How to choose topics?

I'm seeing my T on Monday, which I really really need. But now I don't know how to approach the session. There's so much happening all at once and I'm so overwhelmed and I don't know how to prioritize things to talk about. There's my general level of anxiety, some major issues with my mother I only just realized, stuff going on with my feet, more anxiety stemming from everything above and some triggers.

And in case you can't tell, I've gone from anxious to upset to depressed tonight and am hating myself.

Becca

Can you list all the concerns you have right now and then prioritize them. That way you will go from the most distressing to the least in case you run out of time.

I would probably do that, if I weren't so busy repressing things so as not to think about them until I see my T on Monday. Because otherwise I'm not getting through the weekend. But maybe I could try to list things that morning.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't feel qualified to prioritize things. I feel like sure, I could pick the thing that I think is the most distressing, but I could be totally off the mark and still be left with a huge problem getting from one session to the next. Not that I think the major issue will be fixed in one session, obviously not. Hmmm...maybe what I'm trying to say is that things came to a crisis point last Monday, to a point where I couldn't function, and that what I want to do when I see my T is triage. I don't know. I don't feel competent enough to seek help correctly I guess.

Becca

Hi Becca. Maybe you could print out your last post and take it with you to your T on Monday. If you share your fears with your T, perhaps the two of you can work together on triaging. Since you don't feel competent to seek help correctly, your T can help you if you share how you're feeling. Your post is a very good start. Good luck.

If you're afraid you might get off track once monday arrives then perhaps you could jot down your ideas (as mentioned before in order from most to least important?) on a notecard and take it with you to review just before you go in?

I was thinking of maybe jotting down major areas that are bothering me and then asking her what she thinks we should deal with first.

Maybe though, if you go by the theory that I'm overwhelmed by the multiple stressors right now, it makes sense to tackle the easiest one, so as to reduce the overall load, before dealing with the more serious issue.

Becca

I think it is a wonderful idea to write them down and discuss with your t the one to start with.

Sometimes I too make a list of things to cover. I will start talking and then see where the session takes me and look at the list to see what I might have missed... as they are all important...sometimes. ;-)

I have also been known to go in when overwhelmed and just spew it all out and then sort it all out.

That speaks to the jumblement in my head.

I was feeling similarly prior to my last session. I spent time trying to get it down to a list and came up with two pages of writing. I had shared my concerns with the T prior via email. It was a weird start to a session because I still didn't know where to start. We ended up just jumping into the middle of things until we found the current that we needed to follow. If you can call before or email, it might help. The list idea and writing for a bit also helps to narrow it down and get you more focused on what you want to say and what is having the biggest impact on you and in finding themes. You may still feel nebulous, but it will be a more condensed nebulosity, I guess. I noticed that all my stuff was relationship oriented so it gave some form to the session.

I just get it all out there. Getting it out of your head where it wars/bothers me is half the battle for me. The first session with my T at the end she said I'd swamped her :-) But I wasn't as anxious and confused and all over the place anymore and that was very good. Think of a dog running in circles after his tail :-) You have to get him to stop and face forward, first. Get the "mess" out of your head where you can "see" it better and where it's exposed to the air and your T's sight too.

Perna, I like that idea. Maybe part of the reason I'm overwhelmed by everything is that I'm dealing with most of it on my own, and blurting it out to my T, just to get it out there, could be a relief.

Becca

Becca, when I feel this way, I will literally go into therapy with a checklist of things I want to tell my T. I will go down the list and tell him about things, just to get them out. During this time, he knows not to say anything. The stuff I tell him doesn't even seem related at first-- because it's just a bunch of stuff that I need to say. I will literally tell him about something, finish it, and then start something else, and so on. He is very good about "storing" the important stuff that he picks up on. Then we integrate it later.

Maybe you can do this so you can "get it all out" and then both you and your T can pick out what seems most important.

Good thread Becca, I hope all goes well with your session.

In those sessions where there is so much to talk about, I will say "I dont know where to begin, so lets start with the end"..usually the end issue is the one that impacts me the most and I will try and talk about it last..well..because its so hard to start with...