[angelicgoldfish05]

I saw ex-t Wednesday at his office. I was there filling out paperwork because I want to see him again and work through every thing and heal my past. It's totally selfish and I want this so badly. I was in the middle of filling out paperwork in the very corner of the waiting room and he comes out, walks toward me, says "hey sister" and my heart, face and spirit lit up. Then he sits down next to me, doesn't even acknowledge me, and talks to the girl next to me. He never even said hi... which is fine, I mean at least I got to see him and feel his presence. Of course I cried after he left the waiting room without even acknowledging me. It is so painful to be attached to someone who does not want you or want anything to do with you. Who is probably repulsed by you...
But I set up an appointment with him for April. And I am on the waiting list if he has any cancellations. It feels so far away but he is worth the wait... and it's already been 2 and a half years since I've seen him. At least I saw him.

[JaneTennison1]

I'm surprised he's seeing you again after ignoring your suicide attempts and attempts to contact him when you were in hospital. I hope he is able to provide you some peace or closure so you can move on.

I'm glad his wife could help calm you down. I wonder if he hopes to stop the urge you have to go to his house and talk with his family. I certainly hope he can invoke some more calm.

My guess is that he didn't know how to handle seeing you and I hope he works out a plan going forward.

[angelicgoldfish05]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

I'm surprised he's seeing you again after ignoring your suicide attempts and attempts to contact him when you were in hospital. I hope he is able to provide you some peace or closure so you can move on.

My guess is that he didn't know how to handle seeing you and I hope he works out a plan going forward.

I'm not sure if he actually will see me... It's probably wishful thinking and I have a huge fear that he will take one look at my name on the schedule and say he can't see me. Just setting an appointment with the receptionist does not mean the therapist will not say no due to conflict of interest of whatever.

I hope he can provide peace and closure so I can move on as well. Even if it just one appointment focused on closure and a referral to a different t.

i'm sorry. it must have been a horrible feeling.

[AllHeart]

Are you still seeing your current T?

What exactly do you hope to get out of seeing this ex-T? Do you plan to just see him once or twice for closure?

Based on your previous posts about this ex-T, I think you might be taking steps backward by seeing this ex-T, unless it's only to find closure.

Again, based on your previous posts about ex-T, and given he did not acknowlege you in the waiting room, I don't want to you to get your hopes up that he will see you. I understand the terrible pain this could cause, and I don't think you deserve that from this ex-T. It would be great if your current T could help you find closure without having to do so with ex-T directly.

Keep us posted. Remember you are a valuable and worthy human being. Do not let the actions of this ex-T take that away from you.

Oh...OUCH!

[Fuzzybear]

I missed the part about his wife. Did you go to his house and talk to his wife?

[stopdog]

He sounds like a jerk.

Maybe he didn't recognize you. It's been 2 1/2 years since he physically saw you; it's quite possible he simply didn't even recognize you. Sounds like he saw another patient, had his focus on her, didn't recognize you because you are a current patient, and therefore didn't focus on you.

[bounceback]

That would bother me too if I saw an ex T and they ignored me.

In real life, people get to "pretend" that they don't see someone. If people are honest they'd admit that they do it all the time--they're rushed and don't want to stop and talk to someone in the grocery store or in the parking lot of their child's school or perhaps they are irritated by the last meeting they had with the person and don't want to discuss/argue/compromise how things went and they just walk by, pretending they don't see the person. . . there are a thousand different reasons for not wanting to deal with reality. . . .The sad thing in this situation is that the person is a therapist and perhaps he is "pretending" not to see you. If that is the case, his decision to not acknowledge you is unprofessional and sadly immature. As the professional, it is his job/mission to be the one who steps out of his comfort zone and be the one to be brave and authentic. I can only hope that he didn't recognize you.

There is a small. . .and I mean miniscule chance that the individual didn't recognize you, but that seems pretty slim. I mean, he came into the room and walked directly toward you to address the person sitting next to you (if I'm understanding the situation correctly). I know that I have severe difficulty recognizing "acquaintances" in strange or different situations. Sometimes people thing I'm being rude or disrespectful and it is about facial recognition. That might be your former therapist's problem. I don't know. You'll only know if you gently talk to him about what happened.

The other issue is that sadly, many therapist aren't much different in their ability to deal effectively with difficult and upsetting interpersonal relationships than most of us who seek out their help. I truly wish it was different. It doesn't mean that good/competent therapists aren't out there, but the sad thing is that many of us go to someone who is licensed and believe that the person is "competent and qualified". Definitely not always the case! Sometimes the person has more issues than we do. I hope that you are able to find closure on this issue.

[angelicgoldfish05]

Originally Posted by AllHeart

Are you still seeing your current T?

What exactly do you hope to get out of seeing this ex-T? Do you plan to just see him once or twice for closure?

Based on your previous posts about this ex-T, I think you might be taking steps backward by seeing this ex-T, unless it's only to find closure.

Again, based on your previous posts about ex-T, and given he did not acknowlege you in the waiting room, I don't want to you to get your hopes up that he will see you. I understand the terrible pain this could cause, and I don't think you deserve that from this ex-T. It would be great if your current T could help you find closure without having to do so with ex-T directly.

Keep us posted. Remember you are a valuable and worthy human being. Do not let the actions of this ex-T take that away from you.

Yes still seeing current t. With ex t, hoping to get closure and possibly a referral to a male t. I'm currently seeing a female t, but I believe a male t could really help me heal my attachment traumas.

Thanks for replying and reminding me I am a valuable person.

[angelicgoldfish05]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I missed the part about his wife. Did you go to his house and talk to his wife?

Look I edited the post and took that part out because I feel like most people would not understand my situation and would judge me quite harshly. This community can be very judging and downright mean.

[angelicgoldfish05]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

there are a thousand different reasons for not wanting to deal with reality. . . .The sad thing in this situation is that the person is a therapist and perhaps he is "pretending" not to see you. If that is the case, his decision to not acknowledge you is unprofessional and sadly immature. As the professional, it is his job/mission to be the one who steps out of his comfort zone and be the one to be brave and authentic. I can only hope that he didn't recognize you.

There is a small. . .and I mean miniscule chance that the individual didn't recognize you, but that seems pretty slim. I mean, he came into the room and walked directly toward you to address the person sitting next to you (if I'm understanding the situation correctly). I know that I have severe difficulty recognizing "acquaintances" in strange or different situations. Sometimes people thing I'm being rude or disrespectful and it is about facial recognition. That might be your former therapist's problem. I don't know. You'll only know if you gently talk to him about what happened.

Thanks jaybird. I wish he would be the professional and step out of his comfort zone. Fact is, he has known me for a long time so I don't think facial recognition was the issue. You are understanding the situation correctly.. he walked straight towards me... there were two chairs in between me and the girl sitting next to me. He sat in the chair closest to her and talked to her. There are any number of reasons he didn't acknowledge me... maybe he was trying to gauge my reaction to seeing him to better understand how to proceed in the future.. Who knows.. maybe he really will just never speak to me ever again, maybe he decided this and is being firm about it. But I don't think the girl sitting next to me had an appointment with him because she didn't follow him back. I don't even know what they talked about because I was trying to respect their conversation being between the two of them, and I was also experiencing a little dissociation and couldn't focus.

[lunatic soul]

I'm sorry

After everything I read (about sui attempts etc) I think he is jerk and it would be better not to see him but it's your choice.
Let us know how it went

[Lauliza]

I'm sorry this happened. He does sound like a jerk to me since it wasn't that difficult of a situation to handle. Still everyone reacts differently to things that are unexpected and he just might not be good at thinking on his feet in awkward situations. Do you think you'll feel comfortable enough to have a meaningful session (if you get an appointment)? I know you want to but i just hope he doesn't cause any more hurt given how strong your feelings are for him.

[ECHOES]

I think he was protecting your privacy. Even a waiting room is a public place and your privacy is important. Do you think it could be this?

[pbutton]

I would imagine he was quite focused on his client with the appointment scheduled at that time. I have had that happen at my pdoc. A woman came in to pick up a script, asked reception if he was free, they said no, then she sat down in a chair next to me. When he came out to get me, he did not acknowledge her and spoke only to me.

[angelicgoldfish05]

I will let you know how it goes. It's not till the end of April though. I know he sounds like a jerk but I have known him long enough to know how much he cares about others- too much at times and I have seen him go above and beyond. He has done so much for me and others. He is a good person with a good heart. In spite of all the pain, it will have been worth it to see him again for even one more session.

I think there has been things going on in his personal life and also he may be experiencing burn out because he has been in the field so long. It is not like him to just up and drop someone so something must have happened or have been going on. I'm determined to get to the bottom of it for closure and peace of mind. If he decides to see me more than that I'm all for it. I do believe he can help heal so much of my past because we have already covered so much ground and worked together for enough time to have an alliance and a foundation of trust. In spite of every thing that has happened, I am very forgiving and ultimate still trusting of this t so much. He is only human, he makes mistakes like we all do and he has probably just had normal human reactions to the situation.

If I were him I would be more than overwhelmed with me and my need. I think he does not know how to approach it, and hopefully the formal construct of a therapy session will alleviate much of the unknown. We will both be able to emotionally and mentally prepare. I think in the waiting room it was really unexpected and we were both caught off guard. It's not like I said hi to him either, I was scared. And with privacy and ethics, technically I am the one who needed to acknowledge him first. Plus, I think p button was right on saying he was ultimately focused on the person he came out to the waiting room to talk to in the first place.

Well we'll see how this goes in April. It is so far away now my next issue is how to deal with the wait. 52 days away, ugggh. I am going to have to find a way to cope with that now but I guess I've already waited two and a half years... what's another 2 months? And good Lord if he is that booked maybe I should set up a couple appointments in advance, geez.

Thanks for all your replies guys. It has really helped me process and cope with this incident and situation in general.

[NowhereUSA]

You know, sometimes people just have serious brain farts. I've totally blanked on recognizing someone I'd seen for months at a certain community event.

Sometimes our brains just suck. Even Ts' brains.

[LonesomeTonight]

I totally have...I forget what the term for it is, but Gene Weingartern of the Washington Post has it , too--the thing where you are bad at recognizing and remembering faces. It's possible your therapist has this. Or that he just didn't know what to say to you (though he still could have given you a nod or wave or something). Hopefully he'll agree to your April appt., and you can address it with him then.

[ragsnfeathers]

Prosopagnosia, or faceblindness. I have this, too. I, too, wondered this about the therapist.