[lilacbutterfly]

Ok.... so I've never posted a topic here before, so here goes... My T and I get along great - I've told him I love him (more as a father figure) and he accepts it and hasn't rejected me and told me he has loving feelings for me too. I can really tell he cares. Lately we've been working on anger. Anger is really scary for me, but I'm just starting to get in touch with anger at my parents. My T had me imagine I was talking to my parents. He put these two chairs and had me try talking to them.

It was really weird... has anyone else's T had them do this? How did you feel? But it felt so much when I was done, because he moved the two chairs away and brought his chair back (he didn't use his chair as one of the chairs so I wouldn't have to imagine a parent in his chair). And then he said, "I'm right here, they're gone." And the way he said it and the look on his face was so so comforting. And then he said he was so excited and proud of me for being able to express anger. It was just a really nice session.

lilacbutterfly

hey. the 'empty chair' technique was developed within the context of gestalt therapy, i think.

http://westhartfordcounselingcenter.com/gestalt.html

i haven't tried it, no.

i'm glad you had a nice session :-)

[DePressMe]

I admit, I have done the chair thing. I think I really had to trust my T or it would have never worked. Sounds like you trust your T and made some good progress.

[sunrise]

lilacbutterfly, I think the Gestalt empty chair can be very powerful. Did your therapist help out with a lot of prompts? Or pretty much just turn you loose? That's great it was so helpful to you in expressing anger.

My T suggested it to me, but I was/am not comfortable talking to an empty chair.

I had/have trouble visualizing it.

[InACorner]

it would probably only work for me if i was able to actually express my anger ...and damage the chair ...with ..um something other than my bare hands lol

i agree inny i wood want to smash the chairs to release my anger and complete disappointment in my so called parents..........

I have never done this with my T.

But I am familiar with the technique. We practiced it in school so we can learn how it would feel to be the client talking to an empty chair.

I express my anger with my T still in the chair.

It can be a very powerful release. I encourage you to go with it! (If you feel comfortable, of course). It's totally natural for it to feel weird... that is okay... but it might be very helpful. Looks like you had great results so far.

[lilacbutterfly]

lilacbutterfly, I think the Gestalt empty chair can be very powerful. Did your therapist help out with a lot of prompts? Or pretty much just turn you loose? That's great it was so helpful to you in expressing anger.

No, he didn't help me out with prompts, really. But he kept talking to me the whole time telling me to stay with and that I was doing a good job so that I wouldn't get scared and dissociate (I assume). And I started out as if I was talking to him about my parents, saying "they" this and "they" that, but he very gently kept reminding me to talk directly to them.

lilacbutterfly

[DePressMe]

One of my Ts had me beating the chair with a big noodle thing--it was hard to do. I felt a little silly, but after I got into I really wacked the heck out of that chair.

Gettin in touch with your anger is such a positive thing to do--congrats on making the step. For me it was a real breakthrough in healing.

[RACEKA]

My T tried to get me to do that early in therapy. I wasn't able to do it. He said that was ok, but we will try it again later.

I don't have anger. I don't know if it's because I couldn't express it growning up or anger makes me think of yelling and hitting. I just don't get mad at people, I just walk away from it.

[Christina86]

hey lilacbutterfly...

I've done the empty chair Gestalt therapy thing. It was very odd ... except to make it worse it was dialoguing with myself (two different decisions I had to make). If he had been my T for any longer, I would have probably done it again with him (he left in April, so no such luck).

I found it very interesting and pretty helpful but very odd at the same time. I'm glad it was so beneficial for you!

[sidony]

I've read about this but am glad my own therapist has never suggested it. I'd say no if he did. Even if I felt capable of expressing anger, I'd feel like too much of a fool for talking to a chair (I have pretty bad social anxiety already) that I wouldn't be able to try. I think I would flat-out refuse. I'm glad he doesn't suggest anything like that. I think it's not his style.

Sidony

[MissCharlotte]

Lilac,
I have not talked to a chair, but T actually had me stand up and asked me to jump up and down landing in a loud stomp! It was an exercise in releasing anger---I wasn't really able to do it that day but might be able to in the future.

I feel like I should call and ask if I should wear my sneakers!

Good for you that you did it!

[sunrise]

I actually never thought of using empty chair to release anger. Empty chair is used for a lot of stuff, for example, to talk to people from your past that you can no longer talk face to face with, such as those who have died or who are no longer part of your life for some other reason, or people with whom you are unable to communicate, perhaps due to a dysfunctional relationship. It lets you tell them what you wished you could have told them "back then", which could include feelings of love, anger, tenderness, sadness, etc. You can also use it to talk to some of your other ego states.

My T has said he sometimes has clients release anger by pounding into a pillow they hold. But he said, "obviously that won't work with you," lol. I think I am of a certain client type that can't express anger that way and he knows it. It would be very unauthentic if I did it and just make me feel silly. I do think I might be able to use empty chair, though, to express anger. Maybe I should tell him that. Hmmmm...

[lilacbutterfly]

Yeah, I used to not have anger. This is really the first time I've ever expressed it, and I'm not expressing it at all to the people I'm actually mad at. Just to my T and empty chairs. Hang in there, you'll get to the anger eventually. Just because you don't express your anger doesn't mean it isn't there. My T says anger that gets stuffed down turns into depression.

lilacbutterfly

[Hope4me2]

My T has mentioned the chair several times. He has also told me when he was in therapy his T would have him take a tennis racket and beat the chair to get his anger out about the way his father treated him.
I have not done the chair yet. I trust my T and love him dearly but just not comfortable talking to a chair yet. I have a hard time expressing my feelings to him let alone a chair....he says it would help me to get my anger out but right now I just cannot do it....I am happy it worked for you.

God Bless