[ChavInAHat]

T has been trying to help.

I on the other hand seem to dismiss the things that she asks me to do instantly. I do try it eventually... But I just wondered if anyone else struggles with their T Introducing a new thing?

I am still not keen on the mindfulness while I keep getting flashbacks...

But tonight I actually tried the painting and it was quite relaxing and I actually enjoyed it. Ok the paintings are rubbish- but I don't think T was thinking of perfection when she asked me to try it...

So yeah... Anyone else do this? Or any ideas of why? (OK the second question is a long shot)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[stopdog]

I tried a couple of her suggestions in the beginning that sounded extremely stupid. I told her they sounded like she was just making stuff up - and indeed they did not help. So I did immediately reject and then try the crazy ones - just to no good end - and to one really bad end but I consider that on me as I knew it was more likely a truly awful plan than good one. The non-stupid suggestions I had already been doing for years (meditation). The woman said I never told her when something was a success and I was then forced to tell her none of her ideas had been useful and to stop trying.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Not I, but perhaps you are unconvinced that they will help and/or they induce or might induce painful thoughts/memories. Best tell her probably.

[ChavInAHat]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Not I, but perhaps you are unconvinced that they will help and/or they induce or might induce painful thoughts/memories. Best tell her probably.

We have touched on it. Especially with the mindfulness because I do see the merit but actually I am struggling quite a lot with flashbacks.
Also I have explained that I find it a bit difficult to understand how I'm supposed to 'lovingly and gently let a thought or memory go'.

We touched slightly on my tendency to say no before giving things a shot. I don't agree with her initial assessment, not fully anyway. Part of it may be true but it's not the full picture.

I will discuss it more with T on Wednesday, I just wondered if anyone else struggled with it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Argonautomobile]

Glad you enjoyed the painting! It can be really fun and relaxing once you decide not to be harsh with yourself about the outcome.

I'm a 'try anything once' sort of person, but "Lovingly and gently let a thought or memory go" would drive me to violence.

Like, oh, of course! I should let it go. How did I not see in all these years suffering from crippling intrusive memories that I should just let it go. How did that never occur to me?!

[ChavInAHat]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

"Lovingly and gently let a thought or memory go" would drive me to violence.

Like, oh, of course! I should let it go. How did I not see in all these years suffering from crippling intrusive memories that I should just let it go. How did that never occur to me?!

That is pretty much exactly what I said to T- along with- "if I could just 'let it go' I wouldn't be sat here paying you to help me deal with it"

She did agree that some of the advice in the books is a bit 'knobby'. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her email responses are just as 'knobby' so left it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Out There]

' Lovingly and gently letting a memory go " put like that to me would probably not work - but I do mindfulness and maybe a less " knobby " version would be to place an unwanted thought or memory on a leaf and send it down a stream. I'm glad you're enjoying the art and its helping. I really don't like being told what to do so do tend to say no to things.

I will research some things and if there is no explanation as t why it works I dismiss it as voodoo. I understand the way hypnosis works but on another level I am aware at some point in time no-one understood how it worked either. In short I haven't got a effing clue why I do this.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Perhaps your T means you could be loving/gentle to yourself? I have noticed that people use hurtful memories to beat themselves up for reasons that may not be helpful? Just a thought.

[ChavInAHat]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Perhaps your T means you could be loving/gentle to yourself? I have noticed that people use hurtful memories to beat themselves up for reasons that may not be helpful? Just a thought.

No it's in the book 'lovingly and gently let the thought of memory go' while breathing in and out

She does say I should have more compassion for myself... But the book is the one telling me to acknowledge these things and let them go.

Trust me when I say that I could go the rest of my life without seeing or feeling what I do in a flashback- it's kinda why I go to T... To stop them, hopefully.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by ChavInAHat

No it's in the book 'lovingly and gently let the thought of memory go' while breathing in and out

I've finally, and very recently mastered getting out of flashbacks. A book my T leant me really helped, and wasn't knobby at all - its called '8 keys to safe trauma recovery' by Babette Rothschild. Its an amazing feeling to be able to stop flashbacks at will - I hope you get there.

[RedSun]

Chav, I do this also, of rejecting ideas outright. I think I don't like being told what to do. I don't want T to be right somehow....maybe it takes some power away? Or it would be hard to find something that did work, because then I would think 'I could have done this years ago and saved myself all that pain'...something like that

[skeksi]

I used to always tell T no when he wanted to try something new and I would refuse to even attempt it. When I did, I just said, "It didn't work." T has been patient and accepting. I think part of it was an attempt to feel safe--trying something new is scary. And a big part of it was me testing T to see how I reacted when I said no. He was always accepting and respectful. It got easier to take risks and say yes.