[skysblue]

So, before T can initiate the discussion, I brought it up myself. Being proactive feels more empowering than being reactive.

Termination. Yep, the word that brings terror into some of our hearts.

But, it seems I don't need T anymore. I love my sessions with her. I look forward to sessions with her. I enjoy my contact with her. (Heck, she even did a home session once with me when her office space wasn't available).

Yet, I'm not in dire straits anymore. I've found myself (so to speak). I understand myself now. I am able to live a more authentic life now. I am able to 'manage' my emotions much better now.

I am no longer 'crippled' by fear, anger and shame.

Is there a compelling reason to keep seeing her? I want to but I also don't believe I 'need' to.

She and I have agreed to discuss it next session.

Have any of you initiated termination because you believe you're 'done'?

[rainbow8]

Unfortunately, I never have but I'm happy for you! I've wondered how you're doing and glad to hear good news.

[Asiablue]

I still have a lot of work to do so even reading that word, termination, does strike fear in my heart. It's really good to hear you're ready to fly the nest! Have you thought about how you'd like to honour the process? Terminating over a long period, any " graduation" ritual you'd like to do?

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

I still have a lot of work to do so even reading that word, termination, does strike fear in my heart. It's really good to hear you're ready to fly the nest! Have you thought about how you'd like to honour the process? Terminating over a long period, any " graduation" ritual you'd like to do?

Well, I'm hoping I won't terminate. I like 'reporting' to T how well I'm handling stressful situations. I like discussing (intellectually) aspects of emotions, psychotherapy, the brain, etc. I like showing off to her all of the positive changes I've made in my life, my attitudes, my emotions. And I like her feedback.

But I don't NEED her. And I don't know if the above reasons are enough to continue with her. She's very busy and cannot take on new clients. I feel slightly guilty for taking up space that might be used by someone more needy than myself.

In any case, I know I won't terminate quickly. But it feels like that possibility looms ahead of me.

I've tried to terminate 3 times at least... T talked me out of it twice and the last time I told her I was taking a long break but I was back w/in 3 months. She told me a month or so ago that she knows I want to be "done" but that she honestly does not think that I am yet. I finally have been able to face my "money monster" as she calls it and we worked out doing 25 min sessions so I can afford it, which has been helpful also because I find I don't waste time with stammering around now near as much. I'm to a point now where life is "good enough" but I know it can get better so now I talk to her cuz I "want" to more than cuz I have to. If that makes sense.

In my secret heart of hearts, of course, I don't want to ever let go of this most unique relationship - the therapeutic relationship is truly like no other when it works!

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[Anne2.0]

I think there is inherent wisdom in you bringing up the topic yourself and where you feel with it. I think you're ready to begin thinking about the process. That doesn't mean you should have your last session next week, next month, or even necessarily next year. But therapy is one place where we really get to choose our "happy ending." That said, I wonder whether you want to cultivate joy in the ending of therapy-- if that might be one goal, rather than just a singular focus on the absence of a specific "need" for therapy. It's okay to stay in therapy because you want to, not just because you need to. That's an investment in yourself, an "exercise" (which I intend to mean as something one does regularly, keeping the muscles toned) in self care.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

It's okay to stay in therapy because you want to, not just because you need to. That's an investment in yourself, an "exercise" (which I intend to mean as something one does regularly, keeping the muscles toned) in self care.

That's the part I've been wondering about. T is the only local person I have. All of my friends and family live elsewhere. So do I want to keep seeing her because she's the only flesh and blood person in my neighborhood I can talk to? Is that a good enough reason?

I'm so glad I have a relationship with T in which we can honestly explore this issue.

[growlycat]

If you are ready, you're ready.

If you have any doubt, maybe you can see her once every few months or so, if she is willing.

[Miswimmy1]

I had a t once tell me that some people know when they are done. And others, while the storm has passed so to speak, still remain in therapy (sometimes indefinitely) because it gives them structure and allows them an outlet for whatever comes up in life. For some, therapy is essential. They don't necessarily have to have something pressing to talk about each week. But it gives them comfort knowing that there is someone there to talk to regardless. I know that some people and some therapists would frown upon that sort of therapeutic relationship. But I think for other people, it might be right. I think it's a decision that each individual has to make for themselves with their therapist. I would talk to your t. You may find that you want to stop therapy and see how it goes. You can always come back or see someone else.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by skysblue

So, before T can initiate the discussion, I brought it up myself. Being proactive feels more empowering than being reactive.

Termination. Yep, the word that brings terror into some of our hearts.

But, it seems I don't need T anymore. I love my sessions with her. I look forward to sessions with her. I enjoy my contact with her. (Heck, she even did a home session once with me when her office space wasn't available).

Yet, I'm not in dire straits anymore. I've found myself (so to speak). I understand myself now. I am able to live a more authentic life now. I am able to 'manage' my emotions much better now.

I am no longer 'crippled' by fear, anger and shame.

Is there a compelling reason to keep seeing her? I want to but I also don't believe I 'need' to.

She and I have agreed to discuss it next session.

Have any of you initiated termination because you believe you're 'done'?

i bring up termination several times a month. my t says its bc im afraid shes going to terminate me so I want to leave before she has a chance to do it to me.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by skysblue

That's the part I've been wondering about. T is the only local person I have. All of my friends and family live elsewhere. So do I want to keep seeing her because she's the only flesh and blood person in my neighborhood I can talk to? Is that a good enough reason?

I'm so glad I have a relationship with T in which we can honestly explore this issue.

It's a good enough reason if you want it to be.

To me it sounds like saying "now that I've reached my target weight I just can't justify keeping up my gym membership."

You feel that therapy has been helpful, you like going and there's stuff to talk about--it's just that you know you can manage without it. There's no rule that says you have be desperately dysfunctional to deserve therapy. Having a greater sense of well-being sounds like an excellent reason to keep going.

[Restin]

I believe that's the way every therapy should be!!!Instead of the patient dreading the "the end", it should be the patient having done all the work he/she needs to and is looking for other things to do with the time and money. I believe a good therapist brings the patient to this stage with good therapy.
Praises to you! And maybe, even, as life goes on you may decide at a different place in life, you might want to talk to someone again.

[NoddaProbBob]

How often do you see your T? Maybe if you don't feel like you need her, you can space out your sessions?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay. Therapy is helpful in so many ways. Think of it as an exercise in self care. Having that connection with someone you trust is invaluable.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I have terminated because I was done.

I've also re-started when something significant happened.

Congratulations on all the hard work you've done and the progress you've made! Enjoy living your new, hard-fought life

[Ford Puma]

Originally Posted by skysblue

So, before T can initiate the discussion, I brought it up myself. Being proactive feels more empowering than being reactive.

Termination. Yep, the word that brings terror into some of our hearts.

But, it seems I don't need T anymore. I love my sessions with her. I look forward to sessions with her. I enjoy my contact with her. (Heck, she even did a home session once with me when her office space wasn't available).

Yet, I'm not in dire straits anymore. I've found myself (so to speak). I understand myself now. I am able to live a more authentic life now. I am able to 'manage' my emotions much better now.

I am no longer 'crippled' by fear, anger and shame.

Is there a compelling reason to keep seeing her? I want to but I also don't believe I 'need' to.

She and I have agreed to discuss it next session.

Have any of you initiated termination because you believe you're 'done'?

I think this is great news for you skysblue. Best of luck from here on.

[anilam]

Originally Posted by skysblue

That's the part I've been wondering about. T is the only local person I have. All of my friends and family live elsewhere. So do I want to keep seeing her because she's the only flesh and blood person in my neighborhood I can talk to? Is that a good enough reason?

I'm so glad I have a relationship with T in which we can honestly explore this issue.

I was about to write yes, sure, keep with it as long as you'd like. However, if you are actually substituting real RS with a therapeutic one it might be a problem....
Finding new friends is difficult, trust me, I know

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by NoddaProbBob

How often do you see your T? Maybe if you don't feel like you need her, you can space out your sessions?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay. Therapy is helpful in so many ways. Think of it as an exercise in self care. Having that connection with someone you trust is invaluable.

Because of our schedules, it's happening that I see her only about once or twice a month so we're automatically decreasing contact.

But, I'm noticing in myself that I still look forward to seeing her. I'm not desperate like in the past and I could go weeks with no problem but I DO love meeting with her to review how I am able to handle my emotions now.

I think it's kinda like a child who wants to show off to Mommy some school work that received good grades.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by anilam

I was about to write yes, sure, keep with it as long as you'd like. However, if you are actually substituting real RS with a therapeutic one it might be a problem....
Finding new friends is difficult, trust me, I know

I don't think I'm substituting real RS with mine with T. I do have friends to confide in and to share with, just not locally.

I can never go 'play' with T - no out to coffee, no going to the movies, no hanging out at the beach. Nope, T cannot be a friend but I still value my association with her.

[BeGentle]

I think you'll know when you know. There won't be a question. Maybe the fact that you're questioning whether this is the right time is an indicator that it is not time yet. Ending therapy is actually just as important as starting the process. It's a whole other process too. I look forward to feeling that good one day, instead of constantly trying to push away and run from him.