He left...

I wouldn't be very comfortable with his actions!

I feel like I will bring it up. Part of my whole issue is to strive for "perfection" and never let people know my emotions so that they don't reject me or leave.

So this leaving feels huge. To hear my emotions and just say nope and walk away makes me feel that people WILL reject me for expressing how I feel (IE reacting defensively over the whole time issue) and that I should continue to hide how I feel.

It seems like your T knows he made a mistake. His mistake has brought up a lot of emotion for you, it can be a good chance to explore this, sometimes good things can out of mistakes. I also see my T at her home, I usually drive and wait round the corner in the car until the exact time, to be honest I feel like a bit of a lemon doing this. Occaisionally I walk and if I am early I also wait round the corner, also feeling like a lemon. I've never talked to T about this. It is a bit of a problem if you see a T in their home.

Sorry but your T would hate me I'm always 15 minutes early.
Personally I'd find a new T ... That's absolutely ridiculous. What he did was nit picky-ish.

This could be a valuable part of your therapy. Your T did not respond well to you and bringing it up would be ' healthy assertiveness '. I hope it goes well for you!

I agree with some of the other posters that you should definitely bring it up, and that it could ultimately be helpful to you therapeutically. The couple misunderstandings I've had with my T and marriage counselor have been painful, but I learned a lot by working through them.

Is this unusual behavior for him? If so, then maybe he was having a bad morning or you interrupted him in the middle of something. Still, it's unacceptable for him to act that way to you. If this is his only time leaving a session because he's angry--and he's actually apologetic about it--then I say give him another chance.

Right now, I don't even want to set foot in the office again. I don't feel safe with any of it. I know that may change but I just feel so upset.

If your location is correct, there must be a million ts in your area to choose from. This guy sounds like he missed the last ten minutes of Rachel Ray or stg. Id look for someone more experienced.

I used to come earlier when I saw my T at hospital and when I started to see him private he said that I should come at my time not earlier or later and when I met him next his door 5 minutes earlier he told me to wait.

Your T reaction wasnt normal, maybe he had bad day and he was annoyed before, maybe he is lil bit unstable. If he is sorry and understands he acted wrong then I hope it would be okay.
I suggest you to come right at your time, maybe your T wants a little break between clients and doesnt want to work over his time, also if you come earlier how can you know that there are no client inside, it can be disturbing for previous client too.
I had situation when someone came in while I was still there but my T came to say that person to wait a little bit. Now he closes the door.

I'm thankful that my T is always calm, cool and collected. I honestly think I would look for another T.

This story is one of the weirdest I've heard yet. Everything that went down all because you were 10 minutes early to your appointment is most irrational, immature, and unprofessional regardless of the type of day he was having. Ten minutes early is within a normal, acceptable, reasonable time frame for appointments. I don't blame you for not wanting to set foot in his office again. I'd be paranoid that a sneeze might make him send you packing.

Sorry you have to deal with this bizarre situation. I do hope you can get it resolved quickly in whatever way you need to.

He had also set a timer which he sometimes does and I asked if we needed that since we were doing a good job keeping time with the clock he now has. Plus when he tried to bring these up I got defensive and said I didn't want to talk about this and I didn't get why he said it was ok to be early if it wasn't.

I think it was mostly my fault for annoying him but I still can't get over him leaving.

Yeah, even if you had annoyed him it is still not your fault. The only instance I can think of where it would have been acceptable for your T to leave like that is if he felt threatened by you physically. Obviously not the case here, so that makes his behavior unacceptable in my book.

He ****ed up. And, given how you feel about this, he may very well have broken the thing that makes the therapy work. Because you now never will know when his next 'blowup' will be. And that means that you can never trust him again - not the way you did before.

Basically, he failed to provide the service he is supposed to provide. He failed to honor the fragile relationship and the trust that a client puts in a therapist to be there therapeutically.

And over a silly thing like ten minutes?

Sorry this happened to you. It must be really odd for this to have suddenly happened after two years of being in therapy with him. Have there been other signs of this instability?

Deleted......

I'm sure there were but I tend to ignore and give the benefit of the doubt. I guess that doesn't go both ways.

Update: Tonight was my regular appointment. We have a longstanding appointment on Thursdays with the agreement I will email and cancel on Tuesdays if I am canceling. Well last time I said I would email him by Tues if I was to cancel. I didn't email./

Wnt to my appointment and he was not in. I am sure I will be blamed as in I didn't email to confirm the appointment and I think after last time that's what he wanted. I didn't understand that I guess.

So I guess we are done.

UNBELIEVABLE!! I am so sorry you have to deal with this, but, glad you are free of his insanity.

This is very strange behaviour by a Therapist and I'm sorry you've experienced this - it is a reflection on him not you.

I spoke to him and he said he was winding the practice down and taking an extended break. At this point I'm not sure I believe him though I think it's a good idea before he damages anyone else. I;m absolutely heartbroken. I feel like everyone leaves me in the end.

Like Out There says, it's about him, not you. He clearly needs to stop working for a bit. I hope you find another good T.

I know it's hard but try not to take this personally. This guy clearly fell off the deep end. He is obviously not well himself. Taking a break without giving clients advance notice is another clear sign of how unwell he is.

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise for you. I hope you have much success finding and working with a new t.

Im so sorry you're going through this. Like the others have said - it sounds like he's having a bad time at the moment, and unfortunately as his client it is you that is affected. Its such a sad situation - but its not your fault this is happening.

What a kook. Not showing up, that is just an insane thing to do, unless there was an emergency. I understand your heartbreak. Even if he is turning out be a nut job and even if logically you know you should probably get away from him, I'm guessing the part of you that fears abandonment does not give a s**t about that stuff.

This is NOT a reflection of anything you've done or haven't done. His initial reaction to leaving the room was so off and now this revelation that he couldn't tell you in person about? Obviously he has some serious issues going on in his life because he can't manage the simple things like showing up for an appointment.

You're going to beat yourself up for this, but try to find ways to be kind to yourself. If anyone thought this was your fault, someone would say so and no one is going to because this is obviously HIS issue and nothing to do with you. We'd tell you if there was even a chance for that to be true.

Losing a therapist, even a crappy one, is going to break your heart or make it feel like someone has died. You WILL get through this.

Do you have any options for seeing someone in the immediate future to offer you support during this difficult time? I know you said your T was in a rural area so I imagine your options may be limited. It can be very healing just to hash things out with someone else, even if they don't end up being your permanent T.

Sorry this was so long. You are not alone, okay? Keep posting.