[peppermint1]

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my T. He wants to attempt this talking about Childhood experiences stuff again. I have more tools now and we let a bit of time pass since the last attempt on the subject. I know its important to do, but that doesn't make me want to do it any more. My worry is how this coverstation is really going to go? what kind of questions will he be asking? What am I suppose to say back? what are the things I am going to experience when we do talk about it? will I be ok after the session?

[HazelGirl]

No one can answer these questions since every T is different. I wish I could be more reassuring, but maybe if you start by talking about how scared you are, it might help you relax a little.

[Leah123]

Awe, I am sorry you are anxious. I have felt a lot of pain, anxiety, and distress talking about difficult childhood experiences, so, I understand your trepidation.

My suggestion is not to push yourself to reveal everything or reply in a particular way, but to do and say whatever feels comfortable.

I am glad you have tools: do you feel confident that the two of you have a plan for helping you manage your distress during and after the session? That can help a lot.

I felt uncomfortable after sessions, sometimes for days, but I also lacked some key coping skills. However, overall, I have found the experience to be healing and relieving. Hope you'll take extra good care of yourself while doing this hard work.

[peppermint1]

Thank you both for your insight, he said for my benefit, that he wants us to do this thing where we isolate the thoughts surrounding it to where it is only out in therapy but that we would have to initially get It out 1st(ill admit I haven't exactly been thrilled or the most forthcoming about the idea of talking about these things, but who really is).. So the 1st hurdle is what is scaring me the most, he said that he will tell me as we go how he is going to help me with it, but 1st he needs to help me find a way to undo certain ways of thinking. Not sure what he ment by this.

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by peppermint1

Thank you both for your insight, he said for my benefit, that he wants us to do this thing where we isolate the thoughts surrounding it to where it is only out in therapy but that we would have to initially get It out 1st(ill admit I haven't exactly been thrilled or the most forthcoming about the idea of talking about these things, but who really is).. So the 1st hurdle is what is scaring me the most, he said that he will tell me as we go how he is going to help me with it, but 1st he needs to help me find a way to undo certain ways of thinking. Not sure what he ment by this.

Perhaps you could ask him how he means to do that? I know I had a really hard time with it early on, we did not have a plan per se, so I think it would be good to hear the plan first. I don't know that it's possible to make this type of disclosure easy or painless, but it's worth trying to make it more manageable.

[peppermint1]

He doesn't seem to think that me know entirely what he has planned would be beneficial when I asked since I have some anxiety already regarding the matter, he also said it needs to be done a certain way with me since there person who also went through it with me committed suicide recent (partly over the matter) I don't have much experience on this to be honest and up until recently, I didn't understand(and part of it I still don't) much about what happened, but now that this is going to be discussed I am worried how it will effect my daily life(despite everything I actually have a pretty decent life, I think that's why I didn't want to go down this route before)

[Leah123]

Hmmm, well, I am not clear on why he thinks telling you the plan to ease your disclosure would be counterproductive. I would not like my therapist talking like that. I've found with her an important part of talking through trauma is having a sense of control, and similarly for difficult childhood experiences so that you can make the new experience safer-feeling and healing compare to the original experience.

I'm sure it varies a lot, but my life was painfully impacted by disclosure: I felt unsettled for days. I cried, I stressed, I was extremely anxious, panicky, unhappy, etc. I think some of that is unavoidable, but that there are coping techniques that help.

I think it really comes down to your comfort level with him. Do you trust him? Deeply? Is he going to be available between sessions? What is the plan for all the feelings that are stirred up if or when he is not available?

Many people, myself included, have done therapy without asking these questions initially, I'm not saying one can't, but....

I think you deserve to have a way to know that you are going to treat yourself well and get through a difficult experience with a little more structure than when you first had the experience.