[rainbow8]

Has anyone else done somatic experiencing with touch, in their therapy? I just wish I had someone to compare notes with. I could post in the alternative therapy forum, but it doesn't get many posts. I wish I didn't have to wait 2 weeks to know what my T thought about my email. I'll manage, though. I can distract myself pretty well as I've got a lot of projects and things to do in these 2 weeks. Still, I feel unsettled....about the way T decided touch was allowed, after all! The whole session was so weird...

[Leah123]

My therapist is a fan of Peter Levine, a founder of the field, and a huge advocate for SE in folks with PTSD, which I have. So, we have spoken some about the theory and are somewhat body-focused in our therapy, but as we do distance therapy, our work is about her guiding me through exercises and mindfulness in where in my body I'm experiencing sensations and how they present as I remember or experience intense situations. I do find Levine's work resonant. Sorry I can't speak more to the formal type of touch your therapist has started employing, but I do find the concepts and sometimes activities related to energy release and touch-based healing to be affirming and powerful. I do massage therapy in conjunction with my therapy regimen, though not nearly as often, to help with the physical aspects.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Leah123

My therapist is a fan of Peter Levine, a founder of the field, and a huge advocate for SE in folks with PTSD, which I have. So, we have spoken some about the theory and are somewhat body-focused in our therapy, but as we do distance therapy, our work is about her guiding me through exercises and mindfulness in where in my body I'm experiencing sensations and how they present as I remember or experience intense situations. I do find Levine's work resonant. Sorry I can't speak more to the formal type of touch your therapist has started employing, but I do find the concepts and sometimes activities related to energy release and touch-based healing to be affirming and powerful. I do massage therapy in conjunction with my therapy regimen, though not nearly as often, to help with the physical aspects.

Thank you, Leah! Someone who heard of Peter Levine at last! My T gave me one of his CD's. I was never diagnosed with PTSD, but she thinks I have some trauma in my past, and I definitely have attachment issues and anxiety. I used to hate the "where in your body do you feel that" question, but I'm getting used to it. I still don't understand how that's supposed to help exactly. When I feel good, she wants me to tell her where I feel it, not just when I'm anxious or upset. Is it hard for you to recognize where you're feeling something? My T has to help me out, by asking: is it in your chest, your stomach? She comments when I seem to be holding my breath, or when I fidget. I would think it would be difficult to do this via email! I've had a couple of massages; my T thinks more would be good for me too.

[Leah123]

I'm acutely aware of where I feel things, so I can talk to her about different sensations: blockages, tingling, tension, etc., etc. in different spots and relate them to different emotions and experiences. Most of mine are uncomfortable ones, neat that you talk about the positives too, maybe I should focus on that.

I am also really aware of my breathing, it's something I worked on for years as I did some singing, meditation, workshops, and breath control was part of my survival strategy as a kid. So, I do talk to her a LOT about that, actually. Sigh. It's not easy to really share about this topic.

It's not something we work on together too much via email, although I do write to her updates including physical ones, but we do phone sessions and live, real-time instant messaging, so she can talk me through things she wants me to do, and she pays attention to my breathing also, and I really try to verbalize all the physiological aspects for her.

I do find the massage can be very helpful, a little bit triggering at times still, but much better now than when I was younger. I go once per month, sometimes twice. A nourishing self-care routine.

[Willowleaf]

I think you know I do the same. Yes touch can bring up a lot, but I started therapy as my issues were around touch. She never touches me without permission and sometimes she doesn't use touch at all, but generally there is a lot of touch in my therapy. The difference I have is that touch has always been allowed. I've read your threads often and have wondered if mine too would withdraw the use of touch. I think I would find it very strange if I was in your position. We work very much on the lines of Peter Levine and Babette Rothchild. I felt much better when I read the case studies that go with the book, The Body Remembers.

[Leah123]

"I still don't understand how that's supposed to help exactly."

Well, my very limited understanding/experience is that some of the helpful aspects are:

Releasing stuck energy
Attending with care to the physical manifestations of emotional pain
Increasing self-awareness which can help with assertiveness
Making peace, increasing harmony within ourselves

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Willowleaf

I think you know I do the same. Yes touch can bring up a lot, but I started therapy as my issues were around touch. She never touches me without permission and sometimes she doesn't use touch at all, but generally there is a lot of touch in my therapy. The difference I have is that touch has always been allowed. I've read your threads often and have wondered if mine too would withdraw the use of touch. I think I would find it very strange if I was in your position. We work very much on the lines of Peter Levine and Babette Rothchild. I felt much better when I read the case studies that go with the book, The Body Remembers.

I wish Adel's alternative social group could become active again. Yes, I remember now that you do SE. I never read anything by Babette Rothchild. Thanks for telling me about her and for posting to me. My T never took away the hugs, just holding her hand. So she was never against touch, and used to say "touch is healing". Does your T ask the "where in your body do you feel that" questions too?

[rainbow8]

Leah, did you edit a post about Peter Levine? I read one of his books and also read about him online, and I agree that it's cool the way the animals react to trauma. They shrug it off, shake themselves, and then they're fine. I forget if I read "Waking the Tiger" or another book.

My T sometimes has me move slowly the way I start to move on my own. She says it has to be slow, though. Or if I do something like push my hands into the couch, she asks me to keep doing it. Or if my feet are moving around, to continue, not to stop myself from moving the way I want to. I don't even know how I'm fidgeting, most of the time, until T points it out. She's very observant!!

Are your Ts like that too?

[Leah123]

Hi Rainbow, yeah felt a little overexposed, sorry. Kind of a touchy subject, ha. My T has walked me through some physical exercises, she does encourage me to release energy in certain ways, is also just a big believer in crying things out to release stress hormones and resolve tension. She is observant at times of my breathing, during difficult periods particularly, and we try to keep tabs on how I'm positioned and other things at times, but really nothing as directive in that regard as your T does. I think part of our communication about it is just her needing to rely on verbal descriptions as she can't see me during session too.

[Willowleaf]

If I hear where in the body do you feel that again I will scream! Yes it's a favourite one and one I struggle with, though I suppose if I could answer I regularly and well I wouldn't need therapy! I'm going through a nightmare time at the moment and its only when this happens that I tend to draw away from any physical touch and she is much more advocating of it. She still won't touch me unless I ask even when I know she would like to hold my hand or try and comfort me. Sometimes I find the boundary annoying but most of the time I really like it. Touch still completely overwhelmes me. It puts me in touch with all sorts of feelings that I can ignore when we just talk, although to be honest I'm a bit rubbish at talking as well! I'm pleased your t is allowing touch again, but I think I would be very confused in your situation and scared it will be withdrawn again. Does this bother you?

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Willowleaf

If I hear where in the body do you feel that again I will scream! Yes it's a favourite one and one I struggle with, though I suppose if I could answer I regularly and well I wouldn't need therapy! I'm going through a nightmare time at the moment and its only when this happens that I tend to draw away from any physical touch and she is much more advocating of it. She still won't touch me unless I ask even when I know she would like to hold my hand or try and comfort me. Sometimes I find the boundary annoying but most of the time I really like it. Touch still completely overwhelmes me. It puts me in touch with all sorts of feelings that I can ignore when we just talk, although to be honest I'm a bit rubbish at talking as well! I'm pleased your t is allowing touch again, but I think I would be very confused in your situation and scared it will be withdrawn again. Does this bother you?

I didn't see this post until now that I decided to revisit my thread. Thank you for sharing again. I don't think any professional T would touch a client without asking. At least I hope not. My T always asks first. I understand how hard SE can be!

Yes, I'm confused and that's why I sent her an email all about my feelings. She doesn't answer emails, so she can't ask me where in my body I feel my confusion, either! I told her I was scared of her enthusiam, and asked how can I trust that she won't change her mind again. I feel somewhat reassured because she has always allowed hugs. I also remember what she told me after holding my hand in the beginning when I said I didn't know why it felt so good and so safe. She said "if that's what that part needs to heal, then that's what we'll do." She "took it away" because she was going through something in her own life, and I think I know what it was. I wish she had told me that, but she didn't at the time. Now she says her nervous system is more settled, so she can be there for me in the way that I need, regarding holding her hand.

Of course her workshop reinforced that, so I probably shouldn't be so upset and confused. I have another week before I see her again, and I feel better about it. I still have some feelings, though. She kind of "spoiled" the good feeling a little because of analyzing it and asking those "where do you feel it" questions. I keep picturing her next to me, looking intently at me and me being self-conscious. It reminded me of EMDR when she had to look at me very closely to gauge when to stop the buzzers. I want her close to me but at the same time I'm afraid. I also lost some of the connection, or at least it felt that way, because she seemed more like a doctor to me. It was kind of weird. I'll have to wait and see how it goes next week.

[Willowleaf]

Good luck with this. I thought it was interesting you felt you had lost some of the connection. I feel this when I don't let myself really feel it, when I am holding back for some reason. I was curious that maybe you might be stopping yourself for some reason?
I'm sorry her stuff got in the way of your therapy. I remember reading your posts at the time. Whilst you seem to have made a lot of progress over the last 9 months I hope this doesn't lead to more heartache for you. I think that's one draw back with touch, it can be so powerful but if it goes wrong, boy is it disastrous. Will be thinking of you

[Aloneandafraid]

Originally Posted by Willowleaf

If I hear where in the body do you feel that again I will scream! Yes it's a favourite one and one I struggle with, though I suppose if I could answer I regularly and well I wouldn't need therapy! I'm going through a nightmare time at the moment and its only when this happens that I tend to draw away from any physical touch and she is much more advocating of it. She still won't touch me unless I ask even when I know she would like to hold my hand or try and comfort me. Sometimes I find the boundary annoying but most of the time I really like it. Touch still completely overwhelmes me. It puts me in touch with all sorts of feelings that I can ignore when we just talk, although to be honest I'm a bit rubbish at talking as well! I'm pleased your t is allowing touch again, but I think I would be very confused in your situation and scared it will be withdrawn again. Does this bother you?

Sorry to hijack your thread, Rainbow but my T has asked me a few times "where in the body do you feel this" and I just dont know where or what I am supposed to be feeling. But yesterday I felt a kind of sick feeling low down in my stomach. It feels like an empty void. Does this make sense? Why does she keep asking me where am I feeling this? What is SE? I am feeling really bad today. I feel like i am drowning in a sea of despair.

Why does she ask this every session? She does Mindfulness - could this be related? Why do I not feel anything? Please help me make sense of this.

[rainbow8]

About Somatic Experiencing | Post Traumatic Stress Disorder | Trauma Healing | Continuing Education For Mental Health Professionals

aloneand afraid: Above is a link to the somatic experiencing website.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, especially with your T's questions. Telling her you felt something in your stomach IS an answer. I tell that to my T a lot. SE is about healing trauma by recognizing our feelings, not in our head primarily, but in our body. Our feelings usually show up in some way in our bodies. If we're anxious, we my breather shallower, or hold our breath. We may fidget with our hands and/or our feet. If we're happy, we may feel a warmth all over our bodies.

The premise of SE is that when we release the stress in our bodies the way they seem to want to move, it can heal trauma. Animals in the wild, after being attacked, shake themselves off vigorously and then they go about their business again! That's what Peter Levine based SE on, though I'm simplifying it a lot!

My T believes in mindfulness, and being aware of how I feel, and where I feel it, in the moment, is related to SE. Mindfulness doesn't have to have anything to do with SE, though. It sounds like your T is incorporating some of SE into your work. Can you ask her if she has training in somatic experiencing, and ask her how she thinks it will help you? That's the best way to know what our Ts are doing, though I actually never asked my T specifically how SE will help me. She just says it is good for me.

Back to you. Again, a sick feeling in your stomach IS an answer so you need to tell her that, if you haven't. She asks you because she thinks it can help you. Do you use your brain a lot, think things intellectually? I can tell my T how I feel, but get stuck with where I feel things physically. Do your thoughts go round and round? SE along with mindfulness can ground you, too. My T asks if I feel my legs on the floor, and how do they feel? If I'm anxious all over, she asks if there's any place I don't feel anxious, like my legs? I know it sound a little weird, but our bodies DO tell us a lot. We get "sick to our stomach", we have a "gut feeling", etc. I can't think of more examples at the moment, but you get the idea.

Please ask your T more about her techniques. I hope the website I posted helps too.

[Aloneandafraid]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

About Somatic Experiencing | Post Traumatic Stress Disorder | Trauma Healing | Continuing Education For Mental Health Professionals

aloneand afraid: Above is a link to the somatic experiencing website.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, especially with your T's questions. Telling her you felt something in your stomach IS an answer. I tell that to my T a lot. SE is about healing trauma by recognizing our feelings, not in our head primarily, but in our body. Our feelings usually show up in some way in our bodies. If we're anxious, we my breather shallower, or hold our breath. We may fidget with our hands and/or our feet. If we're happy, we may feel a warmth all over our bodies.

The premise of SE is that when we release the stress in our bodies the way they seem to want to move, it can heal trauma. Animals in the wild, after being attacked, shake themselves off vigorously and then they go about their business again! That's what Peter Levine based SE on, though I'm simplifying it a lot!

My T believes in mindfulness, and being aware of how I feel, and where I feel it, in the moment, is related to SE. Mindfulness doesn't have to have anything to do with SE, though. It sounds like your T is incorporating some of SE into your work. Can you ask her if she has training in somatic experiencing, and ask her how she thinks it will help you? That's the best way to know what our Ts are doing, though I actually never asked my T specifically how SE will help me. She just says it is good for me.

Back to you. Again, a sick feeling in your stomach IS an answer so you need to tell her that, if you haven't. She asks you because she thinks it can help you. Do you use your brain a lot, think things intellectually? I can tell my T how I feel, but get stuck with where I feel things physically. Do your thoughts go round and round? SE along with mindfulness can ground you, too. My T asks if I feel my legs on the floor, and how do they feel? If I'm anxious all over, she asks if there's any place I don't feel anxious, like my legs? I know it sound a little weird, but our bodies DO tell us a lot. We get "sick to our stomach", we have a "gut feeling", etc. I can't think of more examples at the moment, but you get the idea.

Please ask your T more about her techniques. I hope the website I posted helps too.

Thank you so much for your post and for the link. It makes good sense and I am looking forward to asking her about it next week. I definitely think things more than feel if that makes sense. She has also done grounding and breathing exercises with me but I find it so hard and just go through the motions without really letting myself go into it. That is where yoga would be helpful I guess.

Thanks again so very much for your support and the trouble you have gone to. I much appreciate it.