Couch 106 - the couch that must not be named

OK couch I am off to bed meds have kicked in.

Belated hugs for you, BunYip. I hope you're resting well.

Just finished a sappy romance novel and now it's off to the real world, facing angry and curious callers, and facing my fears a little. I have to confront the coworker (who humiliated me on Thursday) in front of our supervisor to get the hell over it. I'd rather have my face nailed to the floor. Pocket riders willing to lend me some strength?

Hopping in, Stressed....

good morning (evening) couch!

it's monday again hoo rah. i'll be seeing t probably on thursday after work, we decided not to wait 2 weeks this time after our talk the other day when I asked myself out loud "why can't I leave you alone in between". she's not available next Saturday and we were going to do Friday after work but I had to change that cuz I have to drop my son off at school at 5 as his manufacturing class is leaving for a week-long trip to Dallas. So assuming my overtime is cancelled thursday (it likely will be, they've started cancelling it every day now) I'll be going thursday after work. That's only like 5 days in between. I think I can leave her alone that long. I'm figuring something out, though, it's got a lot to do with the emotional intimacy that I realize I fear but at the same time crave, and even though I struggle with it with her, it's pretty much the only place I do feel like I get it, when I let myself. I don't let myself feel it here even. So this is my new therapeutic mission: to figure out how to find it (or let myself experience it?) in my marriage and my friendships so I don't need it so much from t. Ugh this therapy relationship has got to be the most confounding thing in my life. I hate that it means so much to me. Hey - flash of insight - is it my hating that it means so much to me, giving it power over me somehow? If I stop hating that it's meaningful and just let it be meaningful, will that put it back into better perspective? Hmm. And now I am going to be late to work because of my ruminating. Oh well. Catch y'all at lunchtime, couchies.

My T would say if you stopped fighting the meaningfulness and let yourself be inside it you'd start to understand WHY its meaningful. And there lies the path to healing

god im a real piece of work i posted one of those sayings on FB that said being adult is bull **** . there was some banter about it and i said something like my hubby adults all the time except when he is playing with his toys .i kind if meant it like im always acting like a child but he got insulted and is now upset at me and now im a basket case crying .i hate me

Your t sounds very wise BB and so do you thank you! I think maybe that's where my thoughts were leading me but in a more roundabout fashion. I always seem to take the scenic route.....

Sent from my LG-H345 using Tapatalk

I do better with routine. Schedule. Written tasks. Had a personal breakthru yesterday after a couple pretty bad days. Excited to talk to T about it this afternoon. Hope I haven't crossed the obsession line with this though :/ I have a hard time seeing when I'm obsessing or when I'm just "doing" something that is helpful.

Seeing the lawyer at 10:30 and T at noon tomorrow...oy...stressful. Maybe T and I can do a short relaxing meditation to start therapy? I'll text her and give her a heads up on that. That's not something I've ever done in T. We'll see.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My t occasionally drums for me and that is so very relaxing...

Sent from my LG-H345 using Tapatalk

***TRIGGER WARNING!!****
Hi all. I just don't know where to go with this. I don't even feel anything yet, except anger that my brother-in-law would do this. I know should be more compassionate, but I keep thinking "what a stupid thing to do".



There's isn't anything we can do right now. I think I'm just angry that he put other people in danger. I know I haven't processed this whole incident yet and more information will come out over the next few days.
Thanks for listening. I'm really very sorry if anyone is triggered by this!!

My sponsor in AA would be more likely to do something like that. I think I meet with her tomorrow at 2. I'll have to check tonight when I see her at a meeting.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I generally do better with routine too, though not so much with scheduling. As my routine is about to be seriously disrupted, I've gotten grumpier the past few days.

(((Granite))) It's not your fault your H took it the wrong way. Tell him to get over himself already

Everyone hop out of my pocket now, did I squash you? The meeting was short and to the point, my supervisor waited to call me in until after she had given the whole story to my coworker. I got a true apology. Now I feel even worse. Go figure!

Routines are good. Nice and safe and make me feel accomplished. Growth involves abandoning them far too often than I like though....

Aw Stressed

I have this thing I've been supposed to do for work since, like, Christmas, and I still haven't done it and I need to do it today and I REALLY don't want to dammit!

I'm hungry and I forgot to turn on the rice cooker and now I have to wait

Thanks Art. I needed to hear this right now. I just had a phone session with my T, told her about my huge breakthrough with holding on to connection.... And she kind of blew it off...like " that's nice"...and inside I'm screaming THIS IS HUGE HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT....got off the phone feeling extremely hurt and confused. Just needed a reminder that its not all for nothing

I miss my rice cooker . the yellow lab tried to eat the cooking rice ( he never bothered it before in 6 years but he has been on a diet so maybe it smelled extra good) and knocked it down and broke it. Now I'm in a decluttering trend and I am torn between having a rice cooker and having more clear counter space

sigh. I am so sorry, Granite. So many people are so touchy lately! I think it's the lack of sunlight.

it has got to be something like that. he never has a problem like that

Did you guys get snowed in? I almost feel guilty that we didnt.

That whole no sun thing can make a lot of difference I have found.