Eff this!

I hate emotions! I hate them more than anything in this world.

Grandma went to the hospital Thursday for a passing out episode and severe congestion(bronchitis). Doctors can't find the reason for her passing out. She won't eat much. Personally I think her body starting to go. I mean she is in her 90's...that very well could be it.

Emotionally I have been a wreck tonight. Crying on and off. I HATE crying.

I will talk to T about this Friday. We have been trying to prepare me for this eventuality. I think reality is just setting in now. I'm totally emotionally invested in my grandma...being her primary caretaker for the last 2ish years. That and we were always really close. I don't know what to do...just needed to get this out.

I'm sorry, Melissa. You are in an emotionally vulnerable and difficult situation right now. I'm glad you get to see your T Friday, but in the meantime we are here for you, also.

it sounds like you love your grandma very much so it is painful to see her suffer and think about what's to come. it's okay to cry.

((((((((Melissa)))))))

please call your T if you need to before Friday ... this is a lot you are dealing with

emotions can be hard enough at any time but when someone we love is sick ... it can get even more confusing (at least that's what I've found)

I'm imagining you are spending a lot of time at the hospital with your grandma, or is she home again now? hope you can also take some time for you and are able to do some of your self care

I wondered also - have you looked at carer support groups before?

I am so sorry , I know how close and worried you have been about your grandma, I agree with tigergirl, please contact your t, I understand what you are going through, as I have been through similar situations. I hate emotions as well. In fact right now, My mother in law is in the hospital again, the only thing is I am not emotionally invested as you are, but I am dealing with my husbands emotions, she is in failing health she is 87, and doctors have told us to prepare. she is in stage 4 renal failure and congestive heart failure, this time its very bad.
My h was crying all last night, I dont handle emotions very well, I dont know how to comfort very well. I am seeing my t, today.
Please Melissa, contact your t, I need you to keep it together, for you and your grandma, you can do this. pm if you need to, we are here for you. keep us updated ok.

I have been spending a lot of time with grandma. I don't spend probably less than 6 hours with her when I'm there. Although I only went every other day to the hospital. She is being transferred to a nursing home today. Once she gets a little stronger and more steady she will come home.

I'll call T if it gets to be too much. I do see her Friday though and that will be good. I have been sleeping really well so that's good.

I HATE that someone else has to take care of her. I want to take care of her at home. Hopefully that will be soon.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

I hope your Grandma is doing better? Thinking of you!!

She is at the nursing home. Appears to be doing better. Still quite a bit of congestion with the bronchitis. No real answers as to why she is having passing out episodes- 2 five weeks ago and 1 last week.

She will have rehab for 2 weeks and re-evaluate her need.