[negotiator]

What my question is to everyone who are in the field or have been visit the therapist is that why do have to go and have session? If we have problem we someone why can't we discuss it with that person? Just a suggestion from your side cause I'm having a problem and somebody recommend me to see a therapist? Please suggest....

[(JD)]

To me a therapist offers an expert, unbiased, non-personally-involved opinion. While those involved certainly know all the parties involved, the T can see beneath at the possible underlying reasons (or ask enough questions to find them) each person might be holding his view. Often we are so involved in our own POV that we just can't see or hear what the other person is saying.

If there are deep seated issues, such as might be with anyone with a conflicted past, I doubt just sitting and talking with someone to work things out (without a T) will do.

Obviously that someone that told you to go to therapy thinks it's only you that has the problem? If nothing else, therapy can support you where you are "right" in things of your best interest, but it can help you learn to work with those who think it's all your problem (only.)

TC!

[ErinBear]

Hi Negotiator,

I'm not a therapist, but I've been to see therapists before. I think there are choices we can make in our behavior. It is possible to go and talk with people directly when we are having difficulties, but sometimes if we're having trouble talking with others, or trouble resolving problems with another person, it may be time to look for alternatives. Sometimes therapy can be helpful.

I was trying to think of an analogy. I have friends who play golf, which is an intriguing sport, but it can be frustrating! There are a lot of intricacies to perfecting one's golf swing. One of my friends has periodically taken lessons from a golf pro, and it has really helped him enjoy his golf game better, and perform better on the course. It's helpful to get advice and tips from a coach, who can give you some perspectives, tips, and ideas you may not have considered before. I think seeing a therapist is similar. In terms of communication, therapists can coach us on ways we can communicate more effectively. And they can also help us work through other past issues that may be interfering with present-day life, when appropriate. So while it is possible to play your "golf game" as you are presently doing, by just going to talk to the person right now, you may find it helpful to talk with a therapist/"coach" if you are continuing to have a lot of difficulties in that relationship.

Take care,
ErinBear

[Perna]

Lots of problems can be solved by mutual discussion but sometimes they are only one-sided/"our" problems and we don't realize it and need help learning what is "mine," what "yours" and what is "ours." Just because I want to talk about something doesn't mean the other person wants or needs to talk about it and sometimes we can get "stuck" and a therapist can help us move on again. We can only affect our own lives, take care of ourselves and our thoughts and feelings, not another person's and sometimes that's hard to learn.

sometimes there isn't another person involved or discussing things with that person have failed or reached a standstill. SOmetimes the issue "with" the other person has nothing to do with the other person. In any relationship we can only affect what we do.. not what the other person does... so i went into therapy to solve the problem of what I am doing or have done that has contributed to the situation.

so for me, seeing my therapist is a guided conversation with myself. Then i can choose to do what i like with what i learn.. and maybe that involves a discussion with another person, but it would be an informed discussion.

and maybe therapy helped this person who suggested it... and it was just a suggestion right? Maybe in your particular circumstance the best thing to is to discuss it with the other person. Therapy doesn't help anyone who goes if they don't feel the need to explore their own inner issues... not IMHO. If you read the ideas here and have a feeling you could benefit from therapy then pursue it, but if not then do what your heart and mind tell you to do.

Great question for your first session!!

[Fuzzybear]

[lauren_helene]

I know what you mean, as I have often questioned the use of therapists myself. To be honest, I never in a million years thought that I would be seeing one. I still believe that for many problems, if you have a good supportive network of family and friends you can to talk to, then this is often a sufficient solution. However, for many mental health problems and other issues such as childhood trauma I think a therapist provides you with a safe and confidential, non judgemental space in which you can explore and resolve your own issues. For me personally, I have told my theapist many things from my past which I haven't discussed with any body else in my life, even though I have a supportive family and close friends. I can't imagine myself spending an hour a week with anybody else and talking soley about me!! Having her support in slowly healing has been a godsend. It has enabled me to carry on in my normal life without burdening anybody else close to me. The only negative side to this has been the financial cost, but I try and look as it as a long term investment in me........which I haven't done before. Good luck on whatever you decide. Of course, this is just my opinion.!!