New t asks the strangest questions

Is she taking to you more like a colleague? Is it actually therapy then? Do you want to have actual therapy?

Umm, wow. I would definitely look for another T.

Yes, I think she is treating me like a colleague. By rights I am paying her to be my therapist but this is where boundaries are not clear whilst training. Most ts think that because you are doing your training that you don't need therapy anymore but it couldn't be further from the truth because it stirs up lots of things you thought you had dealt with, especially now that I am seeing clients.
It is kind of therapy but I see that she treats me differently then regular clients.
She says quite provocative things!

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I'd stop seeing her

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monalisasmile, you are on the road to being a wonderful therapist. So, I think it would be important to you to find a therapist that will allow you to be the client and they do their job as a therapist. Too many posters on PC share their sad stories about therapy failure, and my guess is they have therapist that have not completed their work to heal. Please, don't be one of them, monalisasmile. There is a therapist out there for you. i wish you well in finding him/her.

Maybe play around with doing it differently this time. You don't have to exactly know why warning bells are going off, but validating their existence can be a freeing experience.

I have had therapists say inappropriate things (like suggesting I channel my self harm into S&M, or saying I'd be less depressed if I "just got laid"), they sat weird with me st the time and I ignored them but, in retrospevt, I wish ai had listened to my instincts.

If you're posting about it here, it seems like you're at least a bit concerned.

Thank you for your kind words and it is my greatest fear to end up like some of the therapists I have seen in the past. I have done a lot of my healing even with less than good therapists but I still have a lot of unconcious wounds to heal that perhaps this therapist is sussing out. I am not sure we can heal them but I think she is bringing than to my awareness.

It was freeing to acknowledge my concern on here and have it validated. I appreciated your comments and everyone else's.
I am slowly learning to listen to my emotions and those alarm bells instead of putting them on silence. It's a tragedy to do to ourselves what was done to us. I was silenced and unheard for years and and then I started to do it to myself. I have learnt to trust these bells.

I am sorry you have had that experience in therapy Pinkflamingo. It's amazing how therapists think that saying anything like that to you or any client has any therapuetic value and says more about their own needs and wants than it does about you. I am glad that you see now how damaging comments like those are and I see that I have concerns with new t because some of the provocative things she has said. It's catch 22 because I have longed for a therapist to notice me and to want me and now it's happened I want to run for the hills!


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