Couch 82: If you're happy and you know it, be a number!

CantExplain · Dec 08, 2014, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NowhereUSA

But it's off from my regular sleep schedule and since I'm headed towards my mid-30s, it's like my body says, "YOU SHALL PAAAAAYYYY...." :P

I'm in my mid fifties and haven't paid yet. I think denial is the key.

NowhereUSA · Dec 08, 2014, 05:02 PM

I think the problem these days is I feel like in the US I have to two crappy options to choose from. This last time I went to vote against a guy. That's how I thought about it. It wasn't that I was voting FOR the guy I filled in the bubble it's that I wanted to vote against the other guy.

Not that it mattered. My state votes the same way every stinkin' time. We'd vote for a tree if it were from this particular party.

stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 05:04 PM

My voting is always the choice against the other side. I think they all suck, so I go with the lesser of evils rather than someone that I'm really for.

Dec 08, 2014, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

My voting is always the choice against the other side. I think they all suck, so I go with the lesser of evils rather than someone that I'm really for.

I feel the same way when I vote most of the time.

JustShakey · Dec 08, 2014, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Because the life you want is not the life you had. You don't want your life back, you want a new life. That takes a lot of work.

Have you made a list?

Well, I want my own life back - to do what I want rather than what others want me to. I've never really lived for myself, so it's a little scary, even if it's what I really want.

And yes, I have a list. It's as long as my arm and it feels like there are never enough hours in the day to get everything done. And then the depression and anxiety butts in and gets in the way.

But in good news I have tea!

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NowhereUSA · Dec 08, 2014, 05:29 PM

JS, I feel similar. I grew up a military brat. Not only did I have to behave because of my father's job (he could get in trouble for my misdeeds), but I also had to move at a whim (ever 2-3 years). And complaining felt terrible because my dad was serving his country. Then after college the military takes back your ID and you're... well you don't know what you are.

Ended up married and then moving all over the place for my husband's job and education. Having kids... and all that stuff. I realized so much of my life I've just done what I thought I was supposed to and blah blah blah.

Now I've finally gotten the guts to tell my husband I hate where we live and want to go somewhere else (but ugh another move - I've literally never lived in the same domicile longer than 3 years). He's working on it but it'll take time

In the mean time I stare at the cornfield across the street in sadness.

stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 05:35 PM

One of the saddest things I know is that my sibling believes he did not make choices but just went along with what was expected and he is miserable.

Dec 08, 2014, 05:36 PM

Why on earth are these headline news stories.
https://au.sports.yahoo.com/tennis/n...tennis-tumble/

https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/new-i...g-120-million/

StressedMess · Dec 08, 2014, 05:41 PM

I have snugly and snide and snotty cats and all they do is cost me money!

Dec 08, 2014, 05:44 PM

I am really ****ed off, all my life I have lived with muscle spasms, jerkiness etc caused by cerebral palsy. Since taking the cogentin about 5 days ago I have noticed my jerkiness, spasms etc are lessening. Turns out cogentin is drug that also works for people with cerebral palsy. I mean I could have had less spastic symptoms and not lurch about like Frankensteins monster yet no one suggested it. I didn't think it was treatable so I never asked before.

stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 05:47 PM

For the people who like to futz around with coffee making:
Brew Methods ? Home

NowhereUSA · Dec 08, 2014, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

One of the saddest things I know is that my sibling believes he did not make choices but just went along with what was expected and he is miserable.

I certainly recognize now thst I made choices (well, I did when I was older - kind of hard to have a say on what's going on when you're under 18). I just didn't think I had a choice then. I was so used to doing what I was expected to do that it never occurred to me to decide differently. It's taken time in therapy to realize this and to start stepping up to the plate which is why I told my H what I did and he's a good guy and wants me to be satisfied with my life too. Part of that is getting back to school and doing graduate work.

Dec 08, 2014, 06:04 PM

My son (just turned 16 last month) found out today that he has a summer job lined up, as part of a program that he's in the running for a college scholarship for. This mama is bursting with pride!!!

NowhereUSA · Dec 08, 2014, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artemis-within

My son (just turned 16 last month) found out today that he has a summer job lined up, as part of a program that he's in the running for a college scholarship for. This mama is bursting with pride!!!

Congrats!!

That's exciting - you should be proud!

stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 06:50 PM

gah - I just watched an In Treatment re-run. I effing hate those therapist guys. If I had seen the show before I went back to try therapy again - I never would have done it for fear of ending up with a smarmy, suffocating "I so care" controlly guy like Paul. As flawed as the first one I see is and possibly as inadequate, she does at least stay back.

JustShakey · Dec 08, 2014, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

If fact, very few people are on assistance by choice. The Welfare Queen is largely a myth.

Don't be so sure - my work hires a lot of seasonal people. The same people come back year after year - they spend 10 months out of the year on welfare and work for two. While they're working they're usually still getting assistance too because the renewal comes up every 4-6 months.

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stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 07:05 PM

In my line of work I found it to be largely a myth. Some people take advantage of the system, but a lot of people do not.

sidney1771 · Dec 08, 2014, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

Saw t on Friday.. He said a couple of things that made me think. 1. It's been three years that I have been working with him, and he has never seen me cry once. He thinks it's b/c I still very highly guarded and have my defenses up, I am not getting in touch with the emotions surrounding my trauma. I seriously, can't be the only knew who hasn't cried in therapy after an extended amount of time in therapy? 2. Talking about people being better off without me.. He said that he can't speak for anybody else, but he would be devastated if I were "gone." How am I supposed to believe this? Should this matter to me?

We left the session with him asking me to check in with him tomorrow at some point so I can "contract" for my safety. Which I can deal with because he said he was feeling insecure about my promise to be safe between then and my next session with him.

Life kind of sucks right now.

My T actually cried on my once in telling me that I would be missed. How's that for guilt and a reversal.

sidney1771 · Dec 08, 2014, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Now the man who is not really there is standing near the fridge.
As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh How I wish he'd go away.

Was that Ogden Nash
no apparently it was someone called Mearns

This was featured in the movie Identity. Loved it!

stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 07:17 PM

I just read a recipe for making something called cookie butter. I can't figure out what it is used for after it is made.

JustShakey · Dec 08, 2014, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I just read a recipe for making something called cookie butter. I can't figure out what it is used for after it is made.

Eating straight out of the bowl?

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sidney1771 · Dec 08, 2014, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StressedMess

I just really have to stop caring about teenagers and their desperate pleas for help on this site. I keep thinking they are telling the full story and they never are. Duh, StressedMess, you have a teenager, you know the nature of the beast!

Amen! I would love to have a persons age listed as a requirement!

stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 07:22 PM

It is some sort of spread - it looks a bit like peanut butter but it is cookie crumbs and butter mixed together.

stopdog · Dec 08, 2014, 07:25 PM

I don't think anyone tells the whole story anywhere. Not just to be bothersome, but because what is important in one way, is not important in another - or to one person versus another person. I was telling the therapist something recently and she was all like "you never said that before" and I said of course not, it had not come up before in any way I would have thought to tell her.
People tell their stories the way the see them at any given moment or give parts for specific reasons for them.

sidney1771 · Dec 08, 2014, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

It is off-putting for me if someone asks for help and then seems upset with me about what I offer. I fully believe I could be wrong about what kind of help is needed (in my view - perhaps the nail is not the problem even if I think it is - I could be wrong about that part) but becoming testy because I did not give the right help is annoying. Say thanks and go ask someone else is how I try to handle it IF I have been careless enough to ask for help.

I almost never ask for advice or help about me specifically because the wrong kind really does piss me off - so I understand why someone would get pissy about the wrong advice. I often, on this site, am given advice I don't want or need even where I specifically say it is not what I am looking for. I have even had to tell the therapist I am not looking for her advice - I just wanted to tell someone about it. Also, I might well want to change, but differently than the advice giver's way of doing it.
But that is different from when someone posts "please give me advice" and then gets pissy (I do think pissy is different from simply rejecting the advice).

I hear you. This Coach Thread is the first useful one I have found. The others seem to consist of people more in need of attention then real help.

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Couch 82: If you're happy and you know it, be a number!

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