[clairelisbeth]

Does anyone ever wonder about their T's life outside of therapy and fantasize about how it's perfect/awesome?

The funny thing is, my T is definitely not a blank slate. She doesn't over share, but she doesn't go out of her way to hide things, and in reality, I know that her life isn't perfect.

I know about some hard things she's dealt with (not in an inappropriate way)....but even though I know that her life isn't perfect, I have this fantasy that it is. She has a perfect relationship with her amazing significant other, and that in her free time, she is always busy doing something cool/meaningful. She has great relationships with her amazing family (in my imagination).

There is no way that she ever just sits around on a Sunday watching TV in her pjs-she's always traveling somewhere, or seeing a play, or going wine tasting....

(I tend to think these things when I'm sitting around in MY pjs on a Sunday, btw )

Even though I know it's a fantasy, when I think about this, I feel jealous and overwhelmed...like, omg, she must have this amazing life that I can never have/attain.

Does anyone else have an idea (fantasy or otherwise) of T's life outside of therapy?

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[RTerroni]

Yes I sometimes think my Therapist has the perfect life outside of Therapy.

[kororain]

I imagine her marriage and family relations are probably super awesome. She's married with two kids.

She's also religious and does volunteery type things.

So I think she has a full life she enjoys, but not the life I would choose for myself.

[nottrustin]

I know enough to know that she doesn't have the perfect life...in fact I know that she is envious that I have a success marriage and have three great kids...she has met them. She has been divorced for many years. She has a great son but he lives out of state.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I know enough to know that she doesn't have the perfect life...in fact I know that she is envious that I have a success marriage and have three great kids...she has met them. She has been divorced for many years. She has a great son but he lives out of state.

Most of our Therapists don't have perfect lives but I think that many of us like to they do.

[tinyrabbit]

Yep. I know a little about my T but I fill in a lot of blanks with imaginary stuff. I especially like to imagine he's into cooking for some reason.

[precaryous]

With previous-t, for me, it made me sad...It was like being an illegitimate child...finally finding my real mother...knowing about her happy life, knowing she had a physician husband, two great kids, seeing her house...but not allowed to "knock on the door."

[Amandasmom]

I fantasize about my Ts life all the time how great it is. She doesn't disclose much. What I find out is on the Internet.

[clairelisbeth]

Yeah, I definitely know that she doesn't really have a perfect life (who does? )....my imagination gets away from me sometimes!

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[pbutton]

On one of the first nice warm weekends this spring, T and I talked about getting outside in the sun. He said he'd spent Sunday afternoon picking up dog poop in his backyard.

[clairelisbeth]

Pbutton-lol! Definitely shatters the fantasy

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[growlycat]

I know a lot about main T and I am jealous of his socially full life.

CBT T is a mystery to me. He is going on vacation for 7 weeks but so far he won't tell me where. So I am jealously imagining him on one of MY bucket-list vacations (Kenyan safari anyone?) He could be doing something much more boring. Who knows.

I am married to a therapist and several of his friends are therapists and i can promise you that their lives are not anywhere close to perfect.
I know what my t's life is like because our outside lives mix quite a bit, and her life is waaaaaayyyy far from perfect. Nothing to fantasize about.

[CantExplain]

See Mrs. Gray, she's proud today because her roses are in bloom.
Mr. Green, he's so serene, he's got a TV in every room.

[clairelisbeth]

Yup, I know that her life isn't really perfect-that's why it's a fantasy

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[stopdog]

No, I don't really think I fantasize about the therapist's personal life in general and certainly not that she leads some sort of charmed life simply due to her choosing to be a therapist as a career. I dated a therapist for awhile, and she was not leading a charmed life or magically more together than anyone else. I have friends who are therapists and they are as screwed up as anyone else.

[tinyrabbit]

I don't know about my T's family but I know he has cats and I know what some of his hobbies are. I really wish it was part of his family.

[JayneJohnson49]

I fantasize about T having a life that isn't filled with negative thoughts. I'm envious of the idea that she floats through life positive, upbeat and not thinking she's worthless and death would be preferable. She struggles with the same things as all of us; fitting appointments in, making it to her kid's recital, eating dinner as a family, spending a weekend doing chores versus what she wants to be doing.... So in that regard she's like every other human and likely, she has negative depressive thoughts just like anyone else. But, hey, this is a fantasy so yeah, I'm jealous that she doesn't get bogged down in her own head like I do.

[Wysteria]

I know this sounds dumb, but I think of how often people look happy and put together and feel like an outcast. And seeing how we all think our wise and saintly pdocs don't exactly have perfect lives (lol)....reminds me how often he tells me that everyone has problems and usually have false façades and I shouldn't assume they are all happy and self-actualized or something....

Just a weird observation....I've really enjoyed reading all your posts!


WB

[junkDNA]

hmmmm, i dont really fantasize about my Ts life because i know a good bit about him and what he does outside of the therapy room. but only because he shares it with me. on saturday he must have been out shopping because he sent me a text of a shirt with a cat wearing glasses on it and said "the shirt you should get " and then another one with a card of a cat wearing glasses on it and said "its cat wearing glasses day!" i thought it was nice he thought of me and i also thought, oh, he knows me so well. loll.

[musinglizzy]

My t wrote a book about her growing up. I found that out when I was "researching" her before I chose her. Ordered it, just got it, reading it, enjoying it. Guess her life was "an open book." But really, I don't see T's, in general, of having any different of a life than the average life. I'm sure there are good times, with some speed bumps along the way....much like most anyone else. But for some of us, there are more speed bumps than good times. And that's why we have a T

[Bells129]

Originally Posted by clairelisbeth

Does anyone ever wonder about their T's life outside of therapy and fantasize about how it's perfect/awesome?

The funny thing is, my T is definitely not a blank slate. She doesn't over share, but she doesn't go out of her way to hide things, and in reality, I know that her life isn't perfect.

I know about some hard things she's dealt with (not in an inappropriate way)....but even though I know that her life isn't perfect, I have this fantasy that it is. She has a perfect relationship with her amazing significant other, and that in her free time, she is always busy doing something cool/meaningful. She has great relationships with her amazing family (in my imagination).

There is no way that she ever just sits around on a Sunday watching TV in her pjs-she's always traveling somewhere, or seeing a play, or going wine tasting....

(I tend to think these things when I'm sitting around in MY pjs on a Sunday, btw )

Even though I know it's a fantasy, when I think about this, I feel jealous and overwhelmed...like, omg, she must have this amazing life that I can never have/attain.

Does anyone else have an idea (fantasy or otherwise) of T's life outside of therapy?

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She hasn't told me barely anything about her life, but I've heard info from other sources about her and I don't think she has a perfect life to be honest, nor do I fantasize that she does. I get the impression she's a workaholic, and I can tell from our sessions that she's very good at her job. I know a few of her hobbies, little tidbits about the area she lives in and her pets. But not much else.