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  #501  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 02:39 PM
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Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
We all have different priorities. I do it regardless of other things if screwing it up is going to make me anxious. I also work more than one job and so on. For me it makes me less anxious so I rearrange other things or go late at night or early in the morning, pay others to do some things I normally do myself, etc. Others make different choices based on their needs and situation. I prefer thinking of these things as choices. (I don't usually have anxiety over finding places so this is just as an example for me. I have other things where I am taking care of a very sick person, working two jobs, new pup, etc and so I do have some choices to make about where eenergy goes. I try to choose to do things the way that I know will cause me the least stress.). My point is more about choice rather than me feeling like I am not making certain choices based on my sense of priority.
Now that you've revised your post, I surmise you're saying that you do things to reduce the amount of stress in your life.

Well.... certainly, I do that too. I figure most people do, as best as possible.

However, as I imagine is the case with most of us, things don't all line up perfectly so that we can get to a place of zero stress.

There is choice and then there is circumstance, and between them... we navigate. Free will in a vacuum might be lovely, but of course we all have constraints of one type or another, if not several. Financial, temporal, physical, etc.

In my case, I don't have time to do pre-site visits to the two new sites I have to find every week. I wish I did. I envied the poster who said they would, but of course, it's just one of those 'grass seems greener moments.'

Literally speaking, I could neglect other obligations and do that, but of course, we all have priorties that outrank others, food more important than magazines, etc. in so many permutations, but it isn't at all sensible for me to drop what I need to be doing for the site visits... I can't choose it without problematic consequences.

I've already given up dusting and a million other things lol.
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  #502  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 02:40 PM
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Ellahmae Ellahmae is offline
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Maybe if I could figure out how to walk in like yesterday never happened.....
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  #503  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 02:42 PM
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Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellahmae View Post
Maybe if I could figure out how to walk in like yesterday never happened.....
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  #504  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 03:18 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123 View Post
Now that you've revised your post, I surmise you're saying that you do things to reduce the amount of stress in your life.

Well.... certainly, I do that too. I figure most people do, as best as possible.

However, as I imagine is the case with most of us, things don't all line up perfectly so that we can get to a place of zero stress.

There is choice and then there is circumstance, and between them... we navigate. Free will in a vacuum might be lovely, but of course we all have constraints of one type or another, if not several. Financial, temporal, physical, etc.

In my case, I don't have time to do pre-site visits to the two new sites I have to find every week. I wish I did. I envied the poster who said they would, but of course, it's just one of those 'grass seems greener moments.'

Literally speaking, I could neglect other obligations and do that, but of course, we all have priorties that outrank others, food more important than magazines, etc. in so many permutations, but it isn't at all sensible for me to drop what I need to be doing for the site visits... I can't choose it without problematic consequences.

I've already given up dusting and a million other things lol.
I do work to actively arrange my life so that I can do things in a way that causes me less stress. If I did not, I would accept I had made something else a priority and that the extra anxiety was something I had made a choice about. Avoiding incompetence is a high priority of mine because of how I feel when I am if it could have been avoided.
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  #505  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 03:43 PM
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JustShakey JustShakey is offline
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I think I might just have overwhelmed my T with the avalanche of emotional crap related to divorce papers that I brought to therapy yesterday:/
Upon reflection I think I'm overreacting a bit and he sorta got sucked in...
Ts are human too... Sigh...

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At poor peace I sing
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The fire of birds in
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...'
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  #506  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 03:44 PM
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ruh roh ruh roh is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123 View Post
Now that you've revised your post, I surmise you're saying that you do things to reduce the amount of stress in your life.

Well.... certainly, I do that too. I figure most people do, as best as possible.

However, as I imagine is the case with most of us, things don't all line up perfectly so that we can get to a place of zero stress.

There is choice and then there is circumstance, and between them... we navigate. Free will in a vacuum might be lovely, but of course we all have constraints of one type or another, if not several. Financial, temporal, physical, etc.

In my case, I don't have time to do pre-site visits to the two new sites I have to find every week. I wish I did. I envied the poster who said they would, but of course, it's just one of those 'grass seems greener moments.'

Literally speaking, I could neglect other obligations and do that, but of course, we all have priorties that outrank others, food more important than magazines, etc. in so many permutations, but it isn't at all sensible for me to drop what I need to be doing for the site visits... I can't choose it without problematic consequences.

I've already given up dusting and a million other things lol.
Just weighing in here about the stress of logistics: I travel to new locations a few times a week for work. Some are in high density urban areas that I've never been to before, with one way streets and all sorts of crap that I can't know without being there. I can't be late because I'm the reason for the meeting or event, so what I do is use google earth to actually see the streets and parking situation. I also have navigation in my car, which helps. Traffic is horrible, and I cannot predict that, so I just make sure to leave an extra hour early.

I also have to deal with locations where there's always a chance of being kicked out without a permit to be there, but I've learned to enjoy that part.

Anyway, google earth works pretty well and takes a huge stress off me.
Thanks for this!
Leah123
  #507  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 03:56 PM
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Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
Just weighing in here about the stress of logistics: I travel to new locations a few times a week for work. Some are in high density urban areas that I've never been to before, with one way streets and all sorts of crap that I can't know without being there. I can't be late because I'm the reason for the meeting or event, so what I do is use google earth to actually see the streets and parking situation. I also have navigation in my car, which helps. Traffic is horrible, and I cannot predict that, so I just make sure to leave an extra hour early.

I also have to deal with locations where there's always a chance of being kicked out without a permit to be there, but I've learned to enjoy that part.

Anyway, google earth works pretty well and takes a huge stress off me.
Thanks, yes. I'm kind of a new driver in some of these environments and also new to this work, so I'm adjusting to the novelty, it's an exciting challenge sometimes and a stressor others. I've had to buy some equipment for my new profession and I might have to think about paying for GPS or something, ugh, right after my daughter's $5k braces lol, just found out about those a couple weeks ago, and her appt.'s next week.

I try and map things out before I go, but as you mentioned, it's an imperfect science and hard to find enough time to allow for every potential mishap. I am hoping to have more time in the future.... been working on it.
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  #508  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 04:18 PM
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ruh roh ruh roh is offline
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On a random topic... I told my therapist today about the first diagnosis I ever received and she said no one should have even tried to diagnose me for at least two years because of having just come out of a series of traumas spanning several years. It's a huge relief because I've carried that crappy dx with me for a looong time. She said it's not even accurate.

So I guess I'm hating therapy as a profession right now, but really liking my therapist. Better late than never. I'm glad I hung in there.
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  #509  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 04:24 PM
Anonymous43207
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I wonder how my t would react if after all this time i asked her not to talk one session and just let me talk. Hmmm.

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  #510  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 04:57 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
Oooh, I need advice on how to find an ethical financial counselor here in the US. Any ideas/websites/organizations I should start with?
Try Canada.

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  #511  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:00 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123 View Post
I received my new business cards Friday. "Journalist."

This is my meaningful career, in its early stages. I work part time at it now. Full time at the job that pays the bills, out of which I will also transition once the summer ends ends.
Congratulations!
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  #512  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:03 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool View Post
I think I'm too depressed to go to therapy.
((MKAC))

Is there something specific, or is this good old fashioned "no reason" depression? (I particularly hate that kind.)
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  #513  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
leah I hope your redo goes a bit better
((Granite))

Welcome back, Granite!
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  #514  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:10 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
I think there needs to be a sorting hat for therapists so that we don't have so many Hufflepuffs ending up in Slytherin.
Yes! And they should wear their house colours so we know who is who!
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  #515  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:14 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123 View Post
(Quietly envies people who are organized enough and find the time to be prepared.)
It's not as much fun as it sounds. My organisation comes from fear.
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  #516  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:19 PM
Anonymous200320
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
If you are going to be an impostor, impost with all your might!
Please don't be glib. This is a very painful subject.
  #517  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:19 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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omg what did I ever do and why is posting on this forum a form of punishment for me .im sorry so delegated
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Last edited by granite1; Jul 28, 2015 at 05:37 PM.
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  #518  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:20 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by Mastodon View Post
Please don't be glib. This is a very painful subject.
Sorry! I did reconsider but I wasn't quick enough deleting it.

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  #519  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 05:43 PM
Anonymous50005
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Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
omg what did I ever do and why is posting on this forum a form of punishment for me .im sorry so delegated
What's going on Granite? Are you okay?
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  #520  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 06:38 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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it is nothing . how is your mom doing . they gave tpa tp my farther and it did wonders
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

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Rx, no medication for that
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  #521  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 06:44 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
omg what did I ever do and why is posting on this forum a form of punishment for me .im sorry so delegated
Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
it is nothing . how is your mom doing . they gave tpa tp my farther and it did wonders
These seem incongruous. But I am uncertain if you want people to ask you - or let it go. Particularly when paired with the one you erased. Is there something you could say you want here that would be supportive for you? I think people would want to be supportive - but this would seem a much more difficult way to get it. Or maybe others get how - and I just don't. I am kind of literal in this respect.
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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Last edited by stopdog; Jul 28, 2015 at 06:56 PM.
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  #522  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 06:50 PM
Anonymous50005
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it is nothing . how is your mom doing . they gave tpa tp my farther and it did wonders
She's well. Thanks for asking. They should be moving her out of ICU this evening once she passes the 24 hr mark and they allow her up and moving. She sounds like her usual spunky self. They did some testing today but we don't have results yet.
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  #523  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 06:54 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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im sorry I really just wanted to know how your mom was doing .I went through this with my farther and it is scary . my farther for a bit couldn't even figure answers to simple problems . that was all.
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  #524  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 06:58 PM
Anonymous50005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
im sorry I really just wanted to know how your mom was doing .I went through this with my farther and it is scary . my farther for a bit couldn't even figure answers to simple problems . that was all.
We were very fortunate. They called this an extremely mild stroke event. Still very scary, but other than some residual numbness that seems to be improving, there were no other effects.
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  #525  
Old Jul 28, 2015, 06:59 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
running with scissors
 
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as far as the other post I keep doing stupid things like posting on here. im not so far gone that I knoe people are tired of me and really that is ok but I stupidly keep posting and get my feelings hurt . I care about all of you and want to be supportive . I gust get out of hand with my stuff and I am so sorry . I have been a bit of an emotional basket case with no outlet and it runs over and I have pretty much pushed or scared away anyone in real life away and seem to do the same stupid thing here . im so sorry to all
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
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