Couch 95: No title required

My session today was really good, so I don't know why, but the therapy hangover just hit big-time. Hadn't felt one of these in a good while. What is up with that?!

Stupid T is going on a stupid vacation and that means she is "unplugging" which means NO contact for a week when she usually texts me every night. Little bay is flipping out and feeling abandoned and getting self destructive. Regular adult me is really hurt and ready to bail on therapy while simultaneously being ashamed if my neediness.
Wth??? Every time my T and I get back in a good place something happens. I am having a lot of trouble with this unplugging thing.

I had that today. Did some grocery shopping and yoga after therapy and then spaced out for 3 hours til I had to go see some horses

I'm going to go to bed early and hopefully find a good movie on tv to get engrossed in. Otherwise I'll start hogging up the couch again with t hangover bla-bla. Night couch!!

Oh not much.. trying to figure out what my life is going to look like in the fall.. Seeing T for the second time this week on Friday. This session is coming off the heels of what t termed "verbal sparring" between the two of us.. Though, I guess he thought it was good and I suspect he even incited the incident on purpose (b/c remember Ts are wily ones).. Hoping next session is a little more laid back.

Ok I just saw this on facebook. It must be read out loud in a theatrical voice for full effect. It's just the awesomest. Now I am going to bed!

Still needing to curl up and sleep after last week.

I am surprised at the embarrassed thread. I had not realized so many people felt they had embarrassed moments around the therapist.

For me, it was about dissociating- unexpectedly becoming vulnerable. Losing control.

If T doesn't cancel Friday's appointment...and she's feeling better...I'm going to have a frank discussion with her regarding illness.

When a T is in the therapy room and it's obvious she's having some sort of physical ailment...it should be up for discussion. I get concerned. By her not talking about it..I'm sure my imagination has made whatever is wrong to be ten times worse than it probably is.

I totally agree.

The first one I see got pissy at me because I did not ask.

It'll be a new adventure at any rate
I like those 'verbal sparring' sessions myself. The only trouble is the hour goes so fast when we do that. I'm left with a sense of 'aw, I have to wait a whole week before I can have a proper conversation again...' :/

Rambling: I figure T kept her illness from me because therapy is supposed to be about me, not her. But it does affect me. She looked like she was in pain. I asked, "Gosh, are you ok? Do you need your Advil? Do you need some water?"

I didn't ask further because I didn't want to intrude. Maybe the issue is personal. But she is 68... She uses a cane and I have never asked why. I care about her. I worry about *us*.
I've spent all week thinking about her. Yeah, it's about me, too.

I can see how a carelessly worded post could be seen by others to be dismissive of their experience.

That's rough. I hope you climb back up.

Sometimes one has to go through the pain and it can be awfully awfully rough.

I hope your T helps you with grounding exercises?

Thanks, QM. I'm trying seems impossible right now. T helps with so much, more than I deserve at times.

I always fear I'm going to do this So I don't post much.

morning couch. as much as I usually appreciate my dreams and working with them, i am not a fan this morning. at all. i had a doozie last night and i want to talk to t about it right flipping now. i know i can't of course so i'm going to get on with my day, try to forget about it for now. but first i'm going to email it to her and ask to talk sooner than 2 weeks because i want it out of my head. stupid psyche giving me this stupid dream making me ask for a stupid appointment stupidly sooner than i wanted to. gah.

and on that pleasant note, have a great day everyone!

Who feels inspired to start a new couch?

I will...

New Couch: #96