worried about a friend (possible trigger)

One of my best friends has a history of falling into really deep depressions. He goes one to two times a week to a therapist but recently he had planned on terminating those visits. He was so happy for a while because he fell in love with a guy that is so perfect for him (he is gay). Unfortunately, that perfect guy is leaving the country for a whole year for his job. My friend is devastated and he is saying that he will seclude himself from the world and go off where no one knows where he is because he is afraid of himself. He says he's going to get more help for himself, I'm assuming it means he's decided not to terminate his visits to his therapist.

I've never had a T, so honestly I'm kind of stumbling around in the dark here. Does he need me at all? Would my attempts at comforting him be futile, should I just leave it to his therapist? Any advice as to anything I could do to help him would be much appreciated because I am so so SO worried about him right now

I guess just allow your friend to find his own solution? I know its hard to sit back and watch someone we care about "going thought it"...but at the end of the day the person has to find his/her own will to survive...maybe you can look at why you are so worried??? ...

Hi Lil Bit, sometimes I isolate when I am depressed. Although I “want” to be alone I do appreciate people who keep reminding me that they care. When I am like that it is a catch 22—I feel like I need to be alone and yet I really want to have somebody love me/ care about me. My friends who know me don’t try to force me too much to go out or anything, but they do stay in touch and remind me that they care. In time, I generally open up to them and allow them to help me dig my way out of my depression. I can’t offer advice, but it is good when my friends ask me how therapy is going—do I want to talk about it... Even if I don’t want to talk about it, knowing they care interested helps.

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mouse_ said:
I guess just allow your friend to find his own solution? I know its hard to sit back and watch someone we care about "going thought it"...but at the end of the day the person has to find his/her own will to survive...maybe you can look at why you are so worried??? ...

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I think I worry about him so much because he is so much like me. His usually-peppy personality keeps me upbeat ya know? Like, if he falls, I fall kind of thing. Hopefully not...I just hate being shut out of his life and I don't want him to do that to me while i want to help him so badly. Perhaps control issues within myself? I don't like being helpless...or feeling so.

thanks so much for your reply

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DePressMe said:
Hi Lil Bit, sometimes I isolate when I am depressed. Although I “want” to be alone I do appreciate people who keep reminding me that they care. When I am like that it is a catch 22—I feel like I need to be alone and yet I really want to have somebody love me/ care about me. My friends who know me don’t try to force me too much to go out or anything, but they do stay in touch and remind me that they care. In time, I generally open up to them and allow them to help me dig my way out of my depression. I can’t offer advice, but it is good when my friends ask me how therapy is going—do I want to talk about it... Even if I don’t want to talk about it, knowing they care interested helps.

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Thanks DePressMe, I think I am just going to keep an eye on him. I have told a couple other people who know him well and care about him as well about my worries so they are watching with me. I suppose all I really can do is make sure he knows that I'm here for him no matter what, and if he comes then he comes and if not....well just hopefully he doesn't do anything drastic. Thanks so much for the personal insight on this.