID instead of always focusing on the negative aspects.

There is also chapters on how to tell others if you want them to know you have DID and how to go about obtaining therapy, and different types of therapy used for DID like hypnosis, group therapy, individual therapy, medication.

This is also the only book that I found out there not FOR or AGAINST integration. Karen and Tracy chose to leave that issue up to their readers because some people choose integration and others do not.

I have since bought my own copy of this book because I kept requesting it so much from the local library.

I was so taken by this book that I went looking for the authors Dr. Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall. Then I sent them an email with some questions and boy was I surprised when I recieved an answering email. LOL

One day when I was on another on line support group people were asking me for my resourses of my research so that they could also use researching for their therapy process. So I asked Karen and Tracy if it was ok to list their book on my resourse list. I also found alot of the members of the group were interested in the fact that I was charting my alters so I asked Tracy and Karen if it was ok to post some of their book on the on line support groups that I was a member of. I recieved their permission to do so for both.

Well here I am at Psych Central and and as some of you already know you will still find the book “Amongst Ourselves” by Dr. Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall on the resourse list.

Since posting this list on the community’s Dissociative Disorders messageboards here at Psych Central and here on my blog I have recieved many emails and pms asking questions about the book and if Tracy and Karen have a website and how to contact them.

My reply each time has been no website as of yet that I know of, I could not give out contact info without their permission and would be glad to explain how I did the activites.

When I checked my emails the last few days there were more questions about the book and the authors so today I contacted Tracy and Karen and asked if they have a website yet. and why I wanted to know this.

Sorry but but the answer was no website as of yet BUT Karen and Tracy have given me permission to release their email address (es)

Dr. Tracy Alderman can be reached at - DrTracyA@aol.com

Karen Marshall can be reached at LadyKarenM@aol.com

Many thanks Tracy and Karen

SKR and I had the best time with my doing the activities in this book. I never noticed how much of my life was some sort of abuse be it physical, mental or sexual. But the activity of making a life chain out of constriction paper sure gave a visual effect to the concept.

I still to this day do the Charting who is in your system activity. Only mine I do with a binder that way each memory piece has its own section where I have a sample drawing, and writing sample and any information that SKR and I could learn about that piece of memory by looking at th e drawings or by SKR talking to me when I am rerunning that piece of memory.

From there SKR and I really branched out adding more and more things to my therapy program.

The first step was that I was never treated from the separateness point of view that my memory pieces were flesh and blood alters separate from me.

The professionals that she and I contacted told us to

"refer to the alters as -Parts.. and pieces of memories because alters are parts of the persons memories that have been separated during abuse situations. By starting from the beginning of treatment knowing what alters are will prevent more confusiona and denial later on down the road. Treatment for Dissociative Identity Disordeer focuses not on creating more dissociation but on the person gaining more control by the co consciousness and integration process."

I of course hated those words - co consciousness and integreation so SKR changed the wording for me and we did activities that would promote my developing the abilitiys needed for the process of co consciousness and integration.

Post deleted by kimmydawn

And once again -

back on track of what this thread is for -

my answer to Bipol's wanting to know more about the side of me that does sand trays and so forth which is MY therapy program Which Bipol posted to me in Kudos.

ALL OTHER ISSUES WILL NOT BE DISCUSSED HERE FOR IN MY FIRST POST (AND OTHERS AFTER )IN THIS THREAD I (AND OTHER READERS OF THIS THREAD) HAVE MADE IT VERY CLEAR WHAT THIS THREAD WAS GOING TO CONTAIN -

MY therapy program for MY having DID
MY experiences for MY having DID
MY research for MY having DID

SKR and I did alot of hands on activities. for starters we didn't stay in her office for sessions.At first she came to me because I had a broken foot with strick doctors orders to be a couch potatoe. There were many times when I had no choice but to go against that because the DHS caseworker refused to take my broken foot and the fact that I have cerebal palsy and it was taking longer then usual to heal. So SKR and I did what we could by having my sessions at home. It was during this time that I started having a nightmare of a living breathing house- and not just any house but the one that I grew up in - was not letting me out. No matter what door I tried to use, no matter what window I tried to go out of in that night mmare I could not get free. Talking about this nightmare did no good It just kept coming.

One day was reading a published journal by a survivor. In it it said she had a nightmare about some abuse that had happened to her in her childhood home. She made a shoebox version of the nightmare and it faded away.

I told SKR about it and she thought it was worth a shot. But no matter how hard I tried and how small I drew and cut the construction paper I could not fit a breathing house nightmare into a womens size 8 shoe box.

So I gave up trying. Instead I created a scale model of the house I grew up in and then after 6 months of getting up every night and putting one thing new from the nightmare into the house I cut down the outside corner of the house and glued on string to bow tie the walls together. Now no matter what room I was in all I had to do was pull the string and the wall would fall and I was free.

That night that I completed that first scale model house was the last night that I had that specific nightmare for I figured out in doing the activity that I was afraid of going back to that house and afraid I would get trapped into staying there. this t hought was an illogical one because the house had been sold many many years ago so logically I would never be in that house again let along get trapped in it. Once I understood that the nightmare was a metaphore for my fear of feeling trapped the nightmare went away.

SKR and I came up with alot of ways to get rid of that first house - burn it, smash it you name it between the two of us we thought about it but none seemed to fit until pne day she told me a little girl wanted permission to play with the house during her therapy session. I told SKR just give it to her. now that house can bring someone enjoyment instead of pain. Being made of cardboard that house is probably long gone in that childs garbage but Im told she was definately enjoying it when she had it.

I have since made a second scale model house as a containment box for a nightmare that I am presently having.

Here is the blog entry that explains how I make scale models. -

Art Therapy Projects part 1
I had an emal asking me how to do some of my art projects specifically my house project and making Diaramas. Any references to “You” is directed at the emailer. That does not mean others cannot make their own scale model of the house they grew up on.

All my projects are meant to take alot of time to do and are not meant to be perfect.

They are meant to be done from the point of view of the time frame of the project not from the adult logical point of view.

Im told that memories are stored from the point of view of when the situation is happening not from the point of view that something has happened years ago and is just now after the fact being stored.

So when I am doing memory recall work with a focus on using artistic ways to access those memories I push aside the logical present day point of view and not second guess what I am doing. If I am constantly thinking “no that couldn’t have happened that way” or “no it isn’t supposed to look that way” or “a____ couldn’t have been there” or “that person could not have done that” I will end up getting frustrated with the project and also be missing the point of the project - to remember what happened back in the past from the point of view of when it happened. Sometimes memories don’t make sense or it is more on the emotion of the memory. And second guessing as I go along is a sure way to defeat my own memory process of remembering what happened to me, what I saw, heard, tasted, felt physically or emotionally.

So all my projects just are what they are. There is no hidden meaning and no right and wrong they just are what they are - my experiences or my emotions that I felt back then and so on.

Lets start with the house project. The house project is very involved. It takes alot of time. Materials you will need for scale models is -

coregated cardboard. I used boxes that got from the local grocery and department stores on their days they recive their inventory shipments. I opened them up at the seams.

Scissors

glue, lots of glue. I use elmers because it holds alot better then the dollor store brands and right before school starts I can get lots of it on sale sometimes cheeper then the dollor store.

a ream of plain white photocopy/typing/printing paper. (at the least 1 but you may need more depending on the size of your scale model. reams of paper come with a number of brightness on the label. make sure you get the same brightness when buying more otherwise you may end up with a scale model looking like it is different shades of white.

ruler

pencil

water color paints and or crayons and or markers

popcycle sticks if you want your scale model to be take apart able storable.

The first step is to decide what type of scale model you are going to make. For me it was a house, specifically the house I grew up in.

One you know what your scale model is going to be using a pencil draw on white paper your scale model from as many angles as you can.

For my house I drew floor plans for each floor level of the house including where the doors, windows and stair cases were, a view of the house from the front, back, and both right and left sides.

Then I went though my sketches and wrote in the measurements in some cases a very estimated measurment of how high the walls were wideth and lenght of each room, how many stairs I could remember on each staircase. for my present house project I used the measurement of one inch equaled one foot.

I tried to upload a picture but it just isn’t working so on your floor plans write in your measurements of each wall and floor for height width and length.

To make the house take apart able divide the length by three so you will have three equal floorboards. Once you have your measurements using a pencil and ruler measure out your cardboard and cut the slabs out.

then using some glue and white paper totally cover each cardboard slab completely with the white paper.

After the glue drys take popcycle sticks and lay three sticks on each slab in three spots along the long edge of the slabs so that the sticks on one slab match where the sticks are on the slab next to it.

these are going to be “brackets”. For my house each of my brackets contained three sticks.

once you know where your brackets are going to be take each stick and slightly bend it in the middle,

put glue just on the ends (not where it is bent) and place back where you want the bracket to be.

do this with all bracket sticks and let dry.

Once dry slip a popcycle stick through one bracket on one slab through to and into the bracket on the matching slab.

Once this is done with all three of your floor boards turn the boards so that the sticks are underneath and facing you is whilte floor boards.

Along the edge of the floor place popcycle sticks like you are framing a picture on top of the floorboards.

make sure you don’t glue popcycle sticks over the crack where each floor board meets the next one. otherwise your house will not be take a part able.

Do this four times so that each popcycle stick is now four sticks high. These sticks are going to help hold your foundation walls in place.

Now cut out your 2 width boards one for the right side of the house and one for the left side of the house, and 2 length boards one for the front of the house and one for the back of the house.

Make each boards height the same as the height of your house rooms. for my house I made the foundation boards 8 inches tall.

After you cut them out cover them with glue and white paper and let dry.

once they are dry lay boards down flat and on the two short ends of the board make a one stick bracket. and let dry.

these brackets are going to be used to slip a piece or cardboard through and around the corner into the matching one on the next board basically holding your boards together at the corners.

After the brackets are dry place a board on the flooring against the four stick high popcycle sticks and place a thin piece of cardboard through the bracket around the corners and into the next board of each board.

in a few spots along the inside of your walls where they meet the floor place four high popcycle sticks so that they hold the walls up but be carefull not to use so much glue that you end up gluting the walls to the popcycpe sticks. I avouded this by placing a few sticks in one layer then removing the walls to build the stick four high, then when they dried put the walls back in place You now have your house foundation and or basement made.

To make rooms within the foundation or basement do the same process of making the foundation walls using brackets to hold walls together and four high popcycle sticks to help stabilize the walls.

If you dont have a basement place a slab wall half way though in there anyway it will help stabilize the upper floors of the house.

for each floor level that your house has make the floor boards the same way that you made the floor boards of the foundation.

For each floor level for the outside of the house make the wall boards the same way as you meade the foundation - basement with one exception do NOT “frame” popcycle sticks on the floor boards along the outside edges.

Make brackets on your walls close to the edge where the floor board meets the wall. and in the floor boards of each level take a pointed knife or the scissors and put a slit through the floor board where you want the stick going down though the bracket and into the floor. on the wall of the level below it also make mathching brakets of three sticks per braket. the bottom stick flat and totally glued so that when you place the stick through the upper floor bracket, through the floor slit and into the braket on the lower floor wall it does not go completely out of the bottom bracket.

To add rooms on each level repeat the process of making the basement foundation walls..

Do the same process for making a roof of measuring out slabs covering with white paper and placing three brakets and cardboard through to make it V shaped. if you have slanted to a peak roofs you will need the height to be the same as the height of each floor level and the width the same as the width of the foundation width so that as they slant they will meet in the middle. tohold each roof side together make three bracket on each roof slat along the length of th e roof and slip a piece of cardboard through the brakets from one slab to the other.

Your house skeliton is now done. Go around with a pencil, marker or paint and draw or paint on your windows and doors and any other decorations your house had on it in the past.

To make the inside decor measure out your paper and color or decorate to what your rooms look(ed) like.

furnature, and people? Another entry. have a good night everyone.