Attachment disorder - how does it affect other relationships?

I think I'm realizing I have an attachment disorder - disorganized attachment. I go back and forth between wanting to be close to my T. and wanting to stop it. My mom was very unpredictable in response to me and my emotions if I ever showed any.

Does this type of disorder only affect close family members you would normally attach to or does it affect other relationships as well? I haven't read anything about it and do plan to ask my T. today. Although, right now she's more into me feeling emotions than learning the concepts.

Yes, attachment disorders impact on the way you feel about and relate to others in your life. I have a fearful-avoidant style of attachment, which means I avoid getting close to others, yet desperately want to be close to others. I deeply long for close relationships, but my fear of rejection and abandonment prevent me from allowing others near. My childhood was full of chaos, CSA, DV and neglect, so I guess it's not too difficult to see how that type of attachment developed. I'm still learning, so interested to hear from others.

It affects every relationship. You attach to everyone, that's the emotional bond that holds the relationship together, whether it's friends, parents, or your husband.

Just FYI, a disorganized (also called fearful avoidant) attachment style as an adult is not considered a diagnosable disorder, as attachment disorders are currently only diagnosed in children.

Attachment styles tend to be most obvious in intimate relationships, but I'm sure it could influence a lot more than that. What is your experience?

Wanted to point out that just because they're only diagnosable in childhood doesn't mean they don't exist in adults.

From my understanding there are four types of attachment (which can be seen in adults as well as children):

Secure;
Anxious–preoccupied;
Dismissive–avoidant;and
Fearful–avoidant

I haven't been diagnosed with an attachment disorder. I just fit the description of the fearful - avoidant attachment style.

I guess as an adult its called a choice? Like you cant run away from home as a kid, but you can go missing as an adult if you want to.

I don't think that simply having an attachment style of one sort or another always rises to the level of a disorder.

I don't think I've noticed it in other relationships but haven't really put a lot of thought into it. I am VERY guarded with my T. I read the blog Tales of a Boundary Ninja which is VERY helpful to put words to what I'm going through in therapy since I wasn't tought how to express my emotions. And, her entry on attachment was dead on me - why in the world does this one person matter so much to me. And, wanting desperately to be close to T. yet put up a wall the next session.
I told her a ton of things last session and wrote in my journal the next 2 days how great it was and that I can now tell her anything. I went on a trip and wrote later in the week that I hate that I have any feelings towards her and that I told her so much. This is me weekly - open up, regret, open up, regret.

I think it is evident in all of my relationships. I have an anxious-insecure attachment pattern. I also wonder if attachment difficulties may play a role in many mental health issues.

I definitely have an attachment disorder, but it does not affect all of my relaitonships. In fact, it doesn't affect my peer relationships at all. It doesn't affect my relationship with my husband. It only comes into play in my relationship with my t and other older women I have become extremely attached to in an attempt to get that "mothering" that I never felt as a child.

Yes, adults have attachment styles, too, and they can have problems with attachment. A child with an insecure attachment style is not considered to have a disorder unless the problem is very severe in which case they can be diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. An adult with very severe attachment problems, on the other hand, might be diagnosed with a personality disorder but not RAD. Personally I'm not a big fan of how the DSM breaks things down, but I figure it's helpful for people to know in understanding how they might have gotten or not gotten a particular diagnosis.

It doesn't matter what you call it. An attachment disorder means something is amiss with how you relate to others. It's gonna show up in every single relationship you have, to one degree or another. You may not always be aware of it - it's your 'normal', after all, but it's there.

I look at attachment style as a way of relating, coping, and getting our needs met. This may play out in ways people might not think to attribute to attachment style, but I feel has to do with attachment style. For instance, the anxious insecure has a tendency to want to move toward others to get needs met and the avoidant insecure has a tendency to move away from others to get needs met. Ever have an disagreement with a friend and want desperately to talk things through (anxious) while they withdraw (avoidant)?