[Asiablue]

Is therapy always the answer to dealing with childhood trauma do you think? Are there other ways, other things that I could do that would help?

I am on a break from therapy after a pretty big rupture and I have found that in absence of therapy I am not nearly as worked up and anxious. Something about therapy and the attachment to my therapist really gets me worked up and scared. Sometimes I wonder what I'm putting myself through this for?And is therapy really the best way forward for me? Maybe I'm just not suited to it. Maybe I just need to find acceptance for the way I am and work within my limitations. Maybe I just need to accept that some damage was done and it shaped who I am today.

Sometimes it feels like I am constantly picking at a wound that needs to be left alone. I have been such a believer in therapy being the thing that's going to finally help me. And maybe if I stick at it, it will. But the turbulence of the process; the aching sadness and never ending highs and lows of it all just make me wonder if there's an alternative to therapy. I read somewhere today about yoga helping with trauma responses in the body. Ive read before other therapies like cranial sacral or other body therapies help too. I wonder if they can help on their own without also having therapy.

Anyone have any insight into finding healing through other methods?

[Altered Moment]

I am not expert but I think once you gain a very good understanding of how past events have effected you, like what patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, relationship patterns and so on, it is time to move on. It's counter productive to keep digging it all up and analyzing it to death and dwelling on it. That doesn't mean those old wounds are all healed but there are ways to heal in the present. I would switch to CBT or DBT which focuses on changing thinking, feeling, and behavior in the present. Also the best way to heal is having a good support network that will validate, understand, not judge, accept, and love you.

I am sure things like yoga, meditation, reiki, etc are healing, I believe. Maybe CBT along with the alternative stuff.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

I am not expert but I think once you gain a very good understanding of how past events have effected you, like what patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, relationship patterns and so on, it is time to move on. It's counter productive to keep digging it all up and analyzing it to death and dwelling on it. That doesn't mean those old wounds are all healed but there are ways to heal in the present. I would switch to CBT or DBT which focuses on changing thinking, feeling, and behavior in the present. Also the best way to heal is having a good support network that will validate, understand, not judge, accept, and love you.

I am sure things like yoga, meditation, reiki, etc are healing, I believe. Maybe CBT along with the alternative stuff.

I think I definitely still have work to do with being consciously aware of patterns of thinking, feeling, behaving and relationship patterns etc. And I definitely think DBT would be good for me to learn but there's no one who offers it in my area.

i agree that getting a good support network is paramount. Something I am trying to work on. But it's a slow process.

Right now I'm just wondering about taking any type of therapy out the equation and concentrating on alternative healing.

[HazelGirl]

Other methods do not have any sort of scientific basis to them. Often, they claim things that aren't true or that they don't have solid evidence for. I tend to stay away from those types of "cures".

Yes, therapy is ridiculously hard. Really, really freaking hard. It might appear that you are better without it, but there must have been a reason you started. Sometimes, I want to quit, too. But I also know if I don't deal with this crap now, it will come out in other ways and will cause me even more pain. I have to keep at it, even when it is hard.

[stopdog]

The second one I see has explained that therapy does not cure anything, and it won't stop all reaction or anxiety or whatever, but it can make it so one recognizes what is going on and it does not last as long or disable one anymore.
I find meditation (there have been studies on its effectiveness), qi gong, exercise, etc to be of great use. And I don't think therapy is the only way.

[boredporcupine]

There are lots of things that have helped people heal besides therapy. Yoga, meditation, sports, pottery, drama, I'm sure the list of what has helped someone could go on and on. No I don't think therapy is the only way.

I will say though that when therapy was doing more harm than good for me in terms or stirring up too much stuff, it was because I had the wrong T who didn't know how to manage the speed or contain things in session or help me regulate stuff. After I switched T's things got a lot smoother. The first one was just great at bringing out all the deep stuff but she wasn't doing anything to make things stable and predictable. Working with an emotionally under-regulated client is not the same as working with an over-regulated one and some T's don't seem to understand that. Hopefully that makes sense...

Depends what the question is....

[Altered Moment]

There is scientific evidence for meditation. I can post the link later.

CBT is something you can teach yourself.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Petra5ed]

Yes, yoga is good, and so are most other forms of exercise, also being social, meditating... I've also read that if you find a very nice significant other that can provide a healing experience.

I've read that sometimes T's subtly encourage anxiety and depression, kind of like you want to have something to talk about to stay interesting for them, so you keep manufacturing issues.

[HealingTimes]

I don't believe that therapy is always the answer.

Most of the time when an ex-therapy client says someone thing like "I find it better now that I am not in therapy" people misconstrue that as the ex-client not facing up to their issues, or trying to bury their issues.

However, for some people, therapy doesn't help. In fact not only does it 'not help' it can make things worse.
Also, some people are better off having CBT instead of therapies that involve talking at great length about their past.

I also think that many people stay in therapy for longer than necessary because they don't have any support networks or because they like their T and don't want to leave. I believe that this can make a client feel worse about their past traumas because the T ( and therefore the client) talks about the trauma as expected in therapy, therefore keeping it in the clients mind and struggling to move on and put it behind them.

Of course, this is just my opinion and I don't have anything to back it up...yet.

[stopdog]

Timely blog posts with some research and statistics:
How Yoga & Meditation Increase Creativity & Healthy Emotions | Psychology Today

and

Is it Time to Fire My Therapist? | Psychology Today

I am probably the least religious/spiritual person I know of - and meditation is something I have done for over 25 years - I find it very beneficial. No therapist has ever pushed it on me or even really talked much to me about it.

[guilloche]

I think breaks can be great. They can give us a chance to consolidate what we've learned in T and practice it in the real world, without all the stress of having new stuff constantly poked and prodded!

I also think a lot depends on your goals, and as others have said, the support network you have.

I took ~7 years off from therapy. All that previous therapy was awful and making things worse. I put the effort into getting my life to be stable and calm, and one of the things that helped was taking music lessons. My teacher is awesome, and very therapeutic - he's very appropriately caring and consistent in a way that none of my previous Ts have been!

I'm at the point now where I'm going to therapy, but I feel a little better able to deal with it, because of the stability I've been building in my life. It's not all happy-happy, but I'm much more stable I think than I was 10 years ago. We'll see.

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by boredporcupine

Working with an emotionally under-regulated client is not the same as working with an over-regulated one and some T's don't seem to understand that. Hopefully that makes sense...

BoredPorcupine... would you mind saying a little more about this? I'm not sure that I'm understanding what "over-regulated" and "under-regulated" means... and this sounds like something that has been an issue for me in therapy as well.

Thanks!

I don't think it's the answer and a lot of the time it can make us worse. I have been reading the Peter Levin book, waking the tiger about trauma and he seems to think therapy does not work and in most cases can re traumatise the client as they are forced to talk about the trauma and in essence they start to relive it. He suggests and u have done a bit about this in my therapy training that there are certain trauma releasing exercises that release the pent up energy we store from experiencing trauma.
The reason animals recover so fast and self heal is that their bodies shake after a trauma and release the energy straight away but we humans don't so this and we carry our trauma until we can successfully release it.
The body remembers everything and our cells store every memory even the ones our mind tries to forget. Our body never lies and most of our language in therapy is through body language, 70%. Which, I believe is one of the reasons gestalt is so effective as it mostly does body work.
So, what I am trying to say in a long winded kind of way is these alternative therapies are very effective for releasing trauma and sometimes talking is not the answer

[boredporcupine]

BoredPorcupine... would you mind saying a little more about this? I'm not sure that I'm understanding what "over-regulated" and "under-regulated" means... and this sounds like something that has been an issue for me in therapy as well.

Sure. "Over-regulated" means someone who has their emotions under too much control which causes a problem for them. For example, they may feel just "blah" or like they aren't really living, or their significant others may complain that they are cold or distant. In that case it may make sense for a T to really encourage them to feel more.

"Under-regulated" means someone's feelings are all over the place which is causing problems for them. For example they may be in crisis, crying a lot or acting out in anger. In that case it may make sense for a T to help the client distract herself sometimes or get some distance from her feelings. These are the kinds of people who DBT is designed to help for example.

Really it's not that simple since some people may have a combination of both, but it's just one way of looking at things.

[guilloche]

Thanks BoredPorcupine! That makes sense!

[missbella]

Since my wildly unsuccessful therapy, I've done my best to discard the entire framework and vocabulary installed, trying to live life in more immediate, rather than theoretical terms. (That's not easy.)

Therapy did nothing but leave me more self-pitying and persecuted, reinforcing that anointed people, like therapists, had a wherewithall and life wisdom I lacked. It wasn't until years later that I realized people who pretend to have Life's Answers--don't.

What did help, exercise, yoga, travel, work accomplishments, achieving competence, pursuing goals, friendships, observing people with traits I admired. Therapy was not a short-cut for more maturity. (I'm still a square peg, but a far less tentative and anxious one.)

Originally Posted by boredporcupine

Sure. "Over-regulated" means someone who has their emotions under too much control which causes a problem for them. For example, they may feel just "blah" or like they aren't really living, or their significant others may complain that they are cold or distant. In that case it may make sense for a T to really encourage them to feel more.

And to complicate things further, there well can be a disparity between a client's appearance and what she really feels. While seeming "too under control" a person actually may bearing such a constant burden of anxiety/fear, that they appear distant.

But it's a good point, that therapists can assume one size fits all. Additionally, they're types who'll leap to involve in other people's problems, maybe not understanding those with an opposite approach to the world.

[Partless]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Is therapy always the answer to dealing with childhood trauma do you think? Are there other ways, other things that I could do that would help?

I am on a break from therapy after a pretty big rupture and I have found that in absence of therapy I am not nearly as worked up and anxious. Something about therapy and the attachment to my therapist really gets me worked up and scared. Sometimes I wonder what I'm putting myself through this for?And is therapy really the best way forward for me? Maybe I'm just not suited to it. Maybe I just need to find acceptance for the way I am and work within my limitations. Maybe I just need to accept that some damage was done and it shaped who I am today.

Sometimes it feels like I am constantly picking at a wound that needs to be left alone. I have been such a believer in therapy being the thing that's going to finally help me. And maybe if I stick at it, it will. But the turbulence of the process; the aching sadness and never ending highs and lows of it all just make me wonder if there's an alternative to therapy. I read somewhere today about yoga helping with trauma responses in the body. Ive read before other therapies like cranial sacral or other body therapies help too. I wonder if they can help on their own without also having therapy.

Anyone have any insight into finding healing through other methods?

Sorry for your childhood trauma experiences.

As far as therapy being always the answer, in my opinion it never is the ONLY answer. Psychotherapy is a fairly new invention, a new method. But abuse and trauma go back the whole of human history. So there are many methods to consider, like yoga, that you did mention. And if you do want to stay with therapy, there are many different kinds of therapy, some of which focus on here and now and don't keep "picking at a wound that needs to be left alone."

Only issue I would mention is that make sure you're not leaving therapy at an important point, for two reasons. One, you may be more vulnerable so try to get closure of some sort and feel better before leaving. Two, you may actually be moving in the right direction despite frustrations you are experiencing and maybe things will get better after this. But all of it depends on what you know better, about the kind of therapy you getting and how long you been in therapy and what sorts of results you've got. It may be that this has worked as much it could have and just time to say goodbye...

[ThisWayOut]

I think everyone heals differently. Therapy does not work for everyone. Just like meds do not work for everyone, nor does dbt or cbt.
if you are finding more balance out of therapy, more power to you. Yoga has been noted to help with mental illnesses. I'm guessing it's the meditation and discipline it fosters. You can also continue on your own with art expression. Music has been shown to help, as well as a number of other interventions.
I'm also a believer that just because studies have not been done, or have not shown correlation, it doesn't mean that the intervention or practice helps no one. I've tried several "empirically proven" methods for healing that have simply made me worse (despite mounds of research "proving" that it should be helpful. I've also made great strides using other interventions like animal therapies, art, & music. The tons of research does not yet exist on a lot of that, but people are studying it as more people are finding it helpful.
In short, do what feels right. If therapy doesn't feel like it helps, give it a break and focus on other things... there's actually a fb support group where many members do not engage in therapy. They may have other resources. Msg if you want the group name. I'm not on there a whole lot, but it's a good resource for me when I am.

I think therapy runs the risk of making you feel/seem worse than you are. Focusing on problems and trauma enlarges them in your mind. Getting out to do healthy things like yoga and meditation or even more athletic pursuits can really re-set your system. Then, if you feel you need to talk things out in therapy, you're in a better place to know what you want to get out of it.

[tony fudo]

Well, I can definitely say that yoga works for me, when everything else that I've tried (therapy, long periods on anti depressants) did little in dealing with my long term problems with depression, anger, alcohol abuse etc. I have been concentrating on my practice for several years now, and I cannot imagine being without it.

I have had some lessons, but I mainly work on my own. It is best to start with a teacher so that your practice is safe. This must be your first consideration. Err on the side of caution. Also, there are so many different approaches. If, like me, your principal concern is to achieve inner peace, perhaps most traditional approaches, rather than 'Yogacise' classes are best.

Is very much an individual thing. I tried meditation, but with limited success. I think that yoga and meditation get you to the same place, but I found the body awareness, movement awareness, and so on involved in yoga fitted in with me.

I think one thing that keeps me at it, is that I try to make it as enjoyable as I can. I have worked to make a really nice environment for my practice, using incence, sound, and imagery so that its sort of about art as well! I have developed a routine that works for me. And I take it easy. To me, its about how I'm going to be next year, not next week. Also, I go to a 'proper' class, occasionally. You can always learn.

For me, the main thing is learning how to let go of the negativity in my life, instead of clinging on to it. All that anger and pain that would just keep going round and round, in the worst of times from when I woke up, till when I fell asleep, and then a night of bad dreams and fractured sleep.

I'm not saying that I'm 100% cured, but just better than I was, and off meds, and seldom binge drinking etc. Good luck if its what you'd decide to do. Take it easy. And you don't have to do either yoga or therapy. Do both!

No, it isn't necessary and sometimes causes way more damage to the client. I think it causes one to be very self focused and also focused on the past or whatever which takes away from the present. And that is sad.

[Virginia1991]

Asiablue- I could have written your post word for word. That is exactly how I feel right at this moment. I do therapy once a week and probably would have stopped by now if I wasn't so attached to my therapist:-/ I do cranial sacral/reiki once every two weeks. It has been the most healing thing I have ever done.

[Asiablue]

Thanks everyone for all the opinions on this, it's been really interesting to read.

I think that if I continue in therapy, I will benefit from it. If I go back and this rupture can be mended it would be hugely beneficial in the long-term.
I have made great progress in therapy over the past few years and learned a lot. But as you all know it is a slow painful process.

The trouble I seem to have in therapy is with the inevitable attachment stuff that come from sharing an emotional space with someone not so much the childhood trauma stuff. I know I need to resolve this dynamic that triggers and plays out. And maybe I am running away from dealing with it by considering not going back to therapy.

I feel like by not returning, I have unfinished business. But at the same time, I dread going back to all the deep difficult emotions that are stirred up. The main thing that probably is drawing me back IS the attachment to my therapist, however tentative that attachment is. I miss her.

To not go back... it's kind of like knowing you have cancer but choosing not to have treatment that will help because the treatment in the short time makes you feel really sick.

It's sort of short-sighted in a way because short-term, I want to feel better, not feel so tormented and anxious but really that's just avoiding what's already there. By not going to therapy I am leaving it all dormant, but not getting rid of it.

I suppose I'm wondering about other holistic therapies in an attempt to find a way to deal with my bodies trauma responses. I wonder if I could get that under control if I could then cope with the therapy stuff better?

I wish I could make my mind up with what to do.