Couch 105-The couch with no issues.

Haha. American football is the only sport I watch but I have friends are fans of baseball and I'm like "That's still going on?"

I do kind of wish rugby was a thing here.

Gosh! I feel worse tonight. Took care of the "labwork" this afternoon and took it up to urgent care. Started taking antibiotic cuz they know its not a virus. And took my first antinausea pill tonight. Hopefully I get results from labwork tomorrow. We'll see. Otherwise spent the day chillin' with mom and dad. I gotta go get the test for carpal tunnel done tomorrow morning. Ugh!

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I like rugby too. After watching even a little rugby, american football players look like the cheerleaders to me - shiny costumes, prancing around!

I played rugby for a short period of time.
I rather sucked at it and never really figured out the rules.

Has anyone else wanted to say something in T but the voicing of the thing would mean it was real and the thought of the thing being real means that it happened to you and you don't want it to because it sounds so unreal that it couldn't possibly have been real and happened to you but you know it did and it would spoil the fairy tale childhood you've made?

I am going to apologise in advance for the large number of post deletions in the next couple of weeks, its just my own insecurity and nothing to do with anyone else.

I need to do my assignment but i am sitting here obsessing over my T session in 4 weeks time...Really need a distraction.

I played rugby for seven years in college/grad school and I loved it.

I actually quite enjoyed Alex Kingston in the Xmas Doctor Who.

Yes. I can't say in T that my parents let me and my siblings down. I can easily say I feel my parents maltreated my siblings but can't say they did the same to me, even if I got similar treatment. It feels like it'd shatter my illusions...I even know they're a fairy tale illusion...

Sounds familiar.

But you hate her!!!

Morning, couch.

Well, I didn't clean last night. I laid in bed to pet the resident dog and ended up falling asleep. Ooppss. So, I shall do that today. I have until 3:15 before I have to leave for CVS and it is only 10 minutes shy of 8am now. Well, I need to get cracking.

Be back later, couch.

Morning couch. I woke up this morning before the alarm clock feeling this deep sense of gratitude, of happy, and instead of wondering where in the world it's coming from, I'm just going to go with it and see what happens.... off to work with me, have a good day/night couchies. Hugs to those who want 'em.

Oh yeah, absolutely! I still haven't truly "voiced" it. I have only disclosed it in writing, and talked around it.

I can't wait until the current season of Doctor Who is on Netflix. I don't want to shell out for the big cable package just for BBC America.

Weeellll, I canceled my appointment with T tomorrow (and also another random appt I had). We're due for quite the snow storm and so I was like "Eh. I'm not even going to try." I live in the middle of nowhere, it's like a pain in the mikta to get out if we get a decent dumping of snow (gotta wait for the plows and for the husband to snow blow our rather decently sized driveway).

It'll be two weeks until I see him which means I won't have seen him for a month when I go back!

Okay - in the spirit of genune curiosity, what do people see in Dr. Who? I am flummoxed - I have never been able to make it through an entire episode without getting irritated.

A day of musicals - American in Paris and the 7 Brides for 7 Brothers (only up to the barn raising dance - it is a stupid story but I love the dancing)

It's a lot of things for me. Admittedly, I've only ever been interested in the "New Who" (starting with the 9th Doctor). There's this weird blend of whimsical fun and gut-wrenching tragedy. There's this dark streak to it too that I don't see in American sci-fi.

And I like the characters I'm enjoying Peter Capaldi's performance quite immensely. He might be rivaling David Tennant for favorite doctor

Im venturing out to t into snow and freezing rain. If its too slippery im coming right back in.

I liked the dr whos with i think the ninth dr, the guy who became an actor just to play dr who. Hes also done some marvelous shakespeare. Of course i cant remember his name. Tom stg? Eta - right david tennant.

I don't think you'll ever understand how much you meant to me. When I think about the people who've caused me the most pain in my life, you're at the top of the list alongside my dad. I was so innocent, and I was so full of love. All I wanted was to love you. It's not your fault entirely. It all comes down to circumstances and timing as well. If you met me a bit earlier on in my life, I wouldn't have opened myself up. I was trying a new thing and you were there. I found myself being more vulnerable than I ever had in my life. I was so sure that you felt the same way but you told me that I was a hopeless romantic and you just wanted a **** buddy. I was young and I was desperate for your love. I compromised myself and my values, desperately urging you to use me so I could get some of that love. You still refused. I gave it my all, and no matter what I did, I couldn't make myself good enough for you.

I spent the next year at school saying **** it and sleeping with anyone who wanted to sleep with me. I was broken and I no longer was the hopeless romantic that you pictured me out to be. I became cold and I never let myself be vulnerable again. I masked my feelings for you with pointless infatuations and called it moving on. I hated you for the person that I became. That one night that we did happen, I think about it all the time, wishing that I enjoyed it more. You'll never understand the pain that I felt when after everything, after me going off the deep end, you still didn't want to be **** buddies. No matter what I do I'll never be good enough for you. It's not your fault that you don't feel the same way, but you didn't have to rub it in. I don't think you understood the extent of my love for you. I tell strangers about you. Nobody I meet compares to the feelings that I feel for you. I'll never understand how you could have used him when you didn't love him but you couldn't do the same to me. I want to think it's because you loved me too much to use me but I don't think I'll ever know how you truly feel.

That two month break did nothing because the moment we reconnected, I found myself hoping again. I wish that I could kill that hope, I really do. I don't think that I can just be friends with you but I don't want to hurt you like that. I know that one of the reasons you refused was because you didn't want to lose our friendship. I don't want you to think that after everything, despite not doing anything, you still lost our friendship. But it's so hard for me. Looking at you makes me sad. Your existence makes me sad and my biggest fear is that I'll never get over you.

I wish she never hurt you like that. Because then, maybe you'd be able to love. It's just a self-perpetrating cycle of broken hearts and cold souls and I miss who I used to be. But it's not your fault. It's not your fault that I can't get over you and it's not your fault that I can't love myself anymore. I'm done being angry at you for sometimes leading me on. Because it's more than just that. I know this has got to do with me too. I love you so much but I wish I never met you.

-the most honest thing I'll write

I grew up with Doctor Who. The Doctor was my protector as a kid because nobody else was.

I played during my undergrad career and loved it What position were you? I was scrumhalf. I just now joined roller derby, and it seems to be a similar atmosphere of close teammates and fun.

Have you tried watching it from the viewpoint of a child? After all it has always been a kids show.