What does giving into attachment look like?

Wow sorry, sounds brutal. I wonder why he did that?

One thing I see often missing from discussions like this is -- to what extent is attachment or dependency feeding the therapist's needs and in what way is that influencing the process? It's supposed to be all about the client, but if you read widely on the subject, there are a million accounts of therapists clearly being driven by their own needs and impulses. I can say with relative certainty that my ex-T was attached to me in some way.

I'm really sorry your session was so bad, Wandering. I must say, I don't understand his actions here. I can't come up with a rational framework that would support both his unexplained ending the session (that alone seems a failure on his part to me), yet also agreeing to see you for another session tomorrow. Those seem to me to be contradictory messages.

My T did pace the attachment process, I realize in hindsight, really skillfully. I arrived at therapy with what's called a "hopeful transference": basically, a need that expresses as an expectation of attachment, rather than a slowly growing over time thing. Of course, I wasn't aware of this at the time. But he recognized it, and he modulated the level of emotionality from himself and within the therapy in order to slow down and contain my need. It's one of the reasons he wouldn't hug me, despite my wanting him to: he knew it would likely increase my attachment and fuel a dependency. He also was very careful in handling instances of regression during trauma work, so as to minimize dependence and keep me functional in my life.

There were times when we met more often than once a week--but it was with the goal of stabilizing me, not increasing dependency. Ending your session early--seemingly acting on his preference--would suggest to me that he felt session time wasn't being used productively (whether or not that should be his call is another issue). But if that were true, then it's contradicted by agreeing to another session the next day. I just can't understand what he's thinking.

Thank you so much for your insight--it's really helping me feel grounded right now. I can't figure out what his motivation was. In the moment, it seemed obvious to me that he felt like the time wasn't being used productively. Ugh, I want to think about this more but it makes me feel ill. I've tried to understand him through his actions today but I keep coming to contradictory ideas much like you suggested. To me, it feels like he wants to terminate therapy. But why not come out and say it? Definitely going to lay it all out there ASAP tomorrow.

I had a very intense attachment to my therapist that, ultimately, caused me to terminate her. I was SO done with those feelings - you described them as I felt them. Then throw in some maternal erotic transference that we could not work through and I simply couldn't do it anymore. Took about 6 weeks for it to resolve, now I still love her but it's more fond feelings than intense painful longings.
I could email, call and text her. Just brief responses that she told me ahead of time.

What I wanted was a good mom, took me over 5 years that a psychoanalyst wasn't going to be that.

But my point is, I got over her, but, for me, I had to get away from her to do it.

I really feel your pain and am very sorry you're in it. It's really hard.

Small Update: Had session this afternoon and put everything out there. Without going into detail, he said he wasn't feeling annoyed or anything negative just that it seemed like the session had come to a natural close and he gave me the option to stay if I wanted. We also talked about how to reduce the volatile nature of our sessions and while we didn't come to a clear conclusion/answer--I feel so much better that it's out there to be worked on and that we have a good idea of why our sessions swing from being really good to really bad. Overall, feeling closer to T and feeling like our relationship is changing which is exciting and scary