Body language cues from your therapist: reading into things or not?

ombrétwilight · Jan 04, 2015, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

My T takes deep breaths a lot. She doesn't really sigh, but takes those breaths. But she's also very big into yoga....so I think she tries to concentrate on her breathing sometimes. I also think she does it thinking I might mirror her. I don't breathe at all during my sessions, so I'm told. She has been yawning some in my sessions. Thankfully I've talked myself out of taking it personally.

My ex-T is also big on breathing. On our sole (and failed) attempt at art therapy, she told me to close my eyes and inhale-exhale with her while she read off poetry (sort of like the kind of imagine-you're-taking-a-walk-on-the-beach yoga things) which felt so awkward to me. I just couldn't do it (not even closing my eyes) because I was uncomfortable and I pretended to breathe together with her so she won't get mad when I was actually holding my breath.

Ad Intra · Jan 04, 2015, 01:36 PM

I'm very sure she was aware of my body language but rarely said anything about it. I never addressed her either about her body language. She used to sit in a chair across from me with her chair facing across from me. She would sit in it and turn to face me. Her body language always said 'comfortable'.

Restin · Jan 04, 2015, 03:01 PM

I think T was just doing one of those breathing exercizes the "mindfull" and Yoga experts advocate.

WrkNPrgress · Jan 14, 2015, 02:17 PM

Ok I have another one (I, too am highly analytics, visually oriented, and way too fascinated by this topic.)

Last session she asked to read my journal- after I had already read the contents of that page.

She made a small 'huh' type noise but I didn't ask what she observed there. While she read it, she had her hand over her mouth the whole time. The funny thing is that 'hand over mouth' usually means the person is trying to hide something, or restrain themselves in some way. I know this was just her being thoughtful and contemplative but I also wonder if it mean she was trying to 'silence' her own perceptions to gather in what I had written?

I don't really need an answer, I just think it's interesting.

growlycat · Jan 14, 2015, 09:43 PM

My CBT T has said that some of his patients get offended because they think he is sighing. He said he was just using a breathing exercise when a conversation raises his own anxiety.
Sometimes with me he will look me in the eye as I'm rambling too fast and then he takes a deep breath and exhales then he smiles and says "slow down for a sec and take a deep breath".

He is very expressive and has very warm and open body language unlike so many T's in my past who were stony faced poker players. I like a T who is easy to read.

roimata · Jan 15, 2015, 05:16 AM

I have all of you beat. My therapist has nodded off on me. I didn't take it personally knowing the context of her tiredness but I have never witnessed such a frantic display of damage control before. It was awesome.

StillIRise · Jan 15, 2015, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roimata

I have all of you beat. My therapist has nodded off on me. I didn't take it personally knowing the context of her tiredness but I have never witnessed such a frantic display of damage control before. It was awesome.

Mine did the same! At the time he tried to claim he wasn't excessively tired but later held his hands up. It's quite funny looking back but at the time I was mortally offended.

doyoutrustme · Jan 15, 2015, 07:21 PM

If mine feel asleep I would Sharpie Face him and leave.

WrkNPrgress · Jan 16, 2015, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doyoutrustme

If mine feel asleep I would Sharpie Face him and leave.

LOL! But what would you draw, I wonder?

doyoutrustme · Jan 16, 2015, 07:20 AM

Considering that he would probably wake up rather quickly, I think the best strategy would be a quick Hitler style mustache.

PaulaS · Jan 16, 2015, 06:36 PM

When I read this I felt you had a very good response from your T through this. Even if I don´t know you or her I spontaniously felt the T did this to really focus on what you said and by closing her eyes she could listen to you more carefully. I don´t think she was sleepy or something as she opened her eyes quickly and was aware that you looked at her.

But in any case of being uncertain about these kind of non-verbal signs, I would ask. Perhaps it would feel strange asking "why did you close your eyes last session when I read from my diary", I would ask if I felt I couldn´t let it pass without knowing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WrkNPrgress

I'm not sure if there's a thread out there that this topic belongs in but I wanted to ask about what kind of body language do you pick up on from your therapist?

I know they're human. At times they may be tired, irritable, or *shudder* to think perhaps even bored at times. They can also be moved, amused or happy about something you're saying and give off positive body language cues.

And then there's the stuff we're just reading into.

During my last session, I was reading some breakthrough thoughts from my diary and I was quite excited but nervous about it, so I rambled it off, rather hurriedly as well as interjecting commentary along the way. I felt a bit scattered.

In the middle of reading, I heard her take a really deep breath. I looked up and her eyes were closed and she exhaled slowly. She quickly reopened her eyes and I tried to carry on and just finish what I was talking about. . I didn't question it. I know she was paying attention and we had a good session, no doubt but those little non-verbal moments stuck in my head.

Later I thought, what was that about? Was she feeling my excitement and nervousness as stress and needed to breathe to calm "us"? Did something I say annoy her? Or was she bored, and trying to refocus her attention?

I wish I had the presence of mind to ask what that was about. I wouldn't even have known how to ask —"uh, ... are you...what is that?" It was a small thing so I don't think I'll bring it up later but it's odd when a therapist shows such a physical reaction to something.

Do you talk back to your T on this kind of things? Would you ask if s/he is tired, or irritated if you picked up on something? What are your experiences with body language in a session?

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Body language cues from your therapist: reading into things or not?

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