Couch 95: No title required

Not in pain at the moment.

I just read a new news story about finger length - index to ring finger length and what it can mean. My ring finger is a lot longer than my index finger. Mostly I just like the phrase digit ratio.

Ive seen that but i forgot the meanings. Mine are the same length like all 4 fingers on both hands. I mean the 2 pairs on each hand. Not that my 4 fingers on one hand are the same length. You shoulda heard warren beattys comedy routine!

I agree. I am having my mouth reconstructed with implants/prosthetics because my eating disorder damaged my teeth to the point that they were really just pus filled painful stumps...I had to have 12 very large metal implants placed and part of my jaw shaved off. Now I have broken both my ankles, broke my collar bone into 4 pieces, punctured a lung, broke 8 ribs and had a massive heart attack and this surgery hurt more than anything I have ever endured physically...The aftermath was horrific. .my mouth nearly swollen shut and I was vomiting for 12 hours from pain no matter how many drugs I got. After a few days they switched me from percocet to tramadol and Tylenol. They might as well have given me sugar cubes. The effect is so.minimal I can't imagine it has much abuse potential

The digit ratio confuses me. So does macaroni and cheese in a box. And teenagers.

…..and stopdog riding a motorcycle blows my mind…….just………awesomesauce!!

Why am I on the couch at 4 am? Why am I asking y'all? hope you're sleeping and not having bad dreams out there. I'm fighting a headache and guilty feelings and not sleeping. Work tomorrow will be a blast!

I grew up eating macaroni and cheese from a box. I did not have the other kind until I was grown. And I don't like it as much. We would mostly only get it on fridays during lent sometimes with tuna fish mixed in. My parents did not like it all - boxed or otherwise. We did not eat much pasta stuff growing up - spaghetti every so often during the winter and my mom would make lasagna a couple of times a year if there was an occasion.

oh i dunno, stopdog riding a motorcycle kinda fit for me, actually.

I don't remember any dreams last night, which I feel as a blessing, not because of bad dreams per se but just because my dreaming has been relentless since I saw t last month. Either I haven't been doing enough inner work since then, or my psyche wants me to call her for an appointment. Ha, Ego is all "I don't need her, I'm fine!" but Psyche says "I want to do some more dream work with t!" If I could draw/paint, I'd depict a humorous battle between Ego and Psyche.

Have a great day/night couch!! This girl is off to work!

Stupid pain med law went into effect here in Indiana, too. Reduced my Norco to two freekin' pills a day! They only last four hours. So..eight hours of barely managed pain...and then I get to be in pain the rest of the day....and night..

I get that young kids are taking similar pills ...and dying from this stuff...but they weren't gettin' it from me!

You like Kashi nuggets? I haven't heard good things about Kashi, so haven't tried it. Hm.

Had a very distressing yet beautiful session yesterday. I'm feeling emotionally drained and completely exhausted but doing better than I have in over a week which I'll accept. I'm doing better than T says I should be doing but I don't really talk that much about the yucky inside feelings so she only can gauge from what I show, she knows me well enough though. Something happened last night that will be a beautiful moment frozen in time for me.

Anyway, rambling. Just thought I would check in couch and say, "Top of the morn'". Hope you have some pleasant in your day today. Thanks for welcoming me when I stopped by a couple of months ago. It's meant a lot and I somewhat feel, strangely, at home here on the couch.

So being that last night was possibly my worst in over 40 years, how could today turn out any worse? Oh because Karma is a cold beyotch, of course.

Spent many hours tossing and turning, now waiting on a statement from the hospital to include their balance in my bankruptcy repayment. And went to the dentist this morning, yay.

This afternoon at work something hilarious has got to happen. This day needs redemption.

Happy Tuesday Couch!

One time I told the woman I found even the dentist less distressing than therapy appointments.
She acted (possibly exaggerated - not obvious one way or the other) distressed that one would find her worse than a dental appointment.

SM - I hope today gets better.

I would agree, SD. Perhaps only because I really enjoy the dentist and go 4x a year, wish I could go more and right now therapy is like driving myself to my own torture...

I pretty much only find therapy to be the thing I find worse than dentistry.

There are lots of things I find worse than dentistry.... :/

Well, couch...it's my day off and I slept in. Oh well. I had my alarm set to wake up earlier, but I ignored it and turned it off when it buzzed. Still need to call T's office and get the fax number to send in my letter.

Looked at my health insurance account online last night and saw they denied the last claim from old T saying that it was out-of-network. I called to see why. She used an old tax id number by mistake, so she needs to rebill with the correct one. I emailed to let her know. I figured contacting her for a business matter was fine. She responded this morning thanking me for letting her know. She said she would get to it as soon as she could becuse things have been crazy for her because the officer involved shooting that happened over the weekend here was her oldset son (he was the officer). I feel bad for her. Luckily the shot was not life threatening and he was released from the hospital yesteraday (read about that in the paper), but still.

Grandma's birthday is Friday, so I may take her out to a late lunch today as an early present if she is up to it.

Well, I need to go call T office and my grandma. Later, couch.

Well, the fax is sent. Now to see if new T bothers to read it and respond.

If a therapist says she's dismissing a client - what would this mean to you? I found it to be an odd term.

I think people here would call it terminating, which DRIVES ME CRAZY because terminating is a techical term which means like a year long or so process that a t and client do together as an agreed upon ending. Dismissing would mean discontinuing providing services for whatever reason, not implying anything about the state of the therapeutic relationship, whether it was completed or not.

I was telling T that she has my permission to use my story about therapist/patient exploitation when she teaches her Ethics course at her University. I would love for something good to come out of what happened to me.

She countered that I might want to write something up. She would be glad to present it. Then she said that I could come present it myself, if I wanted.
T said her students really like listening to the presenters who come from NAMI who talk about what it's like to live with OCD, etc.

Don't make me use my brain, T...lol
I don't know if I could write a paper about it that would make any sense!

I found it odd because termination is an agreed upon ending of services and dismissal I've always understood to be removal because of misconduct.

I don't think therapists all use terms in the same way.

I'm probably too literal in my definitions.