Couch 74

I told my mother what my brother did and she invites me to his wedding. I'm glad you let it go ready. Bigger you!

Oh I havent let anything go... I just live in denial. And pay the price time and time again..

I dont know if thats denial. Idk wth that is! but it kinda explains how you could do the laundry like you did last year. But who am i to talk. I told my t my apartment looks like a freakin landfill. I should be so active

If denial allows you to live day to day, then that is just coping and that's ok. All we can do is the best we can do.

I still have a Linus ie charlie brown postcard that i bought waaaaay back before i started any t stuff that reads, "No problem is so big or so complicated that it cant be run away from." I remember telling my longterm t about it, and she was like, yeah i can see thats you.

And Calvin says: A day without denial is a day you have to face.

Running and dealing are two different things in my book.

Well linus is sitting with his blanket when he says that. If youre sitting on a planet moving thousands of miles an hour, running is a relative term!

Eta - i didnt mean to contradict you with my linus quote.

Running is relative , and as always I love your unusual perspective.

I swear, I think I kept the hospital from killing her at least twice today just through extreme incompetence. It is like "let's do X to see what happens and THEN read the chart to really figure out what is going on"

SD are you having doctor issues?

Wth. And youre probably trying to keep it quiet that youre a lawyer. Dont wanna make them more nervous or po'd.

I'm glad you're there with her, SD. My son has been hospitalized many, many times over the years, and I try to stay with him as much as possible. He is deaf and has developmental disabilities, plus reads and writes at a less than first-grade level. Not all sign language interpreters are created equal, so even if the hospital manages to find an interpreter when he needs one, they can't be there 24/7, nor does it guarantee effective communication just because there's an interpreter there.

It can be scary to realize the extent of staff incompetence at times. Thankfully, the hospital where my son gets his medical care is better than most, but mistakes can still happen.

Hang in there, and please take care of yourself as best as you can. I would often see my T when my son was in the hospital, and tell him I just needed to rant, or vent, or swear, or be sarcastic. My motto at those times is, "Swearing beats homicide."

Hopefully your friend can get transitioned from the hospital to your home soon. Thinking of you.

Hello everyone. Hope everyone finds something to enjoy about today.

I've been trying to do away with the entitlement ...the "I deserves" that is involved in some forms of "victim mentality"(per new T).

so I invited my brother to sit next to me at dinner. I had a real conversation with my parents and included them in knowing stuff about my son. I am doing all the things I know I should.... See I was raised "right"...meaning I was raised in a tradtional family from the outside so I know what my family was trying to portray so I know the right way to live.... its not like I didnt have a good examples....

I need to cook, clean and manage my peoples schedules... work a full time job, keep the house presentable at all times, also organize the household improvements and repairs .... Basically I need to go back to how I was before therapy. That will be easy for me.

That happens a lot more often than people like to think. Before we all learned how to deal with doctors and nurses, the hospital my FIL was in double dosed him on his blood pressure medication and his heart stopped. They were able to revive him, and it was the wake up call we all needed that we could not trust that the staff knew what the **** they were doing and we started keeping track of what they were giving him and when. On a couple of occasions, I had to stop them from overdosing him on pain meds, and had to remind them to check his blood sugar, etc.

If the two of you can afford it, I would suggest hiring a private night nurse or sitter to stay with her when she's in the hospital. There are services now for this kind of thing because it is becoming more common knowledge that hospitals are just not really equipped to care for people the way they should. Some places call them 'patient advocates' that you can hire.

SD...just last week my D drove me for xrays and the nurse brought in "pain pills" for me to take before the xray. I was really not doing well in the head and almost took them but my D stopped her and requested she read my allergy sheet first. Yup, ibuprofen will send me into aniphylaxis. Idiots.

I second the hiring of a private duty nurse. You get to analyze their references and skills. Also, with regular Hospice, you can dictate who cares for her and who doesn't.

I know I've said this already, but she is one incredibly lucky lady to have you standing guard over her. Really.

Ready - I don't think it's wise to give up al-anon and T. Really.
And denial is definitely a coping mechanism, one that works quite well. You really shouldn't give up one coping mechanism until you've found another that works.
Something Frau T told me that stuck. I used to frantically run around thinking I wasn't dealing with things right, but the truth is I was dealing. I was moving forward. Right or wrong, it's worked for me to not think about stuff. Everyone deals differently.

As I sit here my D is giving me a pedi. I have an appointment with an ortho this afternoon, and I want my feet all nice in case I get casted. She's so thorough and gentle at the same time.
I pray I don't get a cast, I don't do well with permanent things like that. 10 years ago I broke my arm and I tore off two different casts, both in the middle of the night. I don't like confinement. I'll do better with the boot.

H is insisting I use a walker for a while. I've fallen a lot over the past few months, and he's worried. I get it, I just don't want to give in.

Thanks everyone. My heart is full with the best of wishes for all of you.

Hello Couch Peeps. Just checking in to say "hi" to all & hope everyone is having a good Tuesday.... Hugs to all those who want them and positive vibes to all. Getting back to work after the Easter break is hard. Schools go back tomorrow so back into routine - hopefully that will make me feel better....

I can handle casts but I cannot handle slings. Slings make me feel restrained.
And use the walker - a broken hip, for example, is even less fun than the break you have now. Just a gentle encouragement.

The thing that made me mutilate the casts 10 yrs ago was I convinced myself there were bugs climbing around in it. I mean, REALLY convinced myself, and no one could talk me down. Twice.

No cast (yay) but another request to use the walker. I told him if he finds one with a motor, let me know. Since it's my left foot, I can still drive. So, I am going to the wildlife clinic tomorrow and doing some desk duty. I WILL NOT stop things that give me pleasure. Life is way to short to not do what warms you on a regular basis.

Wikid, having been through something similar with my father in law, the terror of finding him on the floor with blood all over was pretty horrible. I hope you will reconsider the walker thing for your family's sake, if not for your own.

It sounds like you have good family.

When I sprained my right ankle 30 years ago, i had to become ambifoocterous. As long as you have an automatic its not that hard. Its like left mousing.