Sly things that therapists do, such as chair placement

My t hands me the tissues, they are right there in front of me but sometimes I just can't get them because I don't want to draw attention to my crying.
T will get out of her chair and hand them to me, she is the only t who does that and we were thought in t school not to hand clients tissues because it interrupts the process. I believe the opposite, it shows empathy and caring when t hands me the tissues. For someone like me who was severely neglected t is showing me she cares. If she was to just let me suffer it wouldn't show caring and be very cold and exactly like my mother.

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I do this with my kids now. Works wonders for calming an upset child. My son is a very poor sleeper - SNs... This'll get him right off to sleep...
Even if I never make much progress with myself, therapy is worth it for all the random useful things like this I've learned;-)


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I don't think my T does it just for me at all LOL

I do think it is possibly intentional though - for all his clients. That's what annoys me. It also makes me wonder how other clients can stand to sit so close to him, and if they don't mind it, why do I? Yeah - I compare myself. I don't want to sit so fing close to him but it's my only choice unless I physically move the pillow. The pillow should be on the side of the couch IMO. But whatever - his job, his office, his choice.

You can't move the pillow to the side? I move the couch pillow wherever I need it to be.

Yeah - like i said, I can and often do. I just, for some reason, feel very self-conscious doing so. Like it's drawing attention to my issues. But I feel very analyzed with my T.

I doubt your T is analyzing you moving the pillow. My guess is that pillow probably gets moved around all day.

I didn't say it was a rational concern. But it's never on the other side. Obviously it's my own issue. I am very hyper vigilant.

Hmm. When I was a kid I could not sleep if I could hear anybody else breathing. I had to stay awake (pretending to sleep, so I wouldn't make the other person worried) and make sure that my exhaling was not in time with the other person's inhaling, because I had heard about how people breathe out carbon dioxide, and I was terrified of poisoning the other person with my breath. Unfortunately, I shared a bed with two family members until I was about six years old, and that laid the foundation for a lifetime of broken sleep.

Sorry, TMI and completely irrelevant, but I just remembered that...

I can understand this. I would never dream of moving a pillow or anything else in my T's office. I can't even switch off the light when he forgets it.

I have to say, you have covered all the bases!! And they think we don't notice...

My ex-psychiatrist placed both chairs and the couch lower than eye level so he was looking "down" when he talked to me. I took it as a form of intimidation, the "I am God" complex and dumped him.

I move nothing nor do I touch anything in the woman's office at all.

When I was a kid I'd start choking and wheezing if I paid attention to my breathing. Those meditation tapes that they played in school for us used to drive me nuts :-P

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Hmmm... Based on your comments I think that my previous T was less sly than the current one He has never walked me to the door (however he stood up when I was leaving but it's not about being sly but being polite I think), our chairs were very similar and were pretty far away from each other, the closed pack of tissues was always close to me and the clock was visible from both our chairs equally well....

My current T walks me to the door when I am leaving, tissues are between as so I can take them by myself but I'd have to "make an effort" and there are two clocks, one behind me and one behind my T, so that we both can check the time... However, mine was two times turned so I couldn't have checked it (my T knows that I have to control the timing to not stay too long) but I always have my own watch so I didn't care so much... And at my T's office there are three chairs and one sofa, at the first session as I had know idea where I should sit, T said that wherever I wanted to except of her chair I'd prefer another chair but as only the sofa was facing T's chair (and other chairs were in 90 degree angle ) I had to choose the sofa and that's where I sit every time...

I have wondered about what my therapist thinks about where her clients sits on the sofa. I always sit on the far right side of the sofa, so I'm next to the window and I can use the ledge to put my bottle of water on. But each time I sit down I have to move one of the pillows on the sofa to get it out of "my spot" and this location puts me almost directly in front of my therapist, to be 100% straight on to where her chair is placed I would have to sit in the crack between two cushions on the sofa.

This thread is cracking me up. I am someone who can get paranoid from time to time, but I can't get myself to think that therapists around the world are strategically placing tissue boxes around the office!! You guys are so funny!

I know this picture is stupid, but I couldn't resist.

Does anyone else lie down on the couch vs sitting?

And yet they do:
"Back to the supervision session. Do I hand clients a Kleenex? No, it's always within arms reach for them. If it seems like they haven't seen it I'll let them know it's nearby. But I don't get up and walk over to the end table to grab a Kleenex and hand it to them. That gesture would go against my beliefs regarding client empowerment. I'll provide the Kleenex, you can grab it and use it however you please, or not. I'll observe and take note, and if something clinically relevant catches my eye I'll make a comment. And that's how we'll do things."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-psychotherapy
And then there are the various responses in the comments from therapists on where they put the box. Some do specifically choose to hand it to the client.
There are articles on it in various journals and chapters in their textbooks.
So while they may not do it specifically at any individual client, many of them do do it at their clients in general.

I lie down. My T offers a choice between sitting up in a chair (which is identical to his) or lying down on a couch, which is at the other end of the room. When I'm on the couch, he moves his chair (he does that before I arrive) and sit just behind me, where I can see him if I turn my head. I have switched back and forth a couple of times, but this past year I have mostly been lying down.

Do you write it down if someone uses one?

I'm curious as to how your office is set up. Have you ever thought about the things we're discussing from a client's point of view? The article you recommended has just enough humor in it. I didn't realize PT was written for psychologists. I might subscribe so I can get an inside view on how to manipulate my therapist.

I am not a therapist, thank god.

Does this sound like a therapist talking, or am I crazy?
You sound to me like you think like one, stopdog! I bet you give yours a run for the money!

That is a quote from Ryan Howes. He is a therapist and a blogger on psychology today. I do not like him, but he is sometimes writing about subjects that come up here.

I'd like to, but I'm nervous about it. T offered once, but I said it would feel weird and be hasn't brought it up since. Kinda wish he'd talk me into it but I know he'll leave it to me to take the initiative...
And there's another thing. He knows I have a hard time asking for stuff, so if he knows I want something he'll wait til I ask:-P


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Just the idea made me smile.

Ok so had T yesterday and did notice tissues. But they are furthest away from me probably she wants to hand them out as needed or the fact I've never cried in her office. Also noticed a chair. She says it's been there the whole time, I never noticed it!

It's odd to have never noticed it since I sit on the dr side of the couch on the edge and the chair is literally right there not even 2ft away! What the F?! How could I not notice it?