[PaulaS]

I´ve thought about my therapy experiences, when I was in therapy and after, when I´ve searched for a new T after being terminated/abandoned.

I live by myself, I have only one friend, my parents and other relatives live far away and it wouldn´t be easier if I lived somewhere nearer to them. I´m in no relationship and have never been and I´ve been unemployed for several years in a country where it´s hard even for recent graduates to get a job. I´ve already tried to do small things to improve my situation.

I see I was just naive to think a T could help me with this. What difference would it do by talking to someone once a week and then go home to a completely unfulfilling life. And please don´t advice me about sui groups and such, you don´t have to plan a suicide just because you think your life is bad.

Of course noone can change reality, high unemployment rates are a fact, being unemployed for several years most likely implies you´re never going to have a job. I think a T can make you feel a bit better in the moment when you speak to him/her but for me I would never make any practical changes to my life just by talking to a T.

I don´t believe in adapting to a T:s methods and to try to avoid conflicts with a T just to get their so called help. I don´t believe in hiding myself as if I am some kind of freak just because T:s act like I am. I don´t believe in telling my story over and over again to T:s who firstly prioritize their income and secondly the client.

I just know I´ve tried, I engaged, I was interested, I know I always acted respectfully and looked into several perspectives if I had some complaints or opinions about the T:s work. For me T:s are just someone who profit from other peoples misery. I don´t care if that makes me seem cynical, negative and so on. I can read about people who turned their misery into something good, but I´ll never believe that will happen to me. There´s nothing to do and perhaps faith in some way will let me out of all this.

[stopdog]

Good luck.

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now, Paula and that you're feeling you have no options left. I sincerely hope that you find something to help you through this tough time. Therapy might not be something that is good for your personal needs, only you can decide. Does Spain have such a thing as a "Life Coach"? Sometimes here in the States people use the service of a life coach to help them jump start their life in areas of employment, life direction, relationship etc. But it might just be a U.S thing. Hope things change soon for you.

[SnakeCharmer]

I'm sorry you're feeling down about all this. You've had a rough go of it just trying to get help. That would be hard on anyone. I hope you will keep posting here. Your posts offer a valuable point of view. I wish you the best.

[PaulaS]

Yes, there are life coaches and employment coaches and I met with such a coach some years ago. I already then felt it was rather useless as there were no coaches that specialized in my field and I also felt I was too mentally ill to really engage in an process where you´re supposed to apply for jobs.

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now, Paula and that you're feeling you have no options left. I sincerely hope that you find something to help you through this tough time. Therapy might not be something that is good for your personal needs, only you can decide. Does Spain have such a thing as a "Life Coach"? Sometimes here in the States people use the service of a life coach to help them jump start their life in areas of employment, life direction, relationship etc. But it might just be a U.S thing. Hope things change soon for you.

[PaulaS]

Thanks. I think I´ll keep posting here, or at least read what others have written. In my country (and I assume in many other countries) there are a much bigger demand than supply when it comes to affordable mental health care. I think that´s why the therapy business attract hypocrites and dishonest people. I ´ve seen and heard about it too many times.

Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer

I'm sorry you're feeling down about all this. You've had a rough go of it just trying to get help. That would be hard on anyone. I hope you will keep posting here. Your posts offer a valuable point of view. I wish you the best.

[anilam]

Well, hope this will make you happy.

[IndestructibleGirl]

What would you like to do, moving forward?

I wonder if there are any peer support groups near you, that would be some company and comfort.

[growlycat]

I know the feeling, when you are in such a deep hole it is hard to imagine there will ever be a way out. This probably won't feel encouraging, but I found it useful. Even if you feel like ***** just keep doing those little things that will make your life better….keeping on top of bills, eating right, exercising, keeping your place as clean as you can manage, sending out resumes etc. When I was unemployed for 2 years I just bombarded any place I could think of with my resume, tailored cover letter, and tons of applications. For every 200 applications I may have gotten 6-7 interviews. Very depressing and hard work but this repetition eventually found me good work.

I don't mean to minimize what you are going though. Just saying that going through the motions like a robot can get you there. I really believe that persistence is 90% of success . But it sucked and was not a fun time I won't lie about that.

[PaulaS]

I don´t know of any support groups that are free and not within some kind of therapy. There are a lot of group therapy but I wouldn´t put trust in such a group. I don´t know what to do, I don´t have any ideas.

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

What would you like to do, moving forward?

I wonder if there are any peer support groups near you, that would be some company and comfort.

[PaulaS]

Yes, I do those things you describe, not sending out resumes though as I wouldn´t be able to work. I thought of T:s as honest people caring for the weak and vulnerable. It was just a naive fantasy.

Originally Posted by growlycat

I know the feeling, when you are in such a deep hole it is hard to imagine there will ever be a way out. This probably won't feel encouraging, but I found it useful. Even if you feel like ***** just keep doing those little things that will make your life better….keeping on top of bills, eating right, exercising, keeping your place as clean as you can manage, sending out resumes etc. When I was unemployed for 2 years I just bombarded any place I could think of with my resume, tailored cover letter, and tons of applications. For every 200 applications I may have gotten 6-7 interviews. Very depressing and hard work but this repetition eventually found me good work.

I don't mean to minimize what you are going though. Just saying that going through the motions like a robot can get you there. I really believe that persistence is 90% of success . But it sucked and was not a fun time I won't lie about that.

[Gavinandnikki]

I don't agree that effective therapy is "a naive fantasy ".

You've been kicked when you're down. Feeling so low, sad, hopeless. I'm so sorry. You seem like you want to feel and get better, so much.

I wish you the best.

Please keep posting.

[PaulaS]

I meant my thoughts of therapy as solving problems were naive. To me, no T really cares. They just get one with their lifes, putting clients in the trash when the clients don´t suit them. My experiences of therapy only made me realise how hopeless everything is.

Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki

I don't agree that effective therapy is "a naive fantasy ".

You've been kicked when you're down. Feeling so low, sad, hopeless. I'm so sorry. You seem like you want to feel and get better, so much.

I wish you the best.

Please keep posting.

[Lauliza]

I'm sorry you feel so hopeless. I think it's possible that traditional talk therapy may not be as helpful as you had thought. Your struggles are pretty concrete and the fact that you feel sad is understandable. Your situation may seem hopeless but it may not be as dire as you think. If you were to seek help you could look for someone that can help come up with realistic solutions and attainable goals to help you out of your current situation. A T that can help you improve social skills so you can make more friends and have a relationship could be useful to you. I realize it's not that simple and therapy itself will not eradicate your stress, it can only help you cope with it differently.

[PaulaS]

A T should be able to do all the things you mentioned, I thought so before but not any longer. They don´t let me be the one I am, they all just protect their own egos and paychecks. Haven´t met such hypocrits before I went into therapy.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I think you could be correct that therapy will not help solve the problems you are having. Therapy could be useful if you find someone who can help you come up with realistic solutions to your problems. Someone who can help you set goals that are attainable. A T that can help you improve social skills so you can make more friends and have a relationship. Otherwise it true that therapy may not be the thing for you.

[PaulaS]

Almost every T says "we´ll have to meet and see if we can work together, what feeling we get in that meeting". Even if I know it has to be like this, there has to be chemistry, this line now just tell me "I warn you, I´ll kick you out without batting an eyelid"

Originally Posted by PaulaS

To me, no T really cares. They just get one with their lifes, putting clients in the trash when the clients don´t suit them. My experiences of therapy only made me realise how hopeless everything is.

That older therapist sounded like she cared about you. She might not suit your needs age-wise, but at least there was one. Even so, I understand you're too discouraged to continue. It's best to follow your instincts on this.

[PaulaS]

Yes, I agree she seemed to care but I don´t even want to think about what would happen if I now contacted her as she knows I´ve been searching for other T:s. It would probably result in everything from lying she has no available appointments to put labels on me like I´m indecisive, not motivated for therapy, distrusting her because of her age and so on. Everything that keeps me away of her.

[stopdog]

It sounds as though you have made a good decision for yourself.

[PaulaS]

A post like this doesn´t always have to be about asking for advice and then commit to follow the advice or else you get comments like this. Perhaps people just want some understanding and to share their story.

Originally Posted by stopdog

It sounds as though you have made a good decision for yourself.