Recording session with T

Here is some info that might help the law abiding citizen concerns in the US:
Recording Phone Calls and Conversations | Digital Media Law Project

I wonder if you will feel guilty if you record without asking her first? Will it make you feel less close to your T? Perhaps asking if you can record feels like a hard thing to ask, but maybe the process of asking would be helpful in the long run?

But what about the therapist's deception? They don't tell the client what they are doing - why they act or say the things they do. They often don't show clients their notes or tell clients what they put on insurance forms for diagnosis.
It is not weakness, in my opinion.

The relationship I have with my therapist would be the exact same whether or not I have tangible evidence of our interactions.

I suppose if one were to feel guilty about keeping their activity a secret from their therapist it would be to the detriment of their therapeutic connection, but I personally have never felt such a way. If she were to ask me if I was recording our conversations, I would be honest, but I will not volunteer the information because it is not relevant.

That's not a universal truth. My therapist is very open about her process, and some practictioners are certainly open to sharing notes. Further, clients are entitled to records of insurance claims, so we can see our diagnoses. My therapist and I simply discuss mine though. I would never see a therapist who wasn't forthcoming about their work and my diagnosis. Clients don't need to accept therapists like that.

Also, wouldn't that fall under the category of two wrongs not making a right? They're deceptive so I can be deceptive?

You've decided it's not relevant to you, but you're also making that decision for someone else. The less information the therapist has about what's going on, the less accurately they can help. What does it say about what is going on for us as clients, that our Ts won't realize is going on, if we choose to hide such things from them? I think disclosures like that are so important to working toward a comfortable understanding of ourselves. And for those who say it's not a meaningful or significant act, then... seems like it should be easy to share, that the consequences wouldn't concern you? I think it's about a lot more than whether we have guilt pangs over it.

Leah123 – I agree with you 100 % and have stated so in a previous post. I do believe it puts a question mark on the relationship. But, continuously on this forum people make the decision to record without consent, so that is why I put the question out there. It's just my curiosity, only. I had consent of my therapist (several hundred hours worth of recordings), and also, she says they are mine to do what I want. I did not tape family sessions, because I did not ask, and I know my kid would have said, no.

stopdog – Thank you for the link. I read this several years back, dealing with divorce issues. I am not good at understanding legal matters, and the more I read the side discussions I keep coming up with wiggle-room scenarios when applying it to therapy.

Brown Owl – I know for me, it would have sullied the relationship. I am glad I was not to shy or embarrassed to ask her. My ex thera taped her own sessions for six years, and used them to process her therapy. That is also how I used my recorded sessions.

Considering that one of the mantras of this career path is "the client is not responsible for the practitioner's feelings", I still fail to see the problem.

She is there to give me feedback on whatever issue I present to her. My current issue is not that I have an obsessive-compulsive need to document everything. So, not relevant to me, therefore not relevant at all.

The thing about therapy is that we don't always know what's relevant or significant, or we wouldn't need external insight to untangle everything. Certainly there is more to a decision to hide the fact of recording someone than just indifference, otherwise I think it would be equally easy to disclose it.

It's not about being responsible for her feelings, it's about basic respect, as the OP recognized in their first post. Therapists are not simply functions, they are people, so I don't think they should be treated as inanimate input/output devices but with integrity.

I am not afraid to ask my t if can record sessions, I am afraid she will act or speak different knowing she is being recorded.

For me, it would be me who would act or speak differently if I was being recorded.

Yes, same here. I know I would, and it would not be worth it for me.

That might be true at first, but it's possible she would eventually get used to it and it wouldn't make her act or speak in a different way.

I do a great deal of recorded interviewing for work. Some folks don't miss a beat, others feel a little awkard, but only for the first three or four minutes, then they get acclimatized and they're back to normal. In established relationships, it's even easier.

So, while I can appreciate the fear, in my experience, it's not an issue, and then you have the reassurance of knowing you've been honest and respectful in an environment where both are so important.

I'd love to have had the last year of my therapy recorded. But if I did, where the heck would I put them all? I wouldn't want anyone to have access but me...and there'd probably never be enough storage space. I haven't done so in months, but I used to dissociate, and it would be very interesting to have those recordings to see exactly what was going on during that time, how I was, how I went into "that place," and how my T reacted. In the most difficult sessions, I don't remember all that was said, but up until the past three months (I just started again last week) I kept a therapy journal. Just wrote about what we talked about, how I felt, etc. Since I've been considering terminating, it's been interesting going back to those first few sessions and reading how I felt/thought. I also started going back through my first posts here, since I joined here when I first started seeing my T. That, too, has been interesting. But having those sessions recorded would be pretty neat to read back on now.

I do have to say, I always wondered if she was recording mine. I have no reason to think she would....but she doesn't take notes (not during the session anyway). But I know legally, she could if she wanted to. But I brushed it off, figuring there's NO WAY she would ever have time to listen to those again....

I don't think I could be myself if I knew I was being recorded. I hate the sound of my own voice. I'm way too self conscious as it is.

I don't know what to do. I agree with a lot of you that it would bother me knowing i am being recorded even if i am doing the recording. Plus i hate the sound of my voice and i don't want anyone to have access to them. I don't know if i should start recording my sessions. I am stuck.

I would just like to be able to hear my t's voice whenever i want without bothering her. How could i do that?

Can you ask her to maybe record a brief positive message to you?

That is a really good idea but how could i ask that without it being awkward?

I don't consider self protection to be wrong.

But if all OP wanted was to be able to hear the therapist's voice, then I think simply asking the therapist to say something she can record sounds like a reasonable resolution.

Just ask. The worse that could happen is that she says no and I don't know why she would.

Have you thought about what it would be nice to hear her say? Maybe you could write a brief script. Something positive like
"Hello, Cinnamon, You are a wonderful person, You're going to be fine. " etc. This might be a great practice just to write something brief, and basically positive about yourself as a step towards your own self-affirmation.

ETA: My T once did some breathing exercises with me where she counted to help me pace myself. It just occurred to me that would be a great thing to have recorded; a meditation breathing exercise that I could keep with me when I need to do it at home. You might consider something like that.

I agree that all you can do is ask.

I asked my old therapist for a message like that once and he refused. He said it might make me too dependent on him. I think that was the only thing I ever really asked for. I cried and felt rejected, but I kind of see his point.

But he would leave voicemails for me. I did save those for awhile. I guess he wasn't really thinking about it being basically the same thing.

I personally don't think it is wrong to ask or wrong to want this or wrong to get it.

I would feel worse if I asked and she said no.

If you want to hear her voice, and she's the type who says comforting words, I think it's worth telling her what you need. Something like, "I forget when you say certain things (you can tell her they're comforting or not...whatever you can handle saying to her) and it will help me to be able to replay it when I'm struggling."

I often don't remember what was said in my sessions, so I take a little notebook to write things my therapist says that I want to think about during the week. It's it's not for recalling comforting words, though, because my therapist knows I have trouble with that. If ever told her I wanted something positive to record, I have no doubt she'd say sure. After she fainted.

I just think it would be awkward if i ask her to say comforting things while i am recording her. I know if it were me it would be weird. I also wonder if it would create more dependency feelings towards her as someone else mentioned. I already feel dependent on her.