T asked me last session, the question I been longing someone to ask me forever and im

I forgot to mention this last post, but again, im going to dare to be vulnerable (ish) tomorrow. Last session while we were processing a mini drawing of some csa I drew, we took a mini break, and she asked me , what no previous therapists, or anyone irl, has ever asked.

A question so, simple, to many, yet so significant and moving to me, I wanted to hear myself respond to this question out loud to see what it felt like.

She said sweepy, did your mom ever tell you she loved you , like a child deserves to be told? Did she ever hold you or hug you?

I was fighting emotions, as I answered no to both, but I felt such a powerful release, because it finally happened, I know its part of her job, but it didnt feel that way.

Tomorrow I will find the courage to tell her, for the first time, I felt safe, and a bit closer to her in that moment.

A pivotal moment. I had mine in my first year with my t. My mother came with me for a session and t asked her if i hadnt been a good daughter all these years. The way she said, "daughter?" told me exactly how she felt about me, exactly how she saw me, where i fit in her life. Its not the same as your moment, but there is definitely a feeling of your life before and after the time that question was asked. And the person who asked it - its like they saved your life. my t didnt even realize how huge the question was, but it was anyway.

Sweepy, I can relate how this felt for you. The first time someone asked me the exact same question, I had a similar reaction. I am so glad you are able to start talking about all of that difficult stuff now and you are so courageous and brave for doing that. I always keep you in my heart, you know that and I will be in your pocket tomorrow, sweet friend.
You are very special and very strong!

Love,
Amelia

Omg, it was huge, I guess its a sharing moment, like I said, im sure she would want to know, im happy you under stand the moment having gone through one yourself.

Thankyou, so are you, hugs,

Aww, Sweepy. I'm sorry for all you've been through and I'm glad your T is supporting you.

it really is affirming and comforting isnt it? so glad she finally asked what youve always wanted to hear you deserve it ♥

My T asked me if I received hugs, and I said no. she didn't ask me about the love thing but I guess that's the other part of it.

I didn't expect to receive either of these things from my parents though, so it doesn't really bother me, but I think it may explain some things.

Sorry , thanks for responding hope you process these things with your t.

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wow that is a simple but very intense question. it must have been so lonely to not have received this when growing up

Very lonely , it was like I was a mini Rambo, I was plotting my next survival mission in ways, and protecting my siblings and my mom, then I would be protecting my mom from my siblings, then I would be protecting my mother and siblings from my father, then , my mom would , defend my father, OMG, then my mom would say, what are you afraid of, everything is fine here, nothing to be afraid of, LMAO. ok then why are the cops in the house , hauling him away, and why are you bruised, and why are we always having to run in the middle of the night, if this is ok, I wonder what bad is. lol

I am so sorry. That has to have been overwhelming and terrifying.

It was, I did it, I still yet have to tell my t about this, I will eventually, that is why I am so afraid to get close to t, but I am trying, last session I felt a connection, I am not fighting it anymore, I will just let it happen.

I was never told this or hugged ever while I was growing up. I crave it now I think as a result but It's as if I have an invisible wall around me. I would love my T to ask me this or to hug me. She has just Made me feel guilty for saying that 50 mins a week isn't enough at the moment. I am in pieces. I am destined to always be alone and untouchable. You sound as if you have made huge progress with your new T. I am so pleased Sweepy.