[StrongerMan]

I am seeing my old T again after several months. She likes EMDR but I can never seem to get much out of it. It always seems I am forcing it along and then end up going blank. I'm thinking maybe my trauma (I'm an ACoA lost child) isn't severe enough to prompt a strong reaction and natural flow of feeling and thought. Maybe I just don't get what it is supposed to do...? Has anyone been helped by this? My T described all these great breakthroughs people have.

[pattijane]

I'm a psychologist who uses EMDR therapy as my primary treatment psychotherapy and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR therapy worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Assoc. and trained by the EMDR Institute) I have used EMDR successfully with panic disorders, childhood sexual/physical/emotional abuse and neglect, single incident trauma and complex/chronic PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams and more.

To understand more about EMDR therapy, it's really crucial that the therapist spends enough time in one of the initial phases (Phase 2) in EMDR therapy that involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. You learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional, too intense. So if you start feeling overwhelmed or that it's too intense, you can ground yourself (with your therapist's help in session, and on your own between sessions) and feel safe enough to continue the work. In my practice, after the Phase 2 work lets us know that my patient is safe enough and able to cope with any emotion and/or physical sensation both during and between EMDR processing sessions, I often suggest we try a much less intense memory first if there is one that happened BEFORE the trauma(s). If there isn't one, then I suggest we start developmentally with the least disturbing memory and work our way "up" to the most disturbing event(s).

Grounding exercises are indispensable in everyday life, and really essential in stressful times. Anyone can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR therapy but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also teaches readers lots of helpful techniques that can be used immediately and that are also used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you likely were not during past events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or hand/knee tapping - all forms of bilateral stimulation that should be decided by the client for the client's comfort) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 or so passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And having a therapist who is experienced in the EMDR techniques helps make it the gentlest and safest way to neutralize bad life experiences and build resources.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions. Your therapist can use a variety of techniques to make painful processing less painful, like suggesting you turn the scene in your mind to black and white, lower the volume, or, erect a bullet-proof glass wall between you and the painful scene, and so forth. There are a lot of these kinds of "interventions" that ease the processing. They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective). Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapist questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.

In addition to my therapy practice, I roam the web looking for EMDR therapy discussions, try to answer questions about it posted by clients/patients, and respond to the critics out there. It's not a cure-all therapy. However, it really is an extraordinary psychotherapy and its results last. In the hands of a really experienced EMDR therapist, it's the most gentle way of working through disturbing experiences.

[lu2415]

T and I tried EMDR two separate times on two different small "t" traumas without any success. Like you, I felt like I was really forcing it along until I got to the point of completely going blank and just not being able to stay with T anymore. It was kind of horrible. I now think that I was dissociating, but I didn't know that then.

T said it isn't for everyone, and that you really have to be completely open to it and able to sort of talk freely (not fearful, censoring yourself in any way). That was my problem. We were able to work through the traumas successfully, without any more EMDR. Good luck with it - and don't feel pressured to keep trying it if it's not working for you. It's your therapy, do what feels right (Just because it has worked for lots of people doesn't mean it will for you, and that's okay!)

[stopdog]

I tried it and it did nothing for me so I moved on. My partner tried it and it really freaked her out and she stopped it because of that. It may help some people, but certainly not all. I have read about it helping people. I have encountered more therapists who think it has helped than clients who say it has in real life.

[someone321]

I also do not think that it works for everyone; however, I wouldn't say that it is because your "trauma isn't sever enough"... I think that, as we all are different, there is no one method which can work for all of us...

[msxyz]

You aren't required to do this, if it hasn't helped in the past then tell her that and that you don't want to try again.

[peaches100]

EMDR has not worked for me. I have C-PTSD and when I try it, I either feel locked up and can't access anything. . . or else I have painful emotional reactions that are far too upsetting to contain - and then I suffer for days between sessions. This happens regardless of having learned coping skills and going through DBT. I am somewhat dissociative, and I think that may be my problem. At some point, I tend to "lose" my normal sense of self - along with the skills I know - and become like a child being traumatized in the past who can't protect herself and is all alone. It feels retraumatizing. I can't keep my normal adult self there when it happens. We don't do EMDR anymore for those reasons.

[StrongerMan]

Thank you all for your responses and info. I guess EMDR isn't for me or maybe I was expecting too much out of it. Anyway, she referred me to a psych D so I think she feels she's done all she can for me. I am also looking into a group program that uses psychodrama. I feel the need for something different since I feel I am all talked out and need to "scrape the scabs off" my wounds, so to speak.

[Petra5ed]

Sorry to just ramble on about my thoughts here, because up front I can say I've never done EMDR! But... I've read a lot of good things about it's benefits, it has proven effectiveness, however from what I've read you need to be emotionally present with the trauma feelings during the EMDR for it to work. When you say you feel like you're forcing it, my guess is you are experiencing some issues either connecting with and feeling safe with your therapist and or disassociating (not able to be emotionally present with the pain.)

I am big on disassociating I've found out in therapy. Being an ACoA isn't "no big deal." It doesn't need to be a docudrama worthy trauma to bring about a strong emotional reaction (but there are people who have trauma's they are resilient to, it's a crap shoot). The fact is for children, troubles with parents ARE traumatizing in nature. You were a vulnerable helpless child once, dependent on your parents, beholden to them, and alcoholics are not stable at a minimum. Being an ACoA means you probably had a lot of fear in your childhood, at least for me it did. That kind of pain gets buried so we can go to school and live lives, but it can be hiding there under the surface, causing problems and spilling out in many ways, ways you might not even be aware. We become pros at tucking the bad memories and feelings away, intellectually discounting them with thoughts like "well I know why it happened, I should be over this" etc.

Parental issues like alcoholism can also frequently lead to attachment difficulties in kids, then problems compound and you are mildly afraid of people, repressing this pain, and hiding from your own emotions because it seems like the "right" way to act. But the truth is... there was a loss that must be mourned, and a pain that maybe you are just so used to pushing down you may not know if it's even there. I think it takes practice learning how to access the emotion and then be able to access it in therapy and then tuck it back away again to go on with your week until the next time. My advice would be to simply tell the EMDR person you feel like you're faking it. That might tip them off to the disassociation or whatever might be the cause of that, in which case you can work on ways to improve it.

(Take all of my theories with a grain of salt, consult a therapist, note that I am not a professional. LOL!)

[insearchofme]

Hi, a very interesting thread. I've explored emdr with my t, and it's been 50 50.
I've wondered if the fact that I simply elieve it works...causes it to work?
In any event, I'm going to continue exploring it as an option. I agree sometimes it does feel a bit forced or like I'm faking it. My t did say that emdr can have an impact not only during the session but for a fe hours or days following the therapy. Interesting.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

My reaction to EMDR was much like peaches'. In Jan. did uncover some previously hidden traumas, but was then unable to contain my emotions. I dissociated for about 5 weeks for one memory. Ultimately my T and i decided that either it wasn't right for me or it wasn't the right time.

I'm now in a PTSD support group and I've sorta decided that if I wasn't meant to remember the abuse, it would be best not to go looking for it.

Still, I'd try it to see if it worked for you.

[pattijane]

No therapy should be used to recall forgotten memories. Memories are buried for good reasons. And memory is fallible. Indeed, often purposely recalled memory can create false memories. In any event, EMDR is NOT used to recall buried memories.

I'm a psychologist who uses EMDR therapy as my primary treatment psychotherapy and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety, panic, grief, and “small t” trauma. As a client, EMDR therapy worked extremely well and also really fast. As an EMDR therapist, and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR therapy (certified by the EMDR International Assoc. and trained by the EMDR Institute) I have used EMDR successfully with panic disorders, childhood sexual/physical/emotional abuse and neglect, single incident trauma and complex/chronic PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief, body image, phobias, distressing memories, bad dreams and more.

One of the initial phases (Phase 2) in EMDR psychotherapy involves preparing for memory processing or desensitization (memory processing or desensitization - phases 3-6 - is often what is referred to as "EMDR" which is actually an 8-phase method of psychotherapy). In this phase resources are "front-loaded" so that you have a "floor" or "container" to help with processing the really hard stuff, as well as creating strategies if you're triggered in everyday life. In Phase 2 you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. So if you start feeling overwhelmed or that it's too intense, you can ground yourself (with your therapist's help in session, and on your own between sessions) and feel safe enough to continue the work. There is a special EMDR protocol for dissociative disorders and complex PTSD. The treatment of trauma and dissociation with EMDR (or any therapy) requires special/extra training. Be absolutely certain the therapist has specialized training in DD, as well as advanced training in EMDR therapy. Neither EMDR nor any psychotherapy should go digging for memories. Memories are gone - may be buried/held in different parts - for good reasons. It's really a brilliant protection. Always talk with your therapist at the beginning of your work about what you already know is grounding for you.

In my practice, after the Phase 2 work lets us know that my patient is safe enough and able to cope with any emotion and/or physical sensation both during and between EMDR processing sessions, I often suggest we try a much less intense memory first if there is one that happened BEFORE the trauma(s). If there isn't one, then I suggest we start developmentally with the least disturbing memory and work our way "up" to the most disturbing event(s).

Grounding exercises are indispensable in everyday life, and really essential in stressful times. Anyone can use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR therapy but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also teaches readers lots of helpful techniques that can be used immediately and that are also used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.

One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you likely were not during past events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand, or hand/knee tapping - all forms of bilateral stimulation that should be decided by the client for the client's comfort) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 or so passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable.

Pacing and dosing are critically important. So if you ever feel that EMDR processing is too intense then it might be time to go back over all the resources that should be used both IN session and BETWEEN sessions. Your therapist can use a variety of techniques to make painful processing less painful, like suggesting you turn the scene in your mind to black and white, lower the volume, or, erect a bullet-proof glass wall between you and the painful scene, and so forth. There are a lot of these kinds of "interventions" that ease the processing. They are called "cognitive interweaves" that your therapist can use, and that also can help bring your adult self's perspective into the work (or even an imaginary Adult Perspective). Such interweaves are based around issues of Safety, Responsibility, and Choice. So therapist questions like "are you safe now?" or "who was responsible? and "do you have more choices now?" are all very helpful in moving the processing along.

In addition to my therapy practice, I roam the web looking for EMDR therapy discussions, try to answer questions about it posted by clients/patients, and respond to the critics out there. It's not a cure-all therapy. However, it really is an extraordinary psychotherapy and its results last. In the hands of a really experienced EMDR therapist, it's the most gentle way of working through disturbing experiences.

EMDR is great! It has changed my life so far from a few sessions. My depression went from a 9 to a 1 after my first session. It went back up a little bit, but it never got to the point where it was a 9. I have a lot of trauma, but I can tell a huge part of my trauma has left my brain. I'd recommend looking into it. It can save lives.

Check out the link in my signature. We can help build an EMDR community!