Hi everyone,
I attended a psychotherapist a few months ago but I found it didn't help because I couldn't talk about what was wrong.I also attended a psychiatrist but couldn't talk to her either.I have been getting appointments for a psychiatrist but I keep cancelling them because I can't talk about it.I can't get better because I cant talk about my issues-mainly ptsd and self harm.I don't want medication cause I am scared of that.I don't know what to do?How can talking about something help if it's something you don't want to talk about and something you don't want to remember and want to forget.It doesn't make sense?

[Chummy]

Maybe you could look for a therapist who's specialized in ptsd. And you could write down why you find it hard to talk about things and discuss that with the T. You don't have to start with the difficult stuff.
And if you don't want medication, you don't have to take that, even if a pdoc recommends it.

[divine1966]

Would any particular type of t be more effective? I needed a woman, no way I would open up to a guy, somebody my age or older preferably also with kids and coincidentally but very luckily she is also an immigrant. I would have much harder time opening up to someone who wouldn't meet these requirements. Maybe figure out what type of t would be better and look for that?

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[Coco3]

Did you feel comfortable with those therapists? Did you click? Maybe you haven't found the right T yet.

Thanks for replying.I think I'd be happier talking to a female that might make it a little easier.So it would be ok to write down things and show them to her instead of saying them out loud?It's ok to do that?Maybe I could do that....I have to try something because it's really affecting my life.I didn't really click with my last T I would have preferred a female.I'm going to keep cancelling the psychiatrist when the letter comes and maybe I could find a different therapist.

[Chummy]

Originally Posted by hopefulgirl

Thanks for replying.I think I'd be happier talking to a female that might make it a little easier.So it would be ok to write down things and show them to her instead of saying them out loud?It's ok to do that?Maybe I could do that....I have to try something because it's really affecting my life.I didn't really click with my last T I would have preferred a female.I'm going to keep cancelling the psychiatrist when the letter comes and maybe I could find a different therapist.

If you think it would be less easier with a female, then you should search for a female T.
I somtimes write things down and give it to my T to read. Somethings I want to discus, but I can't seem to get it over my lips. So I write it down and give it to T in session. Or sometimes I email it to her. But then it's less hard to talk more about.

[Coco3]

I've emailed my T a lot when I couldn't (start to) talk about it. Once I wrote it down and I knew my T had read it, it would be easier to talk about. Also because he would be the conversation starter, not me.

[RedSun]

Hopefulgirl I tried a few T's before I found one I felt comfortable with. Like Divine, it had to be a woman, and a bit older than me, who had similarities...I found her

And, even after a year and four months, I still have to write things down. I couldn't say them aloud. T reads them (she always asks if I want to read it, then if she should read it aloud, then I say she needs to read it to herself and she does), then sometimes we discuss it, sometimes not. It's fine to just write things down, paint, draw, whatever works for you. You will find a way.
Xx

[mira belle]

Originally Posted by Red75

(she always asks if I want to read it, then if she should read it aloud, then I say she needs to read it to herself and she does)

whats up with that? my T also asked...do you want to read the note to me..i was like hmm no??? he said should i read it out aloud? hmmm..double no..i already know what the note says...i dont need to hear it or be read to???? you can read it quietly to yourself , please

[Bill3]

Speaking, reading aloud, being read to gives patients the opportunity to hear the words, as well as say/write them. Hearing the words gives a different sense of reality, it is a different sort of experiencing of the reality behind the words. It can be therapeutic.

Consider why a patient would write to begin with, rather than speak. Why is it harder to speak? One reason is that hearing the words while also saying them is harder than putting those words down on paper. Your T is offering you the therapeutic challenge of hearing the words that you have already put down on paper.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

It is hard to speak of some things, small steps at a time perhaps, you have made a start not least by posting here.

[emwell]

Originally Posted by hopefulgirl

Hi everyone,
I attended a psychotherapist a few months ago but I found it didn't help because I couldn't talk about what was wrong.I also attended a psychiatrist but couldn't talk to her either.I have been getting appointments for a psychiatrist but I keep cancelling them because I can't talk about it.I can't get better because I cant talk about my issues-mainly ptsd and self harm.I don't want medication cause I am scared of that.I don't know what to do?How can talking about something help if it's something you don't want to talk about and something you don't want to remember and want to forget.It doesn't make sense?

I too find it much easier to write than to talk. I also find it helpful because I am better able to prepare for the appointment. If I write it down I tend not to forget what I want to talk about.

I have figured this all out via experience. I used to get very mad at myself for forgetting or not being able to talk about things. I don't get mad anymore.

Also, my psychiatrist, who I see once a month is better able to see exactly how med changes have helped or hurt me. Rather than me trying to remember everything I experienced in the past month.

Whenever I used to hand my t something I had written out she would always ask me to read it to her first, and when I would always say no, she would read it out loud even though I wanted her to read it to herself. I guess it's important that we hear the words out loud, and in the safe space of the therapeutic relationship.

[emwell]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

Whenever I used to hand my t something I had written out she would always ask me to read it to her first, and when I would always say no, she would read it out loud even though I wanted her to read it to herself. I guess it's important that we hear the words out loud, and in the safe space of the therapeutic relationship.

I think I am learning something here that I may need to suggest to my last 2 T's and Doctor.

They have always read what I write to themselves.

It never dawned on me that hearing it out loud would be different. But yes. Now that I think of it, it would be very different.

[Bipolarchic14]

I discussed anything from aliens to government conspiracies with my first therápist. I did not look forward to going to therápy. A few months in I decided to change therspists. I later realized I was talking about everything but my issues because I did not feel comfortable with that therápist. If the first therápist could not help, try another one.