Couch 83: In a world where...

I have reached a stage where I am officially "kittened out" and have no desire for another kitten. Bottle raising two litters of orphans and weeks of every 3 hour feedings around the clock will do that to you. Right now, though, it is still great fun watching our three kittens grow up. The phrase, "come quick! You HAVE to see this -- they are doing something SO CUTE!" gets heard a lot in our house. And the funny thing is that all of us actually jump up and go to look, even H, who was NOT happy about taking the kittens in. The other funny thing is that the last kitten we kept was because H was in love with him and couldn't stand the thought of sending him to a new home.For the first time ever, I was the one saying, don't you think we have enough animals?

There is about a 50% mortality rate in the wild. That rate is generally dramatically less if the mother cat is domesticated or being cared for, so no, that is not normal. Might be a result of how young the mom is. What did the vet say? Did he or she not think subQ fluids would help support the babe and build it up a bit so that she or he would nurse better?

The first batch of feral orphans we found were emaciated and two of the four were within minutes of death, according to our vet. We found two that were already dead. All four of the ones we found still alive lived, although the one had seizures and required the subQ fluids repeatedly and special, very frequent feedings. The second batch of orphans were much younger, only about two weeks old, and of those four, one died without ever looking or acting ill. She was the runt and vet said she probably had some congenital issue.

Red-rum. Red-rum! Youve watched too many horror movies? Children of the corn, poltergeist? Or just documentaries about the royal family. Now Prince George will be growing up to haunt you!

Eta: catching up. Poor kitties. (((Healed)))

(((Mkac))) ugh, i feel ya. I played my mother's latest vm for my pdoc last night. I think he fell for her sob story. I told my t to yell at pdoc for me. He agreed

healed, I'm sorry to hear about the kitten.

Poor kitten. Sorry to hear that.

Seriously though, what did the vet say? It is really important for the next kitten to know whether the vet thought it was an illness or some congenital issue they might all have. If it is an illness or they are just a little weak, they might just need some supportive care like a heating pad and the fluids I keep mentioning.

How much time should you give a breeder to return your email? I asked nearly 3 days ago about a litter. I 'll just contact my next closest breeder but i may have to pay freight for the pup.

Poor kittens i feel for you healed.

I get to see another pdoc after the cancellation yesterday. My t said so you are depressed because the pdoc cancelled. I said no thats not what i said. I said iam depressed *fullstop *new sentence* the pdoc i was supposed see today cancelled. Feel free to play insert-your-own-punctuation.

I talked to the vet tech, they suggested the kitty formula and heating pads for those we thought were getting sick. The one who is sick today, was the one who had to be stimulated and warmed up for an hour after he was born, so she just said the kitty was probably sick from birth that there wasn't much we could have done. The one that died last night was a lot smaller than the other two kitties that are left. Basically, she was no help, just told us to keep doing what we are doing. The other two, are fat and active.. We'll keep our eyes on them, and will make sure they are nursing, and staying warm.

healed, so sorry about the kitten.

I had a realization this evening.. (thank you hot shower and no kids to interrupt). I think the reason why I am so stuck on T's comments on Friday is because I am having a different reaction to them. My go to, "safe" I am in control reaction is.. I am angry and I am going to tell you all about it. This time, the comments hurt me. The reason why that is so significant is because in order for me to let people's words hurt me I have to give a heck as to what they are saying. T's words hurt me because that means I do value what he has to say- and to share that with him seems to put me in a very vulnerable place.

To whom do I suggest a sticky somewhere on the psychotherapy board that has frequently asked question concerning therapy- with links to old posts answering common questions.

And you have proven to yourself that you can survive those feelings of vulnerability. It didn't kill you... You survived. For me each time that happened for me was practice for surviving being somewhat vulnerable with other people.

The hardest part for me though is letting myself feel vulnerable in the presence of another person. I would plan to go into my past T and tell him how I felt to share my feelings...but it usually comes out as accusatory defensive etc.

So I learned that I had to share the news..Would tell the T not to talk...then I would say I was upset about something you said and this is what I learned about myself from it and discuss that first...then I could maybe handle resolving the issue first.

Hope you can figure out a way for you to be able to talk about what you learned about yourself before you get mired down in the linguistics of what he said, how he said it and what his intentions where.

Gah! Why am I facing this alone when I have a wife?
Don't ask me.

Sorry you're alone.

I completely get it... Except in reverse.

Hard to say with no info but I realize it's a rhetorical question. Sorry you feel you are facing stuff alone.

The therapist suggested some things I don't think are stressful really are.
I seriously wonder about those people

How about "you weren't feeling safe, you were in a state of shock, your brain was tricking you to protect you." Thanks so much! I'm trying to learn what feelings feel like, you're telling me I didn't feel what I felt. How helpful!

Oh, and for those of you who have been feeling poorly, hope you get well soon! I've ditched the crutch, PT is killing me slowly, and I'm never going to voluntarily go in for surgery again.

Carry on!

SM - so how is the leg feeling? Good that you can go without the crutches.

Good morning SD! Yes, the crutch was more of an albatross around my neck than any real assistance. I'm walking without a limp now, so I don't need it anymore. It only hurts when I do something stupid, like hyper-extend my knee or pivot with my foot planted. Surprisingly, I seem to do that all the time, even though I know it's going to hurt me. Thanks for asking!

I am having panic attacks and there is no reason for it.

SD- sorry to hear.. I have a lot to say about panic attacks, but unsure if you want to hear it In any case, if you want to write about it, we are all here to listen!

Stop, I have only had a couple of panic attacks in my life and find them upsetting on so many levels, especially when I do not understand where they are coming from. I know you do not like CBT, but I have found CBT techniques to be helpful in backtracking to figure out what was the precipitating event or thought for the panic attack. If you are not interested in that, I totally get that, and if there is anything that would actually be helpful that I could do or say, please let me know. Otherwise, I will sit and quietly commiserate without imposing on your space or doing anything to make you feel obligated in any way.

I am sorry, SD. I think I might have had one recently, but I don't know. I am always super anxious but when I had it I wasn't feeling any different then usual (and I don't usually get them). My heart was racing and things in the room looked very bright to me. I looked up ways to slow one's heart rate online and it said to press on your eyes and also hold your nose and blow through it...those helped me feel better (in case any of that is relevant to you, SD).