Legal action against therapists vs reporting them

Is any of this litigation ultimately going yo be beneficial to you, IG? I do hope you put yourself first

I would personally report against their board and not take legal action, I feel like people are too sue-happy these days but that's just IMO.

I agree that telling a client "forever" in any context is just dumb and naive on a Ts part. There are al many ways to get the point across without making such promises that no one can keep. I think she would be reprimanded by the board for the eBay and PA job offers, since offering a client a job is prohibited. So even for that it's worth making the complaint (it also illustrates poor boundaries). The rest is hard to prove, although I could be wrong since you have much more detail than can be expressed her in a forum.

As for her clinical notes, I wouldn't expect much from them. Most Ts put very little in writing beyond dates, times, maybe diagnoses, etc. there should be enough info to prove the sessions actually happened but probably not much more. Things might be done differently where you are but in the states Ts are encouraged to keep clinical notes brief and general and fact based- no opinions.

Oh I am not excusing her. If my t wanted to sell some crap to me on eBay etc I would stop seeing her. Who needs that crap? I am considering dropping mine too as she gives unreasonable advice lately.

I don't know about her promises as I don't know exactly what she meant by forever and being there and love. She still replies to your email even now, so maybe that's what she meant by "forever"? If she completely dropped you, she would maybe stop replying? So context and details of promises make a difference

I am just saying legal action don't sound reasonable.

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Is it really? From what I've read on these forums as well as online, it seems like in the US, you can sue pretty easily, provided that you have some evidence.
There is no such thing in my country. I for instance never had to sign any confidentiality papers or any papers at all, while people here often mention signing those. It looks like there are much stricter rules in the US, legally speaking.
Again, just my impression.

Sorry I don't want to hijack this thread but I'm curious.
May I ask: why did the men you dated pick that profession then? Are therapists not recquired to go through their own therapy? You'd think they'd have their **** together, no?

I'm in the U.S. The abuser in my case was a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are medical doctors with special training.
There are many ways to seek justice and stop an abuser. But it's not easy.
This is what I did:

-Reported him to the police. Criminal charges were considered.
-Reported him to his medical board.
-Filed a civil suit
-Reported him to my insurance company, Medicare and Medi-cal

If i experienced malpractice again of some kind at this point in my life, I doubt I would report again. The legal system was another major trauma. I don't think I could do it again.

One guy is diagnosed bipolar and the other depressed and has major relationship issues ( can't stay in a relationship for more than few months as women dump him so self absorbed he is)

They were both in therapy, yes. If you are in
Therapy it doesn't mean you are ok. They both told me that most people they work with are also not having their stuff together. I also babysat for a therapist (female), she was also not fully ok. She was a hoarder and had many phobias.

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I think one of the biggest fantasies and mistakes clients make is thinking the therapist is better at life than other people. Here in my jurisdiction there is no requirement that therapists have their own therapy.

You hope you can get your money back. It's not always that 'simple' here in the UK.

No, I don't 'hope I can get my money back'. I am not a slow witted fool.

I am merely marvelling at the fact that the therapy industry is one where the customer/ client has no protection, no come-back, if they are mis-sold a service.

I think resistance is part of probably every patient's "toolkit" - after all, it is our defenses that helped us survive to this point; why would we willingly, smilingly give them up?

We have to be coaxed; hearing "forever" helps convince our inner child that it's safe to let down our guard - it is not necessarily a horrible thing. For a while i told t that the therapy room seemed to have the same rules as Las Vegas - it was a place apart from reality. We return changed to the real world.

This is my view of how t works. I'm not so sure i want regulation in place declaring a t can never say "forever" because some clients cant distinguish between figuratively and literally. I think "forever" is a word that maybe needs to be discussed in t.

I think I want to know the context of always and forever. If t says I will be always your t , then I would ask right there "aren't you going to retire?"

And if a therapist says "I will always be there" and a client still is able to email call and text and t still replies then t fulfills promise of always be there.

Or if they said "I will always love you", maybe they still do even if therapy is over. That's keeping promises.

What exactly was said verbatim when this "always and forever" promise was made?

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I have thought about this issue too. I think that my ex-T worked in a harmful way(though she had good points too). I think there is no knowing how many of her clients felt a little farmed by her, perhaps they, like me ,just stopped going and kept silent. And she herself would have no idea about it either. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do. If I made a complaint I feel that she would simply dismiss what I said as my issues being played out in our relationship, as she did when I was seeing her. Now that I have a new T I see more clearly what a terrible T my ex - T was. Therapy seems quite unique in being hidden and outside the realms of regulation.

Where do I start?

Many conversations about love, which she SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE ****ING CAREFUL ABOUT! Sorry not shouting at you, but shouting with general exasperation.

Conversations which said she wasn't going anywhere, she would stay by my side, that unless she fell under a bus or became very ill she would be there, until I felt like I'd worked through my stuff. And then that after therapy there were appropriate ways of being in each other's lives, yes forever - that when we were a hundred years old we could still be important to each other and in touch, no matter where in the world we actually lived.

I used to say time and time again, you feel like the sister I never had, is it okay? And she kept saying yes and encouraging it. She sent me this picture -

Whenever I painfully admitted how hurt I was that I could never be one of her nearest and dearest, but that I knew I was being unreasonable - she said, yes you are actually one of my nearest and dearest.

Getting angry and shouting down the phone that she loved me but wouldn't give up a twenty year career for me.

And dozens of other incidents besides. Loads of crazy, confusing stuff where she was insisting that she loved me - believe me, when you have BPD, that is like crack.

Even when we spoke of it, the wanting to be in each other's lives in some way a long time down the road - she said it was important to not let that gag me in therapy. To still be able to let all the messy complicated stuff out with her, so that I could resolve it. Except when I did that she didn't like it, so forever became yesterday.

She sounds nuts. But to all honesty she still replies to you and sends love or what not, so maybe in her mind she is still there, just not your therapist? If she was completely out of the picture and out of your life she wouldn't reply to your contacts? I am just wondering what's she thinking?

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Thanks.
What I meant to say is that, after going through their own therapy, I would expect that people who choose to become therapists would have things mostly figured out. Not necessarily living perfect lives but that they'd be somewhat well adjusted. Apparently not.

They aren't. In fact they went on to becoming therapists because they knew they were messed up. Not kidding. They thought they have better insight in to mental illness

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