[shamon86]

I sent an email to me T after having a particularly bad couple of days. I had seen her that morning but I had forgotten to ask her about something so I sent an email to ask her thoughts. I told her that I was worried that the way I'm feeling now, which isn't that great, was as good as it will get. That I'll never be able to be content with my life. Among other things she said, her reply was that my mood symptoms aren't the biggest problem, it's my reactions to them. She said its understandable but it's gotten me stuck.

I can't help but feel a little offended by this, as I'm not trying to make things up or make a bigger deal of the way I feel. I don't know how to change that. I don't think she meant to offend me but now I'm feeling like no one truly understands how I'm really feeling and that my feelings aren't validated.

Am I over reacting to all this or thinking about it too much? Should I be interpreting it a different way? Any thought are appreciated!

[HazelGirl]

I think what she was saying was that you're making yourself more depressed. By focusing on how terrible you feel, you're making yourself feel even more terrible.

[OneWorld]

Originally Posted by shamon86

Am I over reacting to all this or thinking about it too much? Should I be interpreting it a different way? Any thought are appreciated!

I think that maybe what she could have meant was that moods are susceptible to changes and emotions but you have control over how you choose to respond to those moods and what you do with them. That's where therapy can help - to teach you how to manage your moods so that they don't control you. I would find encouragement in her response actually. I don't find that I have much control over how I feel at any given time so if my feelings were keeping me stuck, I'd feel hopeless. The fact that the thing keeping me stuck is how I know to behave based on those feelings gives me hope because I have the ability to learn to strategies.

[PeeJay]

Originally Posted by shamon86

I sent an email to me T after having a particularly bad couple of days. I had seen her that morning but I had forgotten to ask her about something so I sent an email to ask her thoughts. I told her that I was worried that the way I'm feeling now, which isn't that great, was as good as it will get. That I'll never be able to be content with my life. Among other things she said, her reply was that my mood symptoms aren't the biggest problem, it's my reactions to them. She said its understandable but it's gotten me stuck.

I can't help but feel a little offended by this, as I'm not trying to make things up or make a bigger deal of the way I feel. I don't know how to change that. I don't think she meant to offend me but now I'm feeling like no one truly understands how I'm really feeling and that my feelings aren't validated.

Am I over reacting to all this or thinking about it too much? Should I be interpreting it a different way? Any thought are appreciated!

Sometimes, Ts offer a practical, thinking response rather than an emotional, caring one.

My T told me once, when I was feeling really low, that, "It's all about mood management." And then she gave me skills for managing my mood. It has really helped.

At the time, I felt dismissed. But it solved the problem.

[shamon86]

I appreciate everyone's responses. It helps me understand what she was trying to say, and she responded with what she meant. But now it brings up more questions then answers I think. If my reactions are the problem then haven't I caused my own depression? I used to think it was just a chemical imbalance in my brain but I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe I just made everything up. And now I just keep making it worse. And I feel bad because now my pdoc probably just thinks I'm taking the easy way out with medication I take. If I'm the one who caused the problem in the first place why can't I fix it?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by shamon86

I sent an email to me T after having a particularly bad couple of days. I had seen her that morning but I had forgotten to ask her about something so I sent an email to ask her thoughts. I told her that I was worried that the way I'm feeling now, which isn't that great, was as good as it will get. That I'll never be able to be content with my life. Among other things she said, her reply was that my mood symptoms aren't the biggest problem, it's my reactions to them. She said its understandable but it's gotten me stuck.

I can't help but feel a little offended by this, as I'm not trying to make things up or make a bigger deal of the way I feel. I don't know how to change that. I don't think she meant to offend me but now I'm feeling like no one truly understands how I'm really feeling and that my feelings aren't validated.

Am I over reacting to all this or thinking about it too much? Should I be interpreting it a different way? Any thought are appreciated!

Well, this post is reactive, right?



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[looking4polaris]

I' m sorry I don't have suggestions to help how you are feeling right now.
I just wanted to say that this type of exchange happens a lot with me and my T. Lots of times, I end up feeling misunderstood and confused. When I'm able to bring it up in person and ask him to elaborate on what he was thinking and feeling with his response, I often discover that we weren't really so far apart. I usually say something profound like "I don't get it."
When T isn't getting it, he does his reflecting back what I just said thing and then I can clarify. His way is probably better. I'd start by saying everything you did in your post and let her respond.
Good luck.

[shamon86]

I guess so...

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by shamon86

I guess so...

I've been through a time in life, where an exbf used to tell me that I think too much. He also used the term self defeatist, towards me. Gosh, i needed counseling, just dealing with him. Ergo, i finished an on campus counseling 16 week session, with that t posing question, didn't I feel perhaps that (ex)bf of mine, was a major issue in my life? Not those words, exactly.
Anyways being the person, that I am, spent the next decade, trying to figure that one out, the part about thinking, too much.
Was I offended, by exbf saying that? Yep.
Taking a closer look backwards, it's not that I think too much, as if thinking things thoroughly, is terrible, it's that I was over assessing, what people meant, without directly asking or letting go of whether they liked me or not. Or whether, i thought they did or not. Unless one expresses yes, or no, I'm better off feeling positions are neutral.
That said, to feel, is human. Pause before a reaction, learned. Over reactions, typically come from a place in past. Regular reaction, knows how it's here and now.

Moods, are human. Happy, sad, angry, etc. handling a reaction, takes skill.



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