How to trust again?

So earlier this year my old T decided she didn't like the agency she worked for and to just retire early. That decision ended up throwing me into a bad depressive episode. I have been working with a new T for about 4 months now. I have finally gotten through the depression but have very bad anxiety right now. I am having a hard time in therapy because I am always anxious when I am there. I don't feel secure enough yet that this new T won't leave or terminate me.

I guess I am still scarred from my last T leaving me that I can't let go and get close to this new T. How can I let go of the old pain so that I can start trusting that my new T will be there for me?

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I don't know, other than it takes time? My previous two therapists terminated (each for different reasons). The one I'm seeing now knows this. It's something that's always "there." I don't know how or when the uncertainty goes away.

Ask if s/he likes the clinic. Tell him/her your fears. It's going to take longer to trust this new T. I know it will with my new T. I pretend that my old T is working with my new t (they aren't) until I actually trust new T. which I feel will take about a year.

Trust can be hard, and it takes time. Talking about it can help. With most recent T, we talked about it often... Now I'm facing learning to trust all over again. Hoping whomever I see next will be it for a while, and will help build that trust again...

Trust is so hard. And just having that discussion with the new t. In itself would be difficult for me.

Some question you might want to ask yourself:

Do you feel you connect with this T?

Do you think eventually you can trust this T and she trust you?

Did you interview this T? Or was it just someone in the same practice that picked up your retiring T clients?

If you dont feel you connect you can always stay with the t temporarily but at the same time reach out to other t's and interview them or do a get to know you meeting.
During these meetings ask how long they plan on staying in practice and any other questions or concerns you might have. I wrote a list of things down so I wouldnt forget. Because I get real anxious when I am sitting with a new t

I understand the trust issue and how hard it is.

I just terminated with my t. My choice and it was ugly...
Because I picked the wrong t and the connection was never there for me. It ended terribly. I made the choice to leave. But I still feel lost and abandoned.

After you come up with the list. Maybe if you feel comfortable enough with your current t. Maybe you can ask the t the questions or send it in an email or write it down and hand it to your t at the end of session and ask to discuss your questions/concerns at the next session

Those are just suggestions and I know easier said than done.

I just learned a very painful lesson about picking the wrong t. It is better for you to figure out now if you connect. Than a year down the road.

Hang in there I know the pain and anxiety of feeling you may be terminated. And the trust issues. It is better to find out now by asking questions then get yourself invested emotionally and then figure out that you may have a t who is not the right "fit" for you

I am sorry you were put in this situation. Hang in there

This T is with a different practice and she is the owner so I know she won't be leaving anytime soon. But for some reason that does not reassure me.

I think I could connect with this T but am just having a hard time doing that right now. She is different from my last T because she doesn't let me get away with stuff she definitely makes me work harder. Which is probably a good thing because I am good at avoiding things.

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I do have a connection with my T, but I have a hard time trusting my T and often lose the connection. It's due to my past in general, not just past Ts. I have seen my current T for a little over a year and she has never done anything to prove she's untrustworthy. But still, I constantly have doubts. My T also has her own private practice. She told me she loves living in our city/county and isn't planning on retiring for a long time. But I still worry.

My T and I just have to keep revisiting the issue as many times as it comes up. She calls me out when I'm pushing her away, but she also provides reassurance even if she has to repeat herself.

I can say though, it gets a little easier. My trust in her lasts longer than it used to, and I have been able to disclose more details. It's not easy. For me at least, I have to keep trying. I don't have any other option.