...what would it be? I know some Ts self-disclose. Mine never does. BUT, if you could ask your T one question (that in reality, you know you could never ask because he/she wouldn't be able to answer), what would it be? I will give my answer in a bit, I have to think about this one!!

[withit]

Oh, I'd love to know what her childhood pain was all about. And what are her feelings about her daughter being an overt lesbian with children of her own....

[sunrise]

Hmmmm, tough question. My T self-discloses, so I have heard some about his outside life--hobbies, relationships, relatives, childhood, parents, etc.

Hard decision, but I think I would ask T if I could have of a photo of him and me together. <font color="#AAAAAA">I hope that's not too stalkerish.</font> It would help me remember "us" between sessions and after we are all done with therapy, which hopefully will not be soon.

Just to be clear, I would never ask him for such a photo. I would rather die first. Really.

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sunrise said:
Hmmmm, tough question. My T self-discloses, so I have heard some about his outside life--hobbies, relationships, relatives, childhood, parents, etc.

Hard decision, but I think I would ask T if I could have of a photo of him and me together. <font color="#AAAAAA">I hope that's not too stalkerish.</font> It would help me remember "us" between sessions and after we are all done with therapy, which hopefully will not be soon.

Just to be clear, I would never ask him for such a photo. I would rather die first. Really.

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Ha, I would rather die than do something like that, too. However, I never thought of something like that... and I could totally understand why you'd want it-- I would too.

Everyone thinks things about other people that they can't say out loud. Even Ts. I don't care how focused they are on the session, they have to be thinking stuff that they know they can't say out loud to us. I would want to ask my T (and this is assuming he'd go along with it, because if I assume he'd say no-- which in "real life" he would-- but this is for the purposes of my game here, haha) to reveal what those thoughts are. I would be dying to know. Especially with my T because it's psychoanalysis... So he sometimes he doesn't say much, other times he says more... but I always wonder... what the hell is going through his head???

[purplemoon]

Pinksoil - I always wonder what is going through my T's head. I think that would have to be my question to. I would never ever ask him. It takes so much courage just to ask anything. I finally about 2 weeks ago asked what he thought was wrong with me. And he told me and asked me if I thought he was correct and if he left anything out. I couldn't even answer him. I don't even ask for another appointment. We just go and look at his calendar and he says what he has available and what would I like and I respond what ever is best for you. Although I am getting better - I can choose the hour of the day now. I guess that is progress. This is probably way more than you wanted to know. My apologies if it is to long.

[Talulah]

My t self discloses often. In this way I have come to understand her familial issues (not indepthly) and traumas she has survived. I guess I know quite a bit about her. So for what I would want to know.......assuming that the answer would be COMPLETELY HONEST whether she wanted it to be or not........

Does she have favorites? Am I one? (Does she like me the most), that kind of vein....

[Psychotic_Phil]

The question I would ask is "I or II?" meaning, do I have Bipolar I or Bipolar II.

[jbug]

I would ask my T...why does he work so much? He calls me late at night to answer my phone calls and I think he works to much. I remember how it was to have a dad that worked a lot and don't want his kids to feel the way I did. He is gone this weekend though at a soccer tournament with his kids and I told him not to call his voice mail and check it while he was there.

I also would ask him why he thought I was so screwed up.

Jbug

I think I would ask her if she has to see her own T to process the traumatic/depressing issues/triggers she hears about from her clients. Let's face it, some of it is pretty deep.

[WinterRose]

Well, maybe this is weird, but I think I'd ask for a hug.

[Sunshine31]

I think that I would ask my T whether in all honesty he regrets agreeing to take me on as a client and if he had to do over again would be re-think his decision and say no.

[sidony]

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Petunia said:
I think I would ask her if she has to see her own T to process the traumatic/depressing issues/triggers she hears about from her clients. Let's face it, some of it is pretty deep.

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I think most therapists do! My best friend is a psychologist and she has always had her own therapist too. She says it's common for therapists (even the norm) and she can even list it as a business expense.

Before I ever met my therapist, I looked up his name on the Internet to see if anyone had written anything about him. I didn't find any real information except his name on a conference roster where he was quoted as saying that all students preparing to be therapists needed to be in therapy themselves.

(After I actually met him, I felt weird that I'd looked him up on the Internet. But all I had was a name and wanted more info.)

Sidony

[sidony]

For myself I think I'd ask for a photo too. Just of him (I don't need to be in it). My visual memory's not that great, and sometimes I look at him really intensely trying to memorize his face for all time. I'm afraid years later I'll forget though. And that would be so sad for me...

Sidony

[WinterRose]

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For myself I think I'd ask for a photo too.

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That's very interesting Sidony. My psychiatrist actually takes a picture of his clients to help his memory.

[Talulah]

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Sunshine31 said:
I think that I would ask my T whether in all honesty he regrets agreeing to take me on as a client and if he had to do over again would be re-think his decision and say no.

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Me too, I think i will ask actually.....

[Sunshine31]

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Talulah said:
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Sunshine31 said:
I think that I would ask my T whether in all honesty he regrets agreeing to take me on as a client and if he had to do over again would be re-think his decision and say no.

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Me too, I think i will ask actually.....

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Talulah,

I think that you are a very brave person if you can honestly ask your T that question.....I am too chicken because of the fear of what his answer would be.

If you do ask your T the question, I hope you get the answer you are hoping for

[Talulah]

I will ask tomorrow when I go......would they really tell you the truth if they DID regret it though......I may be unable to belive the answer, but will let you know what she says if i ask!

[Perna]

I think I'd want to tape a session, since that's sometimes done by T's, rather than have a picture; I'd want to hear my T's voice talking to me.

[Sunshine31]

That's a good one Perna...I too would love to have a tape of my T's voice. I would probably wear the tape out though playing it over and over just for comfort (okay that sounds freakish but not meant to be....just in a supportive way)

[sidony]

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Sunshine31 said:
That's a good one Perna...I too would love to have a tape of my T's voice. I would probably wear the tape out though playing it over and over just for comfort (okay that sounds freakish but not meant to be....just in a supportive way)

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If my therapist leaves me a voicemail (like if I've called him about changing an appointment & he's calling back), I always play it a bunch of times. I love his voice. So no, it's not freakish.

Sid

[Sunshine31]

Thanks Sidony Glad I didn't sound freakish or odd for what I posted....I was worried I would.

[jacq10]

Yeah thats a really good idea! If i could i would have asked my old T for some of our relaxation techniques we use to do. She would read me these stories and they always made me feel so much better ...

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sidony said:
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Sunshine31 said:
That's a good one Perna...I too would love to have a tape of my T's voice. I would probably wear the tape out though playing it over and over just for comfort (okay that sounds freakish but not meant to be....just in a supportive way)

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If my therapist leaves me a voicemail (like if I've called him about changing an appointment &amp; he's calling back), I always play it a bunch of times. I love his voice. So no, it's not freakish.

Sid

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The center where I go to T has the phones set up so that they always go straight to voicemail. So sometimes I call T just to hear his voice on the message. And if he calls me back about something and I miss the call, he leaves me a message. So of course I save it on my cell and listen to it 300 times. Okay, not that many. I love his voice, too. I thought I was a pathetic stalker, but I see it's quite normal.

[Sunshine31]

Okay I am starting to feel much better here...not so freakish. My T also has a confidential voicemail and I call his voicemail sometimes just to hear his voice which seems to calm me down sometimes. I actually told him one day that I did this and to apologize for the multiple hangups (oops) and he said that if it helped that he was happy and to continue to do so and he didn't care how many hangups were on his phone as long as it helped me in some way.

[Perna]

Sunshine, you're not at all freakish! I use to look my T and me up in the phone book when she was away to make sure we existed!!!