Stupidest thing your T has said

I got this idea at my appointment yesterday because my T said something (I wish I could remember what!) that made me think "umm...DUH!" And I realized that stupidest thing your T ever said would make a great thread

T, in an attempt to normalize something I was embarrassed about, compared me to a wacky celebrity whom NOBODY would EVER want to be compared to. The comment was really out of left field, but he said it in a really honest nice way as if it would make me feel better. I was like...

Not stupid, but weird...

I told my T how I hate being mistaken for a boy. She said she didn't understand this. I reacted in a not-believing-way... because it happens all the time, you know.
Afterwards, she said 'Well, I actually think you look pretty' (as if to say... 'pretty, but maybe like a boy, yes', right? ). I didn't really react to that either (hate receiving compliments and don't believe them anyway).
Then she said 'Well, you know, there's pretty boys out there too'. I guess now I'm officially classified as a boy by my T.

Geez...she sort of messed that one up, didn't she?

I have to say I didn't really have a problem with it. Because I'm fully aware of it, I guess... So I stopped being too annoyed when this happens.
So... at least one issue solved.

It happened once but I can't remember what it was about. But last time she said as an example something like "If, say, I tell you you're an idiot.." And after she made her point and completed her sentence I thought about that and said "you don't know what you've risked, this might have cost me another 10+ years of therapy with an additional therapist because of MY therapist (you), hadn't i known where you wanted to get! And your examples suck, by the way." (big laugh followed).

PDoc said to me, in response to someone jumping to conclusions about something, and my resulting guilt about it: "It's like when you have sex on the third date and then they assume you're in a relationship with them. You never specifically said you wanted to be in a relationship with them, but they just assume it". It was funny and I wasn't offended, he's just usually more guarded about himself. He knew that I knew he was dating (on a dating site) so I think that connection we had prompted his choice of an example. If it were a different female patient though, they might of thought he was a huge *****!

Not much yet but we do have a good laugh from time to time about nothing much.
I cant quiet work out why I love it when she laughs. But it puts me in a good mood that much I know.

I have to say, my T has never said anything really stupid or off-the-wall that I can think of.

However, ex-T DEFINITELY said idiotic things all the time. I can't think of examples right now, which is strange bc I've discussed them ad nauseam both in therapy and with friends.

She tried to give different issues names though (and at the time, I was too polite to tell her that I wasn't down with that). For example, she called my OCD "Mr. Cruel" and my perfectionism "Ms. Perfectionist." (She wasn't very creative). She almost talked to me like I was a 5 year old...it was super weird.

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Major stupid: PrevPDoc telling us in group therapy, "Don't do drugs.."

Then finding out years later he was arrested and sentenced to ten years in Federal Prison for selling drugs to patients and non patients. At least one patient died from an overdose of pills prescribed by him.

Oh my...

'Do as I say, not as I do'...

He never said anything that seemed to me stupid but we had some funny moments when we laugh about just nothing. I remember first time we laugh when he wasn't my t yet when I said he let me to drink alcohol and he said- I never let you
Yeah, we used to laugh about nothing

Maybe he really meant "Don't do drugs unless you buy them from me"

One ex-T once told me I was healed after 5 sessions and terminated me! That was absolute bullsh*t! The only reason she said that was because I had been very active that week, and didn't act depressed... I hadn't much choice, my horse was hospitalized at clinic for his lameness and his future depended on this. Of course, I would pick myself up and do anything I could for him no matter how I felt...

Actually I'm wondering if that's the reason I always hesitate to tell current T when I'm doing well, even though she's told me she would never terminate me.

After talking about my childhood sexual traumatic experience for the first time. My ex-Ts first question was : " Did it hurt?"
Let me point out the answer was VERY obvious !

"Its nearly always the mother's fault, to me your mother gives strong vibes of being a paranoid schizophrenic."
(My mother is absolutely nothing of the sort and all she ever said to the T was "hello".)

"Do you wear makeup? If you do then you MUST care about yourself."
(Umm no, i do it to cover up the fact that I am deathly pale with horrible under eye shadows from insomnia and spots to spare others the horror of seeing me bare faced.)

"My son does karate. He really likes it." (Do i care???!!)

"You don't say much, do you?" This to me was the most hurtful thing she could have said to me. Having social anxiety inhibits me completely but there was no reason for her to make me feel stupid.

Needless to say, I fired this T straight after. Never again.

I find the therapist rarely says anything that is intelligent. She talked today and said nothing worth hearing. We will be taking a break soon.

Ikwym. Enough with the Gwyneth Paltrow comparisons already!!

I once went to a therapist who wanted me to bring my dad in for a session. I said no because I didn't want a relationship with my dad. She asked why, so I told her he ruined any chances of that early on. She asked what he did, and I said he beat my siblings, my mom, and I when we were growing up.

Her response? "Well, why didn't you leave?"

That's a stupid response to give anyone, let alone someone who was a child at the time of the abuse.

I love that you said this about your t's laugh because I absolutely love it when my t laughs!! She gets a little red, her eyes shine, and has such a great smile and laughs like her whole heart is in it. She did this funny thing the other day when she was reading me something, she read something like "do you want to learn a new grounding technique...?" When I didn't say anything she gave me this cheeky look and said "you're supposed to say yes!" Then she threw her head back and have this hilarious chuckle! Haha, I can't stop smiling thinking of that I love times like these with her

my T doesnt really say stupid stuff. he is very smart and knows me well. pdoc however is very smart but says a lot of stupid stuff. like asking the same questions over and over even tho i gave him an answer before

My pdoc is an idiot, trying to find a new one.

Our 1st session he said I will never make a good nurse if I've never had a near death, out of body experience because I wouldn't be able to understand any patients that have had them.

Three Therapist Dumb-Asseries I Have Known

(a) When my parents got frustrated that I didn't smile or laugh enough for them, my dad asked around his workplace if anyone knew a good therapist. One coworker raved about the one his kid was seeing, so I'm packed off to him. Thanks for not telling dad this was a christian therapist, coworker. To all the arguments put forth for the existence of god, we can now add:

Argument From Therapist Smugness

1. Depressed atheist late-adolescent client is honest and confesses that not only does he not believe in any god, but is disgusted with the "thought-police" aspect of the creature described in the Buy-Bull, who reads and punishes thoughts and feelings as well as actions.

2. Therapist says, condescendingly, "You have a distorted image of Christ."

3. Client is given a christian-themed sentence-completion exercise; being cynical even at that age, he completes the stem "Prayer ____________" with "induces a state of psychocatharsis."

4. Therapist reads the response, then clucks his tongue and shakes his head smugly without saying a word.

5. Therefore, God exists.

(b) Then there was the supposedly secular one who told me, "Just follow the Ten Commandments and everything will be fine." O-kayyyyyy ... so my insurance carrier and I are paying you $200 per 45-minute hour for advice I could have got from a used bible I could buy for a buck at any thrift shop???

(c) The worst: I once told a therapist I was feeling some tension at home. Just those exact words. Nothing more. Whereupon she immediately asked, "Have you ever thought about leaving your wife?" Uh ... did I give you the slightest indication the issue was within a HUNDRED MILES of that serious???

(This one apparently also thought regular bathing was oppressive. Hard to concentrate on the work when your healer fell off a garbage truck, tumbled into a sweat lodge, then tripped and fell head first into a fully loaded manure spreader.)

Me: I was never, am not now and will never be gay. I'm pretty sure I'm straight.
T: Never say never.
Me: WHAT? -_-

Mine said 'How would you feel becoming like your mother?'
I replied: 'If that ever happens, I don't want to be around anymore'.
She said: 'Good, then stop being her. Or stop being around. But I prefer the first option'.

Although I have to say that I really need it when she's so straight forward with me. The soft approach often doesn't work. But this... Let's say it made me think for a while